Quote from: Pica Pica on July 10, 2007, 06:15:22 PM
Turning innate grammar into language is an important process of growing, if someone never managed to do it we would say they had learning difficulties and in some ways regard them a child. The same could be for androgynes. That because they do not have what it takes to learn gender except by rote means that they can never properly grow up. That androgyne is a name for someone in a permanent state of childhood where gender is concerned. This could also be why androgynes are prized as mediators, and listeners and such - that there is an innocence and fragility that is appreciated by other people. A man is always in competition against other men, a woman against other women, but an androgyne is not in competition. Not even in competition with other androgynes (at least I don't think so, I'd like to see it). This means an androgyne is always innocent and neutral territory. Would also explain why androgynes feel ignored or not taken seriously, because what adult takes a child all that seriously?
I very much like this. I think it's probably true. Likewise the stuff about gender-grammar aphasias and personal gender idolects. Which lead to some funny analogies -- if men 'speak' their gender in a Scot's dialect and women in a Canadian one I've got that bizzare Caledonian/Canadian brogue of James Doohan as Scotty on the old Star Trek... oh dear.
I don't think androgynes are in competition. What would we be in competition for? I guess I've encountered some pseudo-androgynes who are in competition with practically everybody, making claims that androgyny is better than any other form of gender expression and that they personally are more androgynous than anybody else, but I actually think that such people are using the term 'androgyny' to mean a feminine gender expression that violates the 'rules' of femininity and thus makes its practitioners 'more free' than other women while remaining 'better' than men. It strikes me as a fashion-phase rather than an identity. But who knows. Sometimes it is best to not analyze others, and I often wish I could get out of the habit.
It's interesting about androgynes being prized as mediators and confidants. (At least, once the potential confider has gotten over being weirded out.) This is certainly true for me. My friends value my lack of gender, it creates a safe-seeming space for them and they find it has a charm and dignity all its own. And yet it doesn't fit in with larger groups of people. I don't work well when folks start dividing themselves up into gendered groups. Yet people do often ask me for advice about their gender relationships, and I am, appearantly, useful in this capacity. In spite of the fact that I am unable to answer questions about how women think or feel. (Except physically. My male friends find my explainations about how it feels to menstruate quite useful in their relationships with their wives. But if they ask me to comment about women's additudes I can rarely say anything besides, "Don't ask me. In the battles between the sexes I remain forever the I in everybody's team.")
Also true and interesting about not being taken seriously. I don't think I come across as child-like, but maybe I do. Fairly regularly, comments about me reflect the idea that my gender-expression is not dignified at all, and that I am ridiculous. I've been hurt by this, but find that having read this thread I'm feeling better about it. I also find myself thinking of a friend of mine who is nineteen and comes across as much younger, still seeming like a child to many. Recently I was talking about my gender issues with her and she said some things that make me think that she is an androgyne and doesn't know it, and isn't likely to care if she did. She's a great person, an intellectual giant yet angelic in her innocence, truely amazing to know. Her appearance and mannerisms are usually very feminine (not womanly but girlish), yet after that conversation I find myself seeing these aspects of her as merely coincidental. I've known since she was a small child and used to think her lack of interest in sex and related topics was a child's fear of it, but it's definately grown into an adult disinterest. I think she is far more adult than people around her recognize and am interested to see how she will cope with that as time passes and she's further and further away from childhood. I wonder if I can help. I am a much colder and angrier person than she and am not sure that my own experiences will compare well enough to allow me to offer any decent advice.
