Bottom dysphoria.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 09:38:28 AM

Am I the only one who has a bad case of dysphoria when it comes to the between the legs area?

I honestly hate looking at it and touching it than ever before. It will be a while until I can get bottom surgery; I'm still a virgin and I don't know if I'll ever be able to have sex before having the surgery done because I feel so uncomfortable down there. I wouldn't want to be touched there or anything.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 09:57:51 AM

Quote from: alabamagirl on January 23, 2014, 09:48:39 AM
You're definitely not alone in feeling that way. While I don't experience much dysphoria over my own lower parts, I know people who experience *INTENSE* dysphoria over that particular part, to the point of feeling absolutely miserable whenever they acknowledge it in any way.

Yeah, I have some pretty bad dysphoria over it. D: It sucks.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 10:10:35 AM

Quote from: alabamagirl on January 23, 2014, 10:04:46 AM
*Hugs* I really do empathize with your feelings about it. Being close to people who feel the same, and listening to them describe how they feel in so much detail is heartbreaking. All I can say is hang in there, save up what money you can, and hopefully the day when you can get your bottom surgery will come soon.

I'll try to save up some money. I'll have to wait a few years though because I'm not old enough to get bottom surgery yet.

mm · January 23, 2014, 10:18:58 AM

Mr Hockey, I am with you all the way on bottom dysphoria and it will be years before I have the money for surgery, hopefully t will give me some growth and help me to feel better about myself. Monthly shark week is always bad having to deal with the mess. Somehow I do use tampons which certainly help with the mess of not feeling or seeing the messing pads.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 10:24:56 AM

Quote from: alabamagirl on January 23, 2014, 10:16:49 AM
I admire people like you who are transitioning so young. When I was your age, I was scared to death to admit I was trans, even to myself. I denied it until I was at my breaking point, and it was no way to live. I'm glad you won't have to go through that, at least.

I'm still partially in the closet though. :/ I'm still scared to come out to everyone, right now only a few people know. I came out to my mom but we never had a real discussion about it. It's like I never told her.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 10:28:47 AM

Quote from: mm on January 23, 2014, 10:18:58 AM
Mr Hockey, I am with you all the way on bottom dysphoria and it will be years before I have the money for surgery, hopefully t will give me some growth and help me to feel better about myself. Monthly shark week is always bad having to deal with the mess. Somehow I do use tampons which certainly help with the mess of not feeling or seeing the messing pads.

I can't express how much I hate that time of month. I've never used tampons before and I have no idea how to use them.

I'm currently in that time right now which made me create this thread. Periods always give me bad dysphoria. I don't want to be reminded that I'm biologically a female.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 10:39:16 AM

Quote from: alabamagirl on January 23, 2014, 10:34:45 AM
It's still great progress. You've accepted who you are, and you've been brave enough to come out to those people. That's something to be proud of.

What was your mom's reaction when you first told her? If it wasn't negative, maybe she just doesn't know how to approach the subject to have a real discussion about it with you. I'm sure it's not an easy subject to bring up for you, either, but you may have to be the one to do it.

I texted her that I wanted to talk to her about something and I told her that I didn't like being a girl and that I think I'm trans. She said she'd always be there for me and that's the last we spoke of it. I see a counselor for depression/anxiety issues and she told me to talk to her about it. I don't know how to bring it up to mom and tell her I want to go on T, get my name changed legally and eventually get surgery.

mm · January 23, 2014, 10:44:21 AM

I am at that time of the month too. About a year after I started and was still around other girls in school and some of them had started using tampons. I hated this monthly bleeding and wanted to be rid of it and be as far away from it as I could get. Tampons would get rid of the pads which reminded me all the time when I used them. I got box of the slim plastic applicator kind and after about 4-5 tried got one in that felt aright. I am so glad I persisted for it has a much better for it ever since. I am now 23 in college and hope to start t soon.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 10:58:52 AM

Quote from: mm on January 23, 2014, 10:44:21 AM
I am at that time of the month too. About a year after I started and was still around other girls in school and some of them had started using tampons. I hated this monthly bleeding and wanted to be rid of it and be as far away from it as I could get. Tampons would get rid of the pads which reminded me all the time when I used them. I got box of the slim plastic applicator kind and after about 4-5 tried got one in that felt aright. I am so glad I persisted for it has a much better for it ever since. I am now 23 in college and hope to start t soon.

I should start using tampons I guess.

I also hate the cramps, they're probably my least favorite part of it all. I'm thankful for pills that take care of the cramping. MTFs are lucky they don't have to go through this.. lol.

mm · January 23, 2014, 11:16:37 AM

You do have to get committed to succeeding when you try tampons as you will probably have a problem or two getting the first one in completely. Use the slim plastic applicator type the first time and it would be best if you were having flow when you try so you have some lubrication from it. Read and understand the instruction that come in the box. I get cramps for about a day before I start and for another day; I always know when I will start bleeding which is nice to know I need to carry a tampon for when it does. I willn't take any female hormones for the pain only over the counter pain meds for me. Oh yes, MTF have no idea what it is like to have a period every month.

mm · January 23, 2014, 11:18:10 AM

Sounds like your mom is understanding and wants to help. You will have to find a time and place as soon as you can to have a talk with her.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 11:22:23 AM

I appreciate the kind words and advice.

When the time is right, I'll talk to my mom about it.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 11:33:34 AM

Quote from: alabamagirl on January 23, 2014, 11:25:20 AM
Haha... I remember when I first came out to my cousin, she told me "Why would you want to be a girl? It sucks. We have to deal with having periods every month."

I'm not sure how I feel about that particular aspect of it... Part of me feels like I would be thrilled to experience something so exclusive to cis girls, and the other part thinks not experiencing it is one of the rare perks of being trans.

You and other MTFs are very lucky you don't have to deal with periods. Bleeding for 3 or more days with unbearable cramps and mood swings is not something you'd enjoy lol.

One of the reasons why I feel being a guy is amazing is because they don't have to deal with all that stuff. Being a girl is tough and sucks, for us FTMs at least, but I'm glad you ladies are happy with it.

mm · January 23, 2014, 11:43:17 AM

Mine last 4-5 days, about 1-2 days of heavy flow needing the super tampon then. Cramps are definitely the worst part of having it ever month; the constant reminder for that 1-2 days that you have those female parts down there. I will be so glad to get on T and then hopefully a total hyster to be rid of those parts and the problems they cause.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 11:47:23 AM

Quote from: mm on January 23, 2014, 11:43:17 AM
Mine last 4-5 days, about 1-2 days of heavy flow needing the super tampon then. Cramps are definitely the worst part of having it ever month; the constant reminder for that 1-2 days that you have those female parts down there. I will be so glad to get on T and then hopefully a total hyster to be rid of those parts and the problems they cause.

Mine lasts usually for 3 or 4 days. And yeah, I agree with you. Vaginas cause a lot of problems, don't they?

mm · January 23, 2014, 11:55:43 AM

My vagina is just there and I use it to hold tampons to collect the blood from my uterus and it is the hormones from my ovaries make all this happen. It is the internal parts that you can't see that cause all problems for us. Female parts have many more problems then guy parts, look there is the specialist of GYN medicine to take of women's parts.

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 11:58:18 AM

Quote from: mm on January 23, 2014, 11:55:43 AM
My vagina is just there and I use it to hold tampons to collect the blood from my uterus and it is the hormones from my ovaries make all this happen. It is the internal parts that you can't see that cause all problems for us. Female parts have many more problems then guy parts, look there is the specialist of GYN medicine to take of women's parts.

Yes, that is true.

aleon515 · January 23, 2014, 12:12:01 PM

Quote from: mm on January 23, 2014, 11:55:43 AM
My vagina is just there and I use it to hold tampons to collect the blood from my uterus and it is the hormones from my ovaries make all this happen. It is the internal parts that you can't see that cause all problems for us. Female parts have many more problems then guy parts, look there is the specialist of GYN medicine to take of women's parts.

It's very true. Health insurance used to cost females more in the US.

--Jay

Calder Smith · January 23, 2014, 12:27:09 PM

Quote from: alabamagirl on January 23, 2014, 12:23:14 PM
This is completely unrelated to the topic of discussion, but I just wanted to say, Mr. Hockey, that you look very masculine and handsome already. I agree with what someone said in the picture thread; you do have a sort of Bruno Mars-esque quality to you. Actually, I think you're more handsome than him. T is going to do wonders for you, I'm sure.

You think so? Thank you!

overdrive · January 23, 2014, 12:48:21 PM

Thats great you are coming out now and it sounds like you have a very supportive loving mother. Even if the conversation seemed to end rather quickly, her saying she supports you no matter what is HUGE!

I came out much later in life (in my 30s). I always wished I was a guy but trans wasn't something that really was known when I was younger. I know people have had SRS years before I was born but it was something that wasn't talked about and to many of us didn't even know was a thing. I just remember people telling me I would get used to it and it was just adjusting to my body and changes as I progressed through puberty.

I really don't have any top dysphoria but my bottom dysphoria is off the chains. I really want to get a Reelmagik but I also want an STP or at least a bottom tab so there isn't any accidental touching of female parts when I get intimate with someone. I've been holding out for a while but still nothing. The day Reelmagik comes out with it is the day I order, just not sure if I can wait until then. So I can understand where you're coming from.

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Bottom dysphoria.