Not a good day

[Aiden5150]

My fiance and baby sister and I decided to go to the mall today. It was supposed to be a fun trip, we have a party to go to for some fundraiser and I thought "I'll get a new outfit and look nice". But that was a total disaster -.- Not gonna lie, i'm a bigger dude. I'm 5'9, 220lbs, so not crazily tall or little, sadly. I wear a binding compression shirt, but with a 38DD, well, the binder helps some, but I still think it's very obvious that there's fatty tissue under there.

I don't know if it's the shape of my body, or maybe I'm just really to stupid to figure how to wear clothes right. It's just really frustrating when sometimes clothes look great, then other times I just look like crap. And it's hard to compare myself to the trans guys you see on YouTube and stuff cause they're so slim and they pass perfectly.

And to top it all off, I found out my doctor wants to put me on pills to jump start my period that I haven't had for 10 years (she doesn't know I identify as male), and that just made me woefully depressed. That was like, the one thing about my body that I was ok with, and now she want to mess that up. Sorry for being such a downer, I just feel like I can never catch a break.

[mrs izzy]

You have to remember you are in charge of your body and only have to do what you wish to do with it. So just tell the doctor no thank you but you will pass on there recommendation of treatment.

As for cloths, yes i can relate just to the other side of the spectrum. I just keep trying on till i get what i am looking for.

I have to layer more then i like but if that is what make things look good then so be it.

I wish you the best and work on getting under a therapist that will help you get on a plan that will help you work on the path forward.

Hugs
Isabell

[YinYanga]

With me it's back and forth aswell, from feeling like I got that look to utter *beep*

Hope your day tomorrow is a bit better Aiden

Vivi

[mm]

Aiden5150, I can sure see how you are down today.  I don't want to take any female type hormones; I never even mention that I get cramps with the start of my shark week every month for fear that they will want me to take female hormones.  Having 38DD does make it harder to have a flat chest look, having a little more chest overall size does help hide them.  You sound like like you maybe a little older so they may sag a bit which helps to flatten with a compression vest.  Do you have a binder that fit and you like wearing?

[Aiden5150]

Thanks you all. Today was a better day, I appreciate all the supportive messages left for me. I got my hair cut which I'm pretty excited about!

MM, I'm 23 so I guess a little older. I do have a compression tank top from under works but I'm about to order a new since this one is a few years old. Plus I'm starting a tae bo work out thing that I'm really excited about.

[YinYanga]

Good to hear today went better (Hey, I know the future ...I'm THAT Good!)

There definately a look brewing there   

I always imagine how a transman would look further in transition with some nice stubble....but that's just my 'thing' when I see a sexy man

What do you plan/wish in the near future regarding looks? We all have our ideals

[Aiden5150]

Thanks. I just want people to see me and recognize me as the nerdy, videogames playing, comic book loving, tech geek guy that I feel I am.

[YinYanga]

Making good progress then. I've had a transman in my support group that went with a look that reminded me of Zachary Quinto (google him if you haven't yet) Looks pretty neat I think

[immortal gypsy]

Thanks. I just want people to see me and recognize me as the nerdy, videogames playing, comic book loving, tech geek guy that I feel I am.

If that photo was you after the hair cut. That describes you down to a T.

With doctor's I have found that if you can show them you understand the pros and cons of something, be calm and rational and don't get to emotional. The large majority of them will listen understand and respect your wishes.