Love and Anxiety: The End

[Constance]

My partner and I had another argument last night, and this was the final one.

I'd been dismissed three times since the end of March only to be asked to reconcile. Yesterday started with text messages about how great everything was and then suddenly I got a text saying I wasn't the right person. But, they also mentioned having a bad day at work and that their PMS hormones were making them cranky.

We tried talking it out last night on the phone, but I felt we just weren't getting anywhere. I think we'd been approaching this relationship from two very different points of view. There were multiple incompatibilities. My partner was no more at fault in this break up than I was, and it's possible I should bear more responsibility for the problems. But when I realized that I was afraid of conversation for fear that I'd say the wrong thing and upset them, I knew that I couldn't be the person they needed me to be.

This is the final break up. I am not going back, and I think that's the best for both of us.

[AnneB]

Hon, I'm so sorry.  We wish we can fix things, and that our spouses would accept, or at least tolerate, but sadly, for many of us, that just can't be.  If I could, I'd wish away your sadness, and hope for better days to come.  In time, I pray, you could still be friends..  Hugs

Paula

[Constance]

Well, this is my first partner after my divorce became final in February 2012. So, at least it wasn't a very long relationship that was ending and there isn't any legal stuff to deal with. Really, we'd only been an official couple since mid-March but I felt that they had become my partner.

I hope that they'll be able to forgive me eventually.

[Jess42]

Well, this is my first partner after my divorce became final in February 2012. So, at least it wasn't a very long relationship that was ending and there isn't any legal stuff to deal with. Really, we'd only been an official couple since mid-March but I felt that they had become my partner.

I hope that they'll be able to forgive me eventually.

Constance it mostly take two to tango and usually in relationships there is no one person to be blamed. I sort of take relationships with a grain of salt and never rush into wanting to be tied to another person. I know it is sort of philosophycal but if it isn't meant to be, it will never be and if it is forced to be nothing but turmoil will come from it. I don't know the whole story but I'll almost bet forgiveness needs to be a mutual thing. Don't blame yourself. Get back on that horse and seek another more perfect for you. Down the road, you'll see what I am talking about.

[Constance]

Thanks Jess.

There were definitely issues on both sides. It certainly wasn't just me. I think I missed some not-so-subtle hints, but that's part of the problem. Communication has to be direct and I thought I was doing that. My partner didn't think so.

Well, I will heal and recover and see what the future holds.

[Jess42]

Believe me it will hurt for a while, but you will get over it. My God, how many times I have gotten over a failed relationship. I feel for you but don't blame ourself only. On the bright side and yeah it sound cheesy and kind of stupid but it is true, Love will come when you least expect it.

[King Malachite]

I'm so sorry that it didn't work out, Constance.  You will find a great partner one day.  You're very bright and intelligent, thoughtful, and have a good head on your shoulders.  I know that may sound cliche, but I mean it.  Hang in there, mam.  You will find someone that apperciates you for *you*  -HUGS-

[Constance]

Thank Malachite.

And thanks again Jess.

[Adam (birkin)]

I'm sorry to hear it Connie. But I think you're approaching this with a very healthy and mature outlook. You have to do what you feel is right and best, in the end.

[Constance]

Thanks Birkin.