Change in Interests?

[Sarah Rose]

Something that I've found very interesting since I've come out is that my interests have completely changed.
I don't really know if it's just the hype of being able to do things I was afraid to in my past, or if my hobbies where only there to keep my mind off the idea of coming out.

I've always been interested in computers, networking, electronics, and radio for so long that my family has stories of me taking things apart farther back than I can recall.
I still feel that while I've not been interested in any of those things since coming out that those interests will for the most part come back, however I think of how I enjoyed those hobbies may be gone forever.

I always had this thing about me that if the idea came to mind I had to do it, I had to prove to myself that I could... I think a big part of this is because when I was younger I was diagnosed with ADD and was told that I would... among other things never learn to read. I was pretty angry about that and set out to prove those people wrong. I think that has stuck with me over the years.

For example I have broken into telephone conversations and encryption schemes (with permission of the owner to keep it legal), I've intercepted live satellite transmissions of video, audio, and data... Things that most people don't even think about. I still have interest in those things however I don't feel that it matters if I ever accomplish them.

That driving force to do these things is gone..... completely, I just don't feel it. I've even considered selling my radio gear to go twords HRT costs ..... something I might not have to do for money all because I really just don't have the same interest.. I'm an Amateur radio operator with an Extra class license.. and I worked hard for it. Now..? I don't care.

Has anyone else ended up in this place? Did you ever get out of it?
The difference for me is this isn't depression... it's more of... I don't care because I... I guess I've found new meaning in my life.
Thoughts?

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Its can happen... with hormones or not...
I havent notice something like that,,, I guess you could say I was into football a lot , now I kinda dont care at all...

[Jill F]

It's perfectly OK to take inventory of your true self in order to cast aside the things you did only to meet others' expectations of you.  I had to really think about what my interests really were when I had that great revelation.

I used to think I hated stereotypical or traditional female activities like cooking, shopping or housekeeping and liked all of the stereotypical/traditional male activites so there was no way I was actually trans*.

It turns out that what was really happening in my head was that cooking, shopping and housekeeping, being (erroneously) viewed as "feminine" activities were actually dysphoria triggers for me, so I resented them.   "Male" activities such as drinking beer and watching sports turned out to be something I truly enjoyed, but some aspects of dudebro culture I always had problems with. 

I still love my guitars, amps, electronics and music as I always did.  This never changed. 

I think Jennfer Finney Boylan put it best- "Same monkeys, different barrel."

[MugwortPsychonaut]

I'm really into clothes now, but I never lost interests. Skateboarding is still number one. Punk rock is still number one and a half.

[katiej]

It turns out that what was really happening in my head was that cooking, shopping and housekeeping, being (erroneously) viewed as "feminine" activities were actually dysphoria triggers for me, so I resented them.   "Male" activities such as drinking beer and watching sports turned out to be something I truly enjoyed, but some aspects of dudebro culture I always had problems with. 

This is a really interesting way to look at it.  Suddenly I find myself doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen most days...and not in a cursory satisfy the wife kind of way.  It really matters to me, and I kind of enjoy it.  Before I came out to myself, my attitude was that my wife should be grateful for whatever small amount of housework I did, because it was still more than a lot of guys.  That whole thing just vanished. 

I also am really enjoying women's fashion.  I can't stop watching What Not to Wear on Netflix right now.

One thing that I've been thinking about as I look to transition soon, is that I'm really going to miss playing poker and smoking cigars with the guys.  I've never felt like a full member of the group, but I really do enjoy cigars, scotch, and poker.  And I know that women can still do those things, but they typically are not invited -- and the vast majority wouldn't be interested anyway.

I would think that after transition (i.e. a huge time-consuming mind-dominating commitment), it's common to settle back into life and some of the old hobbies/interest would return.  Has anyone else found that to be true?

[big kim]

I still like punk rock,metal,classic muscle cars & bikes.Not shot any pool for a while but I still like it.

[Rachel]

I have redirected some interests, I think, because I have  a limited amount of time to pursue them. I still like the interests but something I want more is taking precedence. I never liked sports and I am straight edge. Cards never was my thing and guybro no thanks.

[suzifrommd]

Has anyone else ended up in this place? Did you ever get out of it?
The difference for me is this isn't depression... it's more of... I don't care because I... I guess I've found new meaning in my life.
Thoughts?

Totally me. Two of my favorite things were watching football on tv and playing strategy. board games.

I can still do both, but they aren't the thrill they used to be.

I never cared about clothing, never wore jewelry, and hated cleaning up, keeping house, etc. Shopping was torture.

Now I love shopping. One of my favorite things to do. I like keeping my house, doing the laundry, keeping the place neat, etc. My looks are important to me, and I feel naked without at least a bracelet or bangle and earrings.

This has totally floored me. I don't recognize myself and I'm getting to know the new me. I really like this person better.

[Tessa James]

I never cared about clothing, never wore jewelry, and hated cleaning up, keeping house, etc. Shopping was torture.

Now I love shopping. One of my favorite things to do. I like keeping my house, doing the laundry, keeping the place neat, etc. My looks are important to me, and I feel naked without at least a bracelet or bangle and earrings.

This has totally floored me. I don't recognize myself and I'm getting to know the new me. I really like this person better.

Suzi you, in turn, nailed it for me.  I really didn't care about my looks as a guy.  I am becoming a girl that both surprises and feels wonderful to me.  Almost shocking some times.  I said I would never wear high heels and like you found shopping something to hurriedly endure.  What a pleasure to have a second chance to be a very different and better person.

[gennee]

What has to be considered is the motivations for doing particular activities. I still love football. I am more into fashions. My attitude toward shopping has changed. As a male I couldn't see the point of spending hours shopping. Now I could it all day.

I have cultivated some other interests. Poetry, a radio show host and  real estate are just a few.

🙂

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Any change I've had in my general interests had nothing to do with my transition. It's just something that happened on its own.

[Hikari]

Well, after coming out, I felt less pressure to participate in male-centric events by my male friends. So not so much that my interests have changed so much as I didn't have to do things I didn't enjoy all that much. Like I still play video games, but I play alot less, and I don't have to participate in these FPS contests which I never really cared for, I can hang out with the women and talk about clothes lol, as stereotypical as that sounds it turns out many of my male friends have just no concept of fashion.

[Kade1985]

Since I was a kid I was always into the things I am into today. Sci-fi shows/movies action/adventure shows/movies, my music, my video games, hanging with people.. I'm rather bland lol. Since I came out to most people my interests really haven't changed, though I've stopped forcing myself to have "girly" moments. Pretty much all that's changed lol

[IamLIZ]

I found the more I repressed the more lost interest in doing anything. Now that I'm opening up to myself I find I'm gaining back all my old interests and possibly open to things I might have been ashamed to admit too.

[TheNemo]

I'm FTM, so I'm kind of the opposite of everyone else posting here, but yes when I came out as trans, I definitely found that my interests started changing. When I lived as a 'girl,' I spent most of my time writing poetry and reading literature, and since I've been out as a guy, I love hanging out and watching football and playing pickup basketball games with my friends. Yes, I did eventually get out of it to an extent, because now I still like to write poetry sometimes and I'm getting my old interests back. So for MTF, FTM, or anyone else, I really do think there's a personality shift when you come out no matter what, and there's nothing wrong with that; but in the long run, don't force old hobbies. Just do what makes you happy 🙂

[nether]

Anyone have this feeling prior to transitioning? Kinda feels like a dark hole of trying to care about things you don't really care about.

Not meant as a depressing post, just a way of thinking you may have not seen before. Perhaps you are growing in addition to transitioning?

[Jessica Merriman]

I don't think my interest's changed so much as the fact I got to let them be more visible. I was always cleaning and cooking at the Firehouse and one day one of the guys said "You will make someone a great wife some day". OMG it made my day (but I couldn't show it then)! Now I can listen to the music I love without anyone commenting and things like this. The only thing that really changed is now during competition I am not so driven to win, just be with people.  🙂

[Jessica Merriman]

Anyone have this feeling prior to transitioning? Kinda feels like a dark hole of trying to care about things you don't really care about.

YES! I was so robotic I could not even see or know I was in a hole! ABSOLUTELY! 🙂