Please accept my apology

[Nero]

I want to apologize to everyone who participated in or saw my thread yesterday. Something I read set me off (not here) and it was really just meant to be more of a vent rather than to start an argument. I usually don't post much anymore as forum admin out of fear of saying the wrong thing (which happened last night), but that kind of leaves me without a way to vent or get support when I need it. It's a delicate balance and I don't always do it so well. I usually weigh my posts here in effort to try to avoid causing misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Sometimes I fail.

Obviously I have a lot of pain and anger surrounding the topic last night. Part of the odd way I process things is that I end up focusing one a small detail of something and being angry and ranting about that because it's easier somehow than focusing on what's really wrong. Especially when there is no answer and no help for what is really wrong in this case. I feel so helpless and outraged. There's no way to fix it. Since I'm not the victim, I don't even know how to process it or make sense of it. It's not something I talk about and it's not something I wanted to talk about here. Somehow during my ranting, it slipped out.

I never wanted to hurt or trigger anyone with that thread or minimize someone's experiences or anything. I've been very sick for weeks and just not at my best lately. I'm truly sorry to everyone who happened upon that thread. I shouldn't have made it. I did have something I wanted to discuss that bothers me when it always inevitably gets brought up during assault discussions. But I didn't articulate it very well. And it's not worth causing hurt feelings over. I'm extremely sorry to everyone here. Please accept my apology.

[Eva Marie]

FA - you are a long time member and I've watched your posts over the years - you are very level headed and not prone to jumping off into strange directions or making ill advised posts.

So you made a post that maybe shouldn't have been made? Heck, we're all human here and we have feelings about things and we are all subject to not so good judgement at times. I know that i've made some bad posts here, but every time I make one I learn from it, and I learn something about myself from it. Hopefully that will be your take away as well dear.

You apologized - time to move on and not beat yourself up, ok?

[Jessica Merriman]

As the Queen and her Royal Majesty of "I Shouldn't have posted that", stop already! You are a bedrock here of knowledge and respect, so take it easy and relax because there is nothing to apologize over. If you ever need to talk, vent, etc., PLEASE PM me, OK? I am here for you, just as you are for us.

[ThePhoenix]

([{ FA }]) <--- this is a drawing of FA getting a hug because my arms aren't long enough to reach him for real.

No apology needed to me at least.  The pain was obvious.  And honestly, the only thing I wish was different was that we could have talked about that pain, instead of the politics around it all, so maybe we could help with it, or at least provide an outlet. 

I know how it is to be in that situation of needing an outlet but lacking one because you're the leader for the one you need.  I experience that offline all the time.  I'm on Susan's because that's my situation.  I need support and an outlet, and offline not much is available to me because I'm the moderator or the administrator or expected to be some other kind of leader.  It's a kind of lonely thing.  So if you ever need someone, you're always welcome to send me a PM.  Heavens, I'll even give you special permission that you can use my registered email address, which is the one I actually use, not a special spam catching address.

Trying to support one another is the least that those of us who support the trans* community can do for one another. 

[Ltl89]

Hey FA,

Rape/sexual abuse is a horribly triggering and emotional topic for many.  Given the fact that you have directly been impacted such acts, it's understandable why you reacted or behaved as strongly as you did.  Rape and it's effects are personal to you. It's personal to many.  No one should get mad at anyone other than the criminals who inflict pain on others and leave the victims as well as their families/friends to deal with the chaos they have created.   And when people are hurt, sometimes they need to share their pain.  That doesn't make you or anyone else a bad person.  It makes you human.  And the fact that you are hurting so deeply about your loved one's situation should be enough for everyone here without the need to justify or apologize.  It's okay.  And I'm sorry your family and you are dealing with this.  No one deserves to go through this.  And should you ever need someone to talk to, you know you have a lot of friends here that do care.  Please don't feel down. 

[Miss_Bungle1991]

FA - you are a long time member and I've watched your posts over the years - you are very level headed and not prone to jumping off into strange directions or making ill advised posts.

So you made a post that maybe shouldn't have been made? Heck, we're all human here and we have feelings about things and we are all subject to not so good judgement at times. I know that i've made some bad posts here, but every time I make one I learn from it, and I learn something about myself from it. Hopefully that will be your take away as well dear.

You apologized - time to move on and not beat yourself up, ok?

I totally agree.

Well said.

[LordKAT]

You have as much right to an opinion and to vent as anyone else does. I saw no problem with your thread.

[sad panda]

I don't know what happened but hope you're ok :c