So I got into it with my dad today..it was horrible!!

[BlossomRevane]

                Well to start things off I really tend to lean towards atheism. You could call me agnostic I suppose, but I strongly disbelieve the bible! Anyways my Dad already knew of my disbelief in his religion. So today when my uncle came over I was talking to him about the bible and I told him I just don't believe in it! Somehow him and my Dad got to talking and the subject came up! My uncle left and when it did things got really ugly! He approached me and with a harsh voice was just yelling at me about how ungrateful I am for all God has done for me. He kept on and on trying to impose Christian apologetics on me which doesn't convince me, as I have studied my position quite thoroughly. Anytime I would try to get a word in he would yell at me to shut up and what not! I did manage to get some points through and things got violent, this is not a first either! I respond with logical debate very kindly and he pushes me around and tells me to stand up and fight him! His stances are really delusional and just not realistic he is indeed an extremist in the full extent of the word. My Mom eventually got things settled between us but she takes his side a lot of the time as well as my right to my own beliefs although she wants me to be like him!

        Anyways I don't know what to do anymore, It is all way to much for me I've been crying most of the day! There is just so much wrong with this picture. This is not the first time it has happened but it is the worst that it has ever been. I didn't even get angry with him and promoted peace and compromise but he wasn't having it! Theres just no way I can even begin HRT while I am living here.

       Please just give me some advice because this mental prison is just leading me to thoughts of an unnecessary death that I really want to find a solution to instead! I have lived with this my whole life! My whole family is pretty extreme!

[BlossomRevane]

=( I guess the atheist board here isn't very active?

[King Malachite]

The atheist board is usually very active, but I don't think a lot of people got online around the time this was posted.

I'm sorry that you had to be treated like that.  My advice to you would be to move out as soon as you can.  I read in one of your other post tha you were concerned about finances.  Is there anyway you would sign up to get public housing?

[Sephirah]

Anytime I would try to get a word in he would yell at me to shut up and what not! I did manage to get some points through and things got violent, this is not a first either! I respond with logical debate very kindly and he pushes me around and tells me to stand up and fight him! His stances are really delusional and just not realistic he is indeed an extremist in the full extent of the word.

This suggests to me that the subject of the confrontation you're having with him isn't the most important thing to him. It seems to me more like he wants to exert his authority over you and is daring you to question him. It strikes me more about control than religion. He doesn't so much want to prove he is right, but that he can make you admit he is right. He uses this subject to try and dominate you.

Sweetie, what happens if you don't provide the immovable object to his irresistible force? Is he still as fired up if you don't fight him?

There's an old saying - don't fight fire with fire... firefighters use water. Delusional people, more often than not, can't be argued with, since they draw on even more delusional arguments to counter. Nothing is beyond the reach of skewed reasoning and logic. No matter what the conversation subject is.

Sometimes the most disarming answer to a potential argument is to just say something like "you're entitled to your opinion, whether I agree with it or not. I'm glad you believe in something." And smile. At least, that is what I would do. I've found that often times it leaves people opening and closing their mouths like fish out of water because they were all fired up for an argument and suddenly there's no argument to have.

Just as he isn't likely to convert you to his way of thinking, the same seems to be the case in reverse.

[Jamie D]

                Well to start things off I really tend to lean towards atheism. You could call me agnostic I suppose, but I strongly disbelieve the bible! Anyways my Dad already knew of my disbelief in his religion. So today when my uncle came over I was talking to him about the bible and I told him I just don't believe in it! Somehow him and my Dad got to talking and the subject came up! My uncle left and when it did things got really ugly! He approached me and with a harsh voice was just yelling at me about how ungrateful I am for all God has done for me. He kept on and on trying to impose Christian apologetics on me which doesn't convince me, as I have studied my position quite thoroughly. Anytime I would try to get a word in he would yell at me to shut up and what not! I did manage to get some points through and things got violent, this is not a first either! I respond with logical debate very kindly and he pushes me around and tells me to stand up and fight him! His stances are really delusional and just not realistic he is indeed an extremist in the full extent of the word. My Mom eventually got things settled between us but she takes his side a lot of the time as well as my right to my own beliefs although she wants me to be like him!

        Anyways I don't know what to do anymore, It is all way to much for me I've been crying most of the day! There is just so much wrong with this picture. This is not the first time it has happened but it is the worst that it has ever been. I didn't even get angry with him and promoted peace and compromise but he wasn't having it! Theres just no way I can even begin HRT while I am living here.

       Please just give me some advice because this mental prison is just leading me to thoughts of an unnecessary death that I really want to find a solution to instead! I have lived with this my whole life! My whole family is pretty extreme!

Your father is a bully.  Ask him whether he thinks Jesus would have made threats and tried to start a fight.  Ask you father whether he thinks he is living a Christ-like life, and if his conduct with you is an example of that.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora BR,

Remember : "A bigot's mind is like the pupil of the eye-the more light one shines upon it-the more it will contract !"

Due to your dad's unstable  mental condition, it would seem that you have two choices (desperate times call for desperate measures)

1) If you depend upon your parents for your upkeep then..."To keep the peace" you might need to tell a white lie...tell your dad that you haven't given up on god but you have been thinking about what he said, but have found some of the bible's contents a little confusing, and you need time to work things out for yourself...(once you're financially able spread your wings and fly the coop)...

2) If you are financially independent (are working or able to find work) then pack your bags and move out of this toxic environment...

You have to do whatever it takes to survive even if it means telling little white lies to keep the peace (and your sanity)...

Metta Zenda

[BlossomRevane]

This suggests to me that the subject of the confrontation you're having with him isn't the most important thing to him. It seems to me more like he wants to exert his authority over you and is daring you to question him. It strikes me more about control than religion. He doesn't so much want to prove he is right, but that he can make you admit he is right. He uses this subject to try and dominate you.

Sweetie, what happens if you don't provide the immovable object to his irresistible force? Is he still as fired up if you don't fight him?

There's an old saying - don't fight fire with fire... firefighters use water. Delusional people, more often than not, can't be argued with, since they draw on even more delusional arguments to counter. Nothing is beyond the reach of skewed reasoning and logic. No matter what the conversation subject is.

Sometimes the most disarming answer to a potential argument is to just say something like "you're entitled to your opinion, whether I agree with it or not. I'm glad you believe in something." And smile. At least, that is what I would do. I've found that often times it leaves people opening and closing their mouths like fish out of water because they were all fired up for an argument and suddenly there's no argument to have.

Just as he isn't likely to convert you to his way of thinking, the same seems to be the case in reverse.

Well the thing about it is he doesn't even want me to have a single word in at all! Even if it is politely informing that I respect his beliefs, he will still seem offended. We don't talk at all to each other and when we do its usually religious nonsense.

Jamie I agree he is a bully but I tried those tactics in the past and they get him angry. He will usually justify it with "Well God has a much worse temper than mine" or various other excuses.

And Anatta that is something I really have been considering. Seems like one of the best options as much as I don't want to lie about believing. Its something I actually asked my Mom if I should do lol.