This is just what I'm thinking now. Might makes sense, might not. Maybe very abstract to some people, maybe not! I just want to write/post/upload this!!
I want to look feminine and beautiful in real life, BUT....
If I make a very beautiful character in an open-ended roleplaying game (Skyrim, New Vegas, MMORPG games, etc), I play the character for loooooong periods of time staring at her and making her even more prettier, I start thinking this character is me, then I look at my face in the mirror and I feel really bad that I can't achieve the perfection I have created in-game.
Sooo... what if I make an ugly female character so this way when I look at the mirror, I feel much better about myself? And also have a laugh!
skip to 1:20
Meet Lily. She's a sweet old woman stuck in a monstrous body. Replace sweet old woman with yourself (if you're transitioning) and monstrous body with a body that you don't want to have a part in. Sounds familiar doesn't it? skip to 6:10 in the video for the emotional part
"Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?"
"Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?"
I don't have anything against beauty.... it's just when reality shows its ugly head. If I can pass I can pass, if I can't then I can't and I have to have strong self-acceptance for who I am. Even if I can pass, it is but a temporary condition in youth and eventually I will grow old. What then will I think of myself? How will I deal with society viewing me as an old woman?
Thoughts? Comments? Would you ever want to make an ugly female character or stay with the pretty female characters?
