Am I stupid for delaying?

[RobinGee]

I've mostly decided that I want to start babystepping towards Transition.  But I have two big stumbling blocks.  Do you think that I'm just making excuses or am I wise to wait.

First, I'm grossly obese.  I'm 200 lbs overweight and I feel like I really should slim down before starting HRT.

Second, I live in my psychotic conservative in law's house.  Moving out will takew a bunch of things, so could be a long way off.

[suzifrommd]

Robin, only you know what's right for you. But you asked my opinion.

As far as living with your inlaws, you might be wise to work first on being independent (as long as you think that's doable). It would make transitioning easier.

As far as being obese, I would suggest NOT WAITING to be thin. Too many people waste their lives away with what they'll do when they become thin, and never get there. IMO, there's no reason a heavy person can't transition.

[Adam (birkin)]

Robin, only you know what's right for you. But you asked my opinion.

As far as living with your inlaws, you might be wise to work first on being independent (as long as you think that's doable). It would make transitioning easier.

As far as being obese, I would suggest NOT WAITING to be thin. Too many people waste their lives away with what they'll do when they become thin, and never get there. IMO, there's no reason a heavy person can't transition.

I completely agree with all this. Lots of trans women start losing weight and adopting healthier lifestyles when they start hormones.

[LordKAT]

Maybe low dose to calm the beast and help motivate you. Any changes would likely be slower and not therefore not likely be noticed by your in-laws.

As to the weight loss, just start doing any activity daily and increasing it a little weekly. It can be simply climbing a set of stairs more than normally. Walk down the block every day. Any activity added to your day will make a difference.

[ConfusedHumanUK]

Not sure where your located but if you are in an area where you have a several month wait for hrt after seeking help, do that part now and start loosing weight whist you wait. Kills 2 birds with 1 stone that way

[Tori]

Weight is a red flag for treatment.

It may be medically required of you to shed some pounds.

Things like diabetes and kidney or liver problems can really interfere with the treatment options available to you. Being overweight greatly increases the odds of you eventually having some of these physical issues.

We aren't saying this because being overweight is bad, we are saying this because it may legitimately delay your ability to begin transition.

As someone who has been morbidly obese, may I suggest eating less? I swear it gives you the keys to the kingdom.

[izzy]

I completely agree with all this. Lots of trans women start losing weight and adopting healthier lifestyles when they start hormones.

I agree. You should just do a whole life style change with your transition and gradually lose the weight and keep it off. Its not worth if its going on a diet losing the weight quickly and then gaining back the weight back again.

[RobinGee]

Well thanks for the replies so far.  So it seems the consensus is caution before moving out.

[Tori]

Nothing is preventing you from looking for a doctor who could eventually help you transition. They can help you find out if there are any physical issues. Every transitioner needs a physical and a blood test before they can begin.