Got Letter and Backing Out On Same Day

[Genzen]

Thank you thank you thank you! I feel that I have been reborn since I've posted this. A deep sense of peace has come over me and I know what has held me back and that it can no longer contain me. I have feared being alone for almost all of my life. I have done anything to get acceptance from others to avoid the pain of being alone. Instead of just sticking to my values and being myself. I am a transexual woman and I'm proud of it now. I've started having dreams where I'm a woman for the first time in my life. I even had a dream where I was admitting to someone that I'm a transexual. It was liberating. I still have a lot of fear, but I know I can not let this fear hold me back. My wife sent me this link today and I think it really spoke to us both: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-youre-in-transition-being-patient-and-accepting-uncertainty/
I know she loves me and is also afraid and together we will walk this path. When her BPD is at work I do have to recognize this and keep up my end of the relationship by giving her what she needs in those moments. This comes in the form of gently letting her know I'm still here and giving her the space she needs at the same time. I love the advice in this thread and thank you Debbie and others for your well thought out responses!