DBT?

[Genzen]

Has anyone had any luck using DBT to help cope with not transitioning?

[retransition]

I haven't had DBT (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy for those that aren't familiar with it) but that doesn't mean at some point I won't. My therapist and my naturopathic both thought this would be a good fit for me in working through some of the emotions related to gender dysphoria.  You probably know that a lot of DBT is based on Eastern philosophies such as Buddhism and Taoism. In my case, it was my exploration of these ancient wisdoms that got me to a place where I was no longer as obsessed with gender as I had been. The emphasis was on mindfulness and the importance of being in the present moment without clinging to thoughts that would prevent me from just enjoying now.  I lose my way from time to time but I always seem to return to these ideas and find comfort.

One of the primary skills that DBT is designed to help you cultivate is called "Radical Acceptance" which is (using Wikipedia's concise and accurate description) "Let go of fighting reality. Accept your situation for what it is."  I came to my own "Radical Acceptance" on my own, if I had gone through DBT earlier it might have helped me get there sooner. 

Reality can sometimes be very very hard and it is so tempting to try to escape it but that is not ultimately productive.  Here is my favorite Chapter in the Tao. It's not my favorite translation but it is close enough and I think fits in nicely with what DBT is all about (pretty much all of the Tao fits in I guess, but this is my favorite.)

Chapter 76

While alive, the body is soft and pliant
When dead, it is hard and rigid
All living things, grass and trees,
While alive, are soft and supple
When dead, become dry and brittle
Thus that which is hard and stiff
is the follower of death
That which is soft and yielding
is the follower of life
Therefore, an inflexible army will not win
A strong tree will be cut down
The big and forceful occupy a lowly position
While the soft and pliant occupy a higher place

[insideontheoutside]

Haven't heard of DBT before but I find it interesting that you bring up the Easter philosophies, especially Taoism, since that's one of the few things I've felt a "connection" to as far as philosophical thought goes and I've recently gotten back into thinking about it.

What's interesting is how I've been thinking about concepts such as the Tao being the natural order of things and fighting against that natural order is not just counterproductive but leads to one's "inferiors" pretty much ruling. And for me, that is what happens when I get too wrapped up in hating the reality of my physical body. Yet, I have conflicting emotions because at the end of the day, my natural state I would say has male and female aspects to it. So how do I work with this, rather than fighting against it? For one thing, reality is not a constant, which is good actually. Balance is constantly fluctuating as well. No one can be 100% of something and no one can really be out of balance for a long time before experiencing uncomfortable effects of that imbalance. And even though Taoism might seem like it promotes acceptance and non-action, that's not exactly the whole picture. "It is the practice of going against the stream not by struggling against it and thrashing about, but by standing still and letting the stream do all the work." For me, this philosophy offers a way that I can go against the stream of the gender binary without personal struggle and make allowance for balance being a fluctuation rather than a hard rule.

[retransition]

insideontheoutside that's cool that you have been finding Taoism helpful.  I do think that a lot of the "thrashing about" that many of us in the trans community experience is really unnecessary - even though as "mere mortals" we often can't see this. I think a reasonable argument can be made that all of the the time and effort we spend fixated on things like gendered pronouns, other people's opinions (where they are not truly hurtful to us) or putting our selves and our bodies at risk (either through surgeries that we may not need or potentially dangerous situations social) is not getting us any closer to a "natural gendered identity" if there is indeed such a thing.