Am I ready?

[Endless_Process]

So I've been going to a therapist for about three months now, and he's saying he'll sign me off a letter for T. I've been socially transitioning for the last 6 months or so. However I feel really nervous about this. I know it's the right thing for me, but I'm probably going to wait a little while. Continue to see my therapist and try and overcome a few more of my daily obstacles before adding this to them. Anyways what was some of the thing you guys did to ensure you were emotionally ready for Testosterone?

[Kreuzfidel]

In my opinion, you're definitely doing the right thing by waiting.  If you're not ready, there's no point in going ahead until you're positive that it is something that you need to do in order to live your life to the fullest.

For myself, I was always "emotionally ready" for testosterone as I had never had any doubts or major issues that would indicate that it wasn't for me.  I have known I was male since my earliest conscious memory, so there was never an emotional barrier or whatever you want to describe it as.

You've not really indicated why you're so nervous about it - I can't really comment appropriately given the little amount of information you've told us.  In one breath you say you know it's the right thing for you, but you're also saying that you're really nervous which may indicate you have doubts about it in the first place.  I think that, in my opinion, if anyone is having doubts or worries about it to the degree that they aren't sure it's even right for them, they shouldn't be on T period.  The changes can be irreversible beyond a certain stage, so like anything that will permanently affect your body - it shouldn't be done on a whim. 

I suppose when you lose theses doubts and fears, and have gotten a clear picture of where all of your other issues are coming from and are going, then maybe it would be time to have a look at getting on T if you are still convinced that it's what you need and your therapist/doctors agree.

[overdrive]

If you have any doubt, you are doing the right thing by waiting. Starting T is a big deal and shouldn't be taken lightly by anyone. You should be well informed about the pros and cons and make certain you are comfortable with everything before moving ahead.

My doubts about starting T were basically medical. The lack of information. And the scary ass things I've heard about chances of cancer being greater. But then I let go of all these fears and told myself that I can't be happy as I am. So I took the plunge. And I don't regret it.

Same as was the case for me. Having known too many people to die from cancer I was so terrified of getting it and what I had been told with increased chances I put it off a few years.

[RaymAnthony]

I agree with the other posters about thinking it's a good idea to wait. If you're doubting enough to make a thread about it, I think that indicates that it may help you to hold off for a bit. I went back and forth in my head about whether or not I wanted to take testosterone for almost a year until I felt confident that I knew it was what I needed to do- so don't worry about doubting, that's totally normal and okay! Take your time; you won't regret it in the end

[Endless_Process]

Thanks everyone who replied. Yeah sorry I didn't explain much. My biggest worry is can I handle the back lash that comes with being trans. Like I have completely see myself as male and am no way doubting my identity. However having spent 5 years in a deep depression (which I have recovered from), I am concerned that I might not be strong enough to handle all (if any) hatred that comes my way. Though I feel like I could handle it right now, I don't know if that will be the case when I'm visibly changing in front of everyone. I don't have the biggest support system, and feel that I'm going through this mostly alone. I just wanted to know, how hard is it to face the hatred? Did you guys have to face a lot of this alone? How did you comfort yourself when other's tried to put you down? Or was there not really a big deal?

[aleon515]

I think what Emily says is pretty true. I live in a pretty liberal area and didn't get read as male very consistently til I was on T for maybe 8-9 months (I'm older which I think made it harder). But I think that guys have an easier time. If we are not passing, society doesn't really care. They just think you are an extreme butch lesbian or something. From strangers got maybe one negative reaction, while I was in a car. People mostly surprise me. I have gotten mostly positive reactions. I am quite out about being trans, and mostly people forget about it. I have kept the same plumber, go to most of the same stores, etc. The hardest thing was the long period til I passed but it wasn't that I got hatred. It might be different if I lived in some conservative place.

OTOH, I did wait til I was very sure it was what I wanted to do, I mean get on T. I didn't rush into it. I gave myself the time to process that I was going thru a big change.

Emily is right. I was on T for 3-4 months at work. Okay I started at a very low dose but I radically changed my presentation. The only person that even noticed at all was my best friend at work. Nobody noticed. At the end of the time there, I came out to about a dozen people. No one even suspected. It was kind of hilarious. I went from wearing girl's t-shirts (the skinny ones which show your body and girl's chinos, to men's button downs and men's pants. People just don't notice as much as you might think. They are sort of blind and I think they are more involved in their own world than you think. They don't care as much about others as you might imagine they do.

BTW, I was not really depressed when I started T, but T really helped my self-confidence. I never liked the person that I saw in the mirror. I began to really like how I looked. So it was a little boost, I'd say.


--Jay