I have had a very confusing life, and am trying to finally make sense of it all. I was born cis-female. I spent most of my childhood as either a tomboy or bookish loner. In high school, I was determined not to be squashed in a box, and for a year or two actually dressed and passed as male. I experimented with guys and girls, never really sure about either one. 3 months before the end of my senior year, I ended up pregnant and unsurprisingly alone.
From there, I fell into femininist lesbian circles, and ended up in a 13 year ltr with a partner who transitioned ftm after 10 years of the relationship. We had two kids together, and I left the relationship, with the kids, after it turned terrifyingly abusive.
I am now on my own, and trying to sort out my own heart, and be who I really am. I have squashed myself for so long, I am not really sure who that is. I have been taking steps that make me happy, and am noticing that giving away all the dresses and feminine clothes, and girls shoes, and so on is making me happier and happier. I bought a compression shirt, and it wasn't the right fit and I was so crushed. But it made me feel like I am finally on the right path.
So I am here, looking for community and help and thoughts and advice from other people who have walked the road before me.
*being a nerdy rule-follower, I did read over the forum rules.
