Quote from: oh hai! on January 30, 2014, 03:44:50 PM
Dan,
Allow me to be blunt. Others will couch there words; I will not. If you are here legitimately to learn more about our transgender sisters and brothers I can accept and encourage that. If you are here to potentially attract a mate; please go elsewhere.
Speaking only for myself, (but not an uncommon reaction,) I am a woman through and through. I will have the same motivations, faults, strengths and aspirations as any woman. I will fight tooth and nail to attain all of them. I don't need recognazince or affirmation of gender, passability, or aesthetic appeal. I do not welcome comments to such or to any flirtatious behaviour; that is not why I come to this site.
As you have been welcomed by moderation staff and long term members, I bid a cautious welcome as well. I am a fairly new member as well having joined only last year so I must defer to their wisdom. But know that should I feel uncomfortable posting personal anecdotes, pictures, etc. I would remove myself from the site and find safe spaces elsewhere.
Wow....I apologize that my presence makes you so uncomfortable. If there are many here who share your opinion and who are just being too polite to say so, I will leave without incident. I have no intention of being an intruder here if I am perceived to be so. I must admit I felt hurt to read your post, but I can understand your feelings, especially since you have at least pointed out those things that bothered you. I appreciate you being specific enough that I can understand where you are coming from in your opinion. I feel an obligation to address what you say so that anyone here can judge for themselves concerning my intentions.
I have stated here my respect for the primary intent of this site as a safe haven and source of advice and comfort for the TG community. I will gladly leave if my presence is thought to infringe on this in any way, with no hard feelings. I was on a TS dating site a year or more ago in search of a ltr, but began to sense that I might benefit quite a bit from learning even more about the community and their issues. I did have more of the TS MTF community in mind concerning such leaning I will admit, but I am open to being more aware of the broader TG community's issues as well. I will also admit to being very lonely, hurt by my recent past, and desiring companionship, friendship being good, but hopeful for more (long term relationship) some day if I can find it. I believe that many here share these very same desires, but I recognize that dating is not why they are here. My initial posting on this thread was essentially an editing of the one I used on the TS dating site, to give me a starting point. I removed the things about what I was looking for in a partner and similar things that I felt were inappropriate for this site. Perhaps it was a mistake to start that way, but it was a convenient summary about myself which I had already written. Did I participate in a little flirting? Yes, but I tried to be humorous and tasteful, brief, and stayed well away from any boundaries, at least I thought I did so. If any such posts were offensive to anyone, then I do apologize to all. My perception was that, in those cases were my flirting occured, the fliting would not be offensive to, or unwelcome by, the recipient. I will conform to whatever the mods here tell me, including leaving, if that is deemed best for the site.
It is true, in hindsight after re-reading some of my posts, that I have praised this community a lot regarding my perceptions of how charming and caring the TG community here is. I can see how this can be construed as being insincere due to being repetitive about it, but it was sincere and I meant my words. I think that the TG community gets so much abuse from the non-TG community that I guess I thought that it would be nice for those here to experience the opposite from someone from the non-TG community for a change. Perhaps that can be encouraging if it is perceived as sincere. Perhaps you felt that I was doing so with the hidden agenda of attracting someone to me. I can understand that, but I have a lot of respect for the intelligence of those here. If I were motivated in that way then I would have realized that many here would see through such an agenda. It is this very charm, warmth, intelligence, and understanding that attracted me to go try TS dating in the past in fact, as evidence of my sincerity in my view of TG people. I was also trying GG dating sites as well at the time, so I do not have a TS fetish or curiosity, I was being open minded.
I respect the womanhood of those here, for those who view themselves as females, and also the difficult journey many of them face. I never questioned it, and did not ever think that the women here needed my recognition, affirmation, or encouragement in that regard. If I expressed the opinion that any individual was attractive here, it was sincere. I think that anyone likes to hear that about themselves if it is sincere. I do not think I was alone in doing this here, and I do think it could be a positive thing as long as it is not taken too far.
If I am ever offensive to anyone here just tell me, but please be specific so that I can correct my behavior, as I appreciate that oh hai! did so. I will excuse myself now and leave.
sincerely to all,
Dan
