I would say that my sexuality had to be lit first. I think my subconscious always knew that I wanted a boyfriend/husband but being male didn't allow me to accept it whatsoever. I completely buried it on the bottom. I didn't want to face it. But then I ended up letting one guy in and it changed my life forever. For the better. Being with a guy and falling in love with my prince became a big part of my identity. I started taking notice of them on a physical level, which I never did with girls, not once. I would get a little weak in the knees around the tall, dark, handsome men. And I was attracted to the taller ones who had broad shoulders and pretty eyes and pretty smiles. :-)
Something about men just clicked with me. It wasn't any one specific thing. It was all the things. All the little things, too. Holding a man's hand, being held by one, looking into one's eyes. Not to mention how adorable they are when they smile and laugh. When I have my hand in my boyfriends I am at home. I love him <3 I love that he's so good at cuddling, and that I want to talk to him and share everything with him! I love just to have my head on his shoulders and to smell him near me when we relax and watch TV or movies or just anything.
Oh gosh, I'm gonna dissolve into tears of happiness!
I see sexuality as fluid, definitely, but I think you can get to the place where you know what you want. I'm grateful I wasn't so closed-minded in this little hillbilly town that I didn't take the risk to find out!
