Is It Okay to Be Transphobic?

[SwooshySquish]

Hi everyone!

So, my question is, do you think it's okay to be transphobic, as long as the is no bashing involved?

I was talking to a person on a site I frequently visit, and at some point the conversation went towards trans*, and then eventually, anti-trans people (then it became anti-LGBT). The basic message was, it's okay as long as there's no bashing.

I have some quotes here, (from the people who agree)

'LGBTQ supporter here, but I accept any views as long as they aren't shoved in my face because I know nothing of a person's upbringing or community.
Like sorry to burst everyone's bubble here, but not everyone is going to conform to your 100% tolerant (haha ********) views and accept people for who they are. That's just reality. Calling the person a bigot while knowing nothing about them is, imo, bigoted.'

Actually it is okay not to be okay with LGBT people because not everyone has grown up in the same kind of environment. We can try to educate them but ultimately it's up to the person whether or not they want to change their views. So by being intolerant to intolerance you're basically becoming the kind of people you are intolerant of.

this is, btw, coming from a huge LGBT supporter

Tolerance goes both ways. If you like trans*, that's fine. If he doesn't, that's fine too. As long as neither of you are bashing each other or someone else, that's great!

Being anti or extreme of anything is wrong because it does hurt people and it is destructive to society. The point I was making is that people see this sensitive topic, and it is taken to the extreme. It is very possible to dislike or disagree with someone and still be respectful and loving. A person can still defend someone regardless of conflicting beliefs. How is this any different from a straight man fighting for gay rights?

telling someone they cannot dislike is also telling them they cannot like.

Whatever someone's views are, they have the right to have it as long as they're not hateful because of it or forcing it on someone else. Not liking trans* is different from believing they're less than humans. You can still dislike something or someone but still respect and love them. It's not so much as being a walking contradiction, but being multidimensional and knowing where your preferences, beliefs, lifestyles, etc are on the spectrum of radical to null.

So I was wondering what all of your opinions are! Do you think it's okay to be transphobic as long as there isn't any bashing? Or do you think it's not okay to be transphobic even if there isn't bashing?  I thought this would be an interesting discussion. I am so sorry if it offends anyone! I was just kinda interested in what people thought. As well as why you have that opinion.

My opinion is kind of... Mixed I guess. I mean I understand where they're coming from, but at the same time, it hurts when people don't like that part about me, even if they accept me. And disliking that part of me, and that part of others, that part that makes a lot of us a bit happier inside, and that doesn't hurt people, seems a bit, not okay, to me. But either way, I'm interested in hearing what you all think!

I really don't want to offend people.

[Adam (birkin)]

Hard to say. I'm of the opinion that everyone has a right to their private life. So, by that logic, if someone is privately transphobic, that's their business and as long as it doesn't lead to problems in my life (like they actively contribute to discrimination against me), it shouldn't matter.

But, by my same logic, if they give a crap what I do with my body, then they are too busy interfering with my life already. I really believe no one should care what another person is doing unless it is contributing to harming others.

[Jessica Merriman]

Anyone has the right to disagree with any of the GLBT grouping. It is bashing when it provokes feelings of fear, anger, depression or any other torment to the individual affected. I respect people who tell me their beliefs do not support my position, that is fine. It is when they attempt to change my view through snide comments and questioning my intelligence level I do not respect and put that in the bashing category.

[Cindy]

Hatred of any group of people for any reason is wrong. It is intolerance and will be used to justify rejection of others purely because they are different to themselves.

That is immoral.

[Hikari]

Anything that does more harm than good is wrong. How much good has transphobia or hatred of any sort done? By my value system transphobia, racism, etc are all immoral even if one does not act on those ideas.

[TerriT]

No, it's not ok. We are already victims of sensationalism and parodying. Not to mention murder. I'm not a stand up and be proud kind of girl, but I get pretty goddamned sick and tired of the way we are treated by the media and the idiots. As if we are the uniting group to pick on. "Don't want to offend this group, don't want to offend that group, hey, let's make fun of those ->-bleeped-<-s lolz."

[Jill F]

Did that need to be asked around here?  Shameless.

[timbuck2]

There are people out there who will always be disgusted and/or unsupportive of LGBT people but it's important to remember that not all of them go around making fun of or bashing that which they're against. A comment on here said something about these kind of people not existing and I'd like to disprove that right now. I have a few friends from childhood that are extremely religious and know of my transition. They do not support it and they think I am committing a sin that will cause me eternal damnation...they also call me by my proper pronouns and male name. We are friends. There are respectable people out there.

Is it wrong? Sure. But many things are wrong to different people, you have to learn to put yourself in someone elses shoes and  understand that you can not force anyone to conform to views no matter what the subject matter is. Trying to control another persons feelings and police their thoughts is just as bad.

[SwooshySquish]

Did that need to be asked around here?  Shameless.

Hi Jill, I'm sorry, I was hoping to get Trans* peoples opinions on this and why they felt that way, just as a discussion thing, I'm not trying to say it's okay to be transphobic or anything.

If it offends you or makes you upset I can ask a MOD to lock this thread, right? Because I really don't want people to be upset by this. :<

[TrannyBerniceJenkins]

What is wrong to one person may not be wrong to another.  And its amazing how so many complain about being judged or disliked but yet do the same exact thing to the ones that are doing it to them.  Just liek the transphobic people dislike ->-bleeped-<-s, ->-bleeped-<-s disliking them back is exactly the same is it not.  Now i am sure people are now gonna say its diff because they are negatively affecting my life etc.  And im not referring to those people. Forcing your opinion or beliefs on anyone in my opinion is not a persons right.  Is it wrong per say?  I am not the one who can decide what is right or wrong for anyone other then myself.  I may not agree with someone's opion on view point but to each their own.

And the ones who said that its wrong if the persons beliefs hurt you due to them disliking who you are etc. well that also goes both ways right? If its wrong for them to dislike you and it hurts your feelings, its also wrong for you to dislike them for their views cuz being a ->-bleeped-<- hurts them im sure.

[TrannyBerniceJenkins]

Did that need to be asked around here?  Shameless.

Yes it sure did. That's what the forums are about. If it bothers you then skip reading it.  Im glad it was asked and I hope they ask it again and again

[Danielle Emmalee]

What is wrong to one person may not be wrong to another.  And its amazing how so many complain about being judged or disliked but yet do the same exact thing to the ones that are doing it to them.  Just liek the transphobic people dislike ->-bleeped-<-s, ->-bleeped-<-s disliking them back is exactly the same is it not.  Now i am sure people are now gonna say its diff because they are negatively affecting my life etc.  And im not referring to those people. Forcing your opinion or beliefs on anyone in my opinion is not a persons right.  Is it wrong per say?  I am not the one who can decide what is right or wrong for anyone other then myself.  I may not agree with someone's opion on view point but to each their own.

And the ones who said that its wrong if the persons beliefs hurt you due to them disliking who you are etc. well that also goes both ways right? If its wrong for them to dislike you and it hurts your feelings, its also wrong for you to dislike them for their views cuz being a ->-bleeped-<- hurts them im sure.

So....a black person hating a racist is just as bad as the racist hating the black person?  I think not.

[TrannyBerniceJenkins]

So....a black person hating a racist is just as bad as the racist hating the black person?  I think not.

How so? As long as the racist is not doing anything detrimental to the black. Thats a bit hypocritical to say the black is allowed to hate and its ok for them to hate but the racist cannot. You cannot have it only one way.  Now what they both decide to do with the feelings of hatred is another issue. but just having the feelings of hatred is the same. 

[Danielle Emmalee]

It's not hypocritical because their hate is discriminatory based on something that is not a choice, whereas the black person's hate is discriminatory based on something that is based on ignorance, which is a choice.

[suzifrommd]

It's not OK to deny another person the rights, respect, and dignity due them as a human being or to encourage others to do that. It's also not OK to spread lies or misinformation about any person or group.

It is OK to have whatever beliefs you hold provided you don't do the two things above.

[Calder Smith]

I don't care what people believe as long as it isn't shoved in my face or those people use their agenda to spread lies about LGBT people or deny their rights. I think anyone who wastes their time worrying about what people do with their OWN bodies, instead of worrying about bigger problems like child abuse or something like that, is an idiot but whatever.

[Tristan]

Idk? Is it ok. To me I feel like it's not. But to people who only know one way of thinking and can/won't take the time to understand us. I can understand why they have a problem with us. I mean we are limped in with different groups and there seem to be a lot of myths about those of us who do transition. I guess maybe theirs two sides to every story?

[Kade1985]

Hm... That's kind of tough for me to answer. I mean tough because I tend to lean towards respecting others and how they may feel about things. If they aren't trying to bash me then I don't want to force them to resent me by saying why they should accept what I am (Be it trans, or lesbian, or gay, or that I like nerdy things, or what have you). I mean trying to force acceptance on others can do harm just like some people who are transphobic (or even homophobic) is like them trying to force us to be "normal". If they don't accept I'm ok with that. If they're "phobic" (I use quotes cause I've never really noticed a phobic tendency in these departments as much as I just see hatred or intolerance) that's also ok with me, as long as they aren't purposely trying to go out of their way to do harm to me or others like me.

If they still let me live my life the way I think I need to, despite their lack of acceptance, then that's all I can ask of them. They aren't doing me any more harm at that point than I am to the rest of society by being who or what I am. I don't like to force people to accept things they just don't want to. In the end it just causes more resentment towards our community than it does any good.

Hopefully that all makes sense.

[Zumbagirl]

I say no. The whole history of humankind is riddled with people who used their phobia or lack of understanding of someone different as an excuse for all sort of atrocities. How much more do we need? If people who are the most fearful of trans people met some in real life or had to work with one all the time, then maybe they would change their minds. Everything that can be said today about LGBT can be said about some other group long ago. I'd really like to see the human race show some signs of evolution and growth instead of clinging to irrational fears and superstitions.

[Oriah]

I say it is.  I've heard tons of anti-trans arguments "it's against nature" "it's against god" "you're just confused" "you'll never be a REAL woman" et cetera, ad nauseum.

Sure it's irritating, but it's kind of whatever.  Where I live freedom of speech is (theoretically) protected.....  and that's a right I firmly believe in and wish to see upheld across the board, even if that speech is being used against me.