Part time now, but.......

[Jessica Merriman]

Hi everyone! I went part time yesterday and now I have a big problem. For those of you that went part time were you able to do it successfully or not? I came home and found I could not go to male mode. Just the thought of it drove me nuts, so I didn't. Is this normal at all to feel this way? I just had such a great day fully female on a busy University campus and even ate out all by myself at the University hot spot in town. I felt free, myself and comfortable (my therapist used the word "flirty"). I just find the thought of going back to the depressive and oppressive male mode disgusting and confining. Should I try to stay part time and make sure this euphoria is going to last or just go for broke. I am having trouble with this decision because of how I feel right now. I want to make sure I am not missing or overlooking an important component of part time and it's success in the transition process. 

[stephaniec]

just jump in the water

[Jill F]

Hi Jessica,

I didn't go full time because it was required of me, it just happened naturally.  One day I just ran out of sh^ts to give about what anyone else thought, and that was that.   I had been processing a shot my therapist took at me a couple of weeks prior, "If there was nothing stopping you, why would you not just be Jill 24/7?"  and realized she was right on the money.

The fact is that once I owned the female presentation, I became much more comfortable in my own skin that way and I NEVER wanted to show myself as a guy ever again.

If you just dress the way you are most comfortable presenting yourself, you may end up full time sooner than you think.

[Jessica Merriman]

Thanks girls! I just wanted to make sure the euphoria wasn't causing an adverse effect I would regret later as far as my original plan. Full time it is!!! WOW, never thought I would be saying that this early. I guess it is true, once you are free there is no getting caged again.

[stephaniec]

Its just a great feeling to be you

[Heather]

If you don't mind me asking if your living as yourself outside of home why not live as a yourself at home too? But there is no right time to go full time it's when you feel comfortable enough to just go for it. I kinda just fell into living full time I don't know how I just woke up one day and decided I had enough of putting up the act.

[Jessica Merriman]

If you don't mind me asking if your living as yourself outside of home why not live as a yourself at home too? But there is no right time to go full time it's when you feel comfortable enough to just go for it. I kinda just fell into living full time I don't know how I just woke up one day and decided I had enough of putting up the act.

I was waiting for everyone I knew to be notified about the big change in my life so they did not drop by unexpectedly and have a heart attack or something. Family and a few select individuals knew, but not everyone. I took care of that detail about an hour ago. Full time it is!  Now I am cleaning out the closet for the new "inventory"! *giggle* I just didn't expect to go full time this fast, but once it takes, WOW.

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Thats awesome Jessica 

Thats how I feel when I get home after a day as a girl or when I know I have to go somewhere as a guy , its unwanted and kinda hurts...

[Emo]

I want this.
Im jealous Jessica. I want so bad to dress in the clothes and makeup that i want and just be comfortable about it..
Sadly im still in the closet in the public eye.
Hope things get even better for you.

-Noelle

[Heather]

I was waiting for everyone I knew to be notified about the big change in my life so they did not drop by unexpectedly and have a heart attack or something. Family and a few select individuals knew, but not everyone. I took care of that detail about an hour ago. Full time it is!  Now I am cleaning out the closet for the new "inventory"! *giggle* I just didn't expect to go full time this fast, but once it takes, WOW.

Congrats Jessica! Part time just can't compete with being yourself 24/7.

[Jessica Merriman]

I thought the worst financial drain would be GRS, but OMG the price of new clothes!*giggles*

[KittyKat]

Congratulations on taking a chainsaw to your cocoon. Clothes are semi addictive, have to be careful!

[big kim]

In 1990 I went  part time to see if it was what I wanted and I thought a compromise could be reached were my parents and sister wouldn't know about my female life at nights and weekends.It wasn't for me I  needed full time.

[Joan]

Good for you, Jessica!

I guess when the time feels right then the time is right

[Christine167]

    

[Cindy]

I think I won the bet?


Congratulations honey. Very proud of you.

Cindy

[Jessica Merriman]

Congratulations on taking a chainsaw to your cocoon. Clothes are semi addictive, have to be careful!

You are not kidding! In male mode I had like two pair of jeans, now I want everything in sight. I used to throw on anything, now it has to match and accessorize and be current. Think we could blame it on "E" in any way?*giggles* I never used to look at how anyone else was dressed and now it is like I have to have it. 

Hey Cindy, how much did you win? *giggle*

[Missy~rmdlm]

I part timed for many years, escalating until I was doing the 24/7(-40) thing. I did that for 6 months too.

I would avoid being agoraphobic just because you are in guy mode. That's counterproductive, but sure working within whatever social limitations you have, go for as much part time as you'd like.

[Lara the Lover and the Fighter]

Jessica, you are my hero!