Do I have to give up everything I enjoyed when I was wearing my ugly man-mask?

[Androgynous_Machine]

I just started transition, and my major question is there are some things I genuinely enjoy and don't want to quit.  Things like

Football, huge fan. SKOL VIKINGS!
I love to ice fish and fish.
I like to shoot my glocks.
I am a amateur astronomer, by "amateur" i mean I have a very expensive telescope.  I do have some stunning photos of the Andromeda galaxy, most of the planets (finding the outer most ones is extremely difficult and time-consuming), and some moons.
I play StarCraft II  and Magic the Gathering.  Fun fact, a pro-level StarCraft II player is a MtF transgender that goes by the (assumed) pseudonym Scarlet.

Now I know plenty of ciswomen who enjoy these things, so my intuition is no, but is this something that would raise flags with my therapist? I mean I am into a lot more feminine stuff, like knitting, cross-stitching, have been making my own clothes for over two decades, and cooking (the fore two I learned when I was 8 or so).

If it means giving up my fun stuff to transition I will, and happily so, but I don't want to change what's on the inside too much, just what's on the outside.

-AM

[LordKAT]

You don't have to give up any hobbies, likes, dislikes, habits or anything else. You find yourself liking some things more and others less, but that is normal life.


Psst, It never helped my typing skills either.

[Cindy]

Of course not! There are no gender rules about hobbies, activity or jobs.

Your therapist would probably fall asleep if you brought them up! Unless they had a similar hobby.

[Joanna Dark]

I'll be honest: You shouldn't transition if you like the Vikings. Next thing you'll say is your a Timberwoves fan and maybe even have a Kirby Pucket rookie card. Oh wait, that's me. Sorry. But yeah if you like football you are def not trans. You must be 100 percent feminine. So I guess you'll just have to suffer some more lol

In all seriousness, I agree with the above posters, simply do no tell your therpaist if you think he or she can not be trusted or is in gatekeeping mode. The name of the game is to get hormones and if you have to lie about somthing silly, do it.

I've been on HRT for almost a year now and I can tell you I do not like some things I used to like, one of them being football. But that's also political cause I'm sick of all the rapists, murderers and thugs in the game even though most players are good guys. I think I just cant stand violence anymore. I used to like violent films. Now, I can barely stand them and have to turn away sometimes cause It makes me ill. Weird, huh?

But, Minnesota is a pretty progressive state on these issues, so I think you'll be fine.

BTW, isn't it so pretty and awesome seeing the rings of Saturn. I am a amateur astronomer myself. Actaually, I was going to puruse a PhD in Astrophysics at one point but then I remembered I hate math and am all about the vocab.

Happy fishing!

[kathyk]

Oh my.  Why would you give up personal interests during transition?  I've had to delay a few things, and put some stuff aside until after SRS, but:

1. I have to follow the 49'ers and Raiders.  And the Detroit Redwings.
2. Sorry, I don't fish, but I work on cars.
3. I've been a big collector of antique and modern firearms.  I'll be giving up my Federal Firearms License due to seeing a psychiatrist during transition, but my collection is still in the safes.  And I love to shoot the firearms I own.
4. Astronomy?  I take a more subtle approach as an observer.  Stargazing, watching the Aurora Borealis.  And of course reading the things my niece writes about her involvement in physics and astronomy.

So NO, don't give up anything.  It's who you are.

[Androgynous_Machine]

Thanks so much, I don't know if this therapist is in gatekeeping mode and I don't want him to delay what I think is a late transition (I'm 32).  I got into most of this stuff because I found a strange solidarity amongst nerds.  They tend to be less judgemental about things so I could be shy, slightly feminine, and not have to worry about "Are you a ->-bleeped-<-got?"

The guns were from 10 years in the Navy, I have been interested in space since I was a kid, and fishing was about the only thing me and my father saw eye to eye on.

I'm actually really happy he didn't go freak-out mode on me when I told him I was transsexual.  He cried of course from the initial shock, but he was about the last person I thought would come around.  He's so virile and tough, I thought he was going to slap the taste out of my mouth.  I was equally shocked when he said that if it made me happy then he's got my back.

I'll be honest: You shouldn't transition if you like the Vikings. Next thing you'll say is your a Timberwoves fan and maybe even have a Kirby Pucket rookie card. Oh wait, that's me. Sorry. But yeah if you like football you are def not trans. You must be 100 percent feminine. So I guess you'll just have to suffer some more lol

In all seriousness, I agree with the above posters, simply do no tell your therpaist if you think he or she can not be trusted or is in gatekeeping mode. The name of the game is to get hormones and if you have to lie about somthing silly, do it.

I've been on HRT for almost a year now and I can tell you I do not like some things I used to like, one of them being football. But that's also political cause I'm sick of all the rapists, murderers and thugs in the game even though most players are good guys. I think I just cant stand violence anymore. I used to like violent films. Now, I can barely stand them and have to turn away sometimes cause It makes me ill. Weird, huh?

But, Minnesota is a pretty progressive state on these issues, so I think you'll be fine.

BTW, isn't it so pretty and awesome seeing the rings of Saturn. I am a amateur astronomer myself. Actaually, I was going to puruse a PhD in Astrophysics at one point but then I remembered I hate math and am all about the vocab.

Happy fishing!

Seeing what I have seen through a telescope all these years has left no doubt in my mind there is a perfect creator, who that creator is remains the only mystery.  Saturn pales in comparison to the beauty and magnificence of our Sun.  Especially when you get to see it in different waves of light.  It is almost as if you can feel the power through your eyes.  But yes, Saturn is breathtaking as well.  Lately I've been looking for asteroids in the belt between Mars and Jupiter.  Asteroids are a pain to find due to their small size, low reflectability, and the great distances between them.  Contrary to Hollywood, the average distance between asteroids is ~1 million miles.

MN, to my surprise, was one of the first states to place laws that criminalized hire-discrimination against transsexuals. 

-AM

[April Lee]

For years I ran from myself by trying to be as masculine as I could possibly be. This involved a lot of hyper masculine hobbies and interests. Some of those things interest me little now, but some I still enjoy. By the way, I also happen to be a Viking fan.

[Androgynous_Machine]

Actually, what did surprise me the most - was that there are people who still play StarCraft .

Oh StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty released a few years ago and StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm (Expansion) released last year IIRC.

I love Kerrigan, such a strong woman.

-AM

[Aina]

Oh StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty released a few years ago and StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm (Expansion) released last year IIRC.

I love Kerrigan, such a strong woman.

-AM

Such a strong, alien-hybrid woman...she scares me o.o;

[Androgynous_Machine]

Such a strong, alien-hybrid woman...she scares me o.o;

I'll take that over the normal oversexualization and or weakness they usually give females in videogames.


-AM

[blink]

Definitely not. Like someone else already said, a person's interests and hobbies are an important part of who they are. Isn't the whole point of transition to live more truly as yourself?

In a lot of ways I'm a regular guy to the point of being boring, but I'm into crafts. Not talking woodcarving with a chainsaw here, either, but the kind of crafts Martha Stuart might think are too froo-froo. No way will I give up my crafting just because some people might think it's "unmanly" - just won't mention it to people that might cause problems for me over it.

[Hikari]

If your hobbies raise flags with your therapist, then perhaps it would be wise to look into another therapist. There is no doubt that gender is a factor in who is likely to get into a hobby, but I hardly think that should matter as to who actually enjoys a hobby.

I would beware any gatekeeper who wants to push stereotypes onto you, women are not stereotypes, and neither are men, society has some expectations and one can pay a price for breaking them (My cismale friends love to rip on one of their group who knits, and before I told them I was TG would rip on me for croqueting) but it should always be up to you if you want to pay the price that society wants for being a bit different. The price usually isn't very high to go against societal expectations, in MMOs I deal with casual misogyny, which annoys me, but if someone doesn't want to take me seriously due to gender, well then that is their loss.

What I am getting at is you are who you are, and you like what you like. What you like may change as your perspective on things does which is normal for anyone TG/TS or not; but it should be your choice what you do or do not like. Just be prepared to be treated as an inferior to men in hobbies that men dominate, though the majority of men won't go out of their way to view you as inferior enough will to make you notice.

[Joanna Dark]

Joanna, You know that sarcasm is sometimes quite difficult to pick up on internetz?

*thread derailed* I know it is hard to pick up on sometimes and I bet people have taken some things I have said the wrong way as I am just a very sarcastic person. Oh wells.

* Thread rerailed* Sorry for the delay, all aboard. Jeez, Im a dork.

[suzifrommd]

If it means giving up my fun stuff to transition I will, and happily so, but I don't want to change what's on the inside too much, just what's on the outside.

-AM

AM, there's almost an assumption here that there are some "rules" to transition that you need to follow.

Your transition doesn't need to follow anyone's rules other than your own. There are no rules except the ones you create for yourself, right?

Thanks so much, I don't know if this therapist is in gatekeeping mode and I don't want him to delay what I think is a late transition (I'm 32).

If your therapist tells you to be anyone but yourself, you need to change therapists. No therapist should be telling you that. Anyone who will, does not understand transition.

[Just Shelly]

Do what you like!! Sounds like you are a diverse individual. I was a big football fan but started to get away from being a big fan....just didn't have the motivation or time. This was before transition but during I just had even less time and motivation. The one reason being is that I didn't have anyone to talk about it with anymore! I laugh now when guys at work talk about football and I try to chime in and I seem to be invisible.....boy if they only knew how much I knew about football!!

I still have football games on during Sunday and during the summer I have golf on!! I still golf and boy is it so much better.....I always wanted to golf from the women's tees....or should I say should have! I still don't get out more than once or twice a year though....no time!! or money!

You shouldn't have to avoid saying anything to your therapist....that's what their there for!! I had the opposite thing happen. My therapist was to pro-transition I needed to hear about why I shouldn't do what I am doing. I finally asked him why he was being too supportive....he told me I could tell you all the cons but you would still feel like you do! He was right.

I did eventually go to another therapist not specializing or knowing much about TG issues....the reason being is because most of the struggles I was having (and still have) were more about what other women struggle with or people in general. Sure it didn't help that I was trans but it wasn't the sole reason for my struggles anymore!

Now try and do a job that is primarily done by males and see if you can be taken seriously....apparently I now don't know what I am doing! This has caused me not to like and enjoy my profession like I use too. Its not as much I feel I shouldn't be doing this because I am female now....there is a part of that, but it's more because I can't physically and its not enjoyable going from being perceived as an expert to now being viewed as something I do as hobby!

[nikkit72]

If you find your therapist to have a sexist attitude based on stereotypes, then they have no business providing gender based therapy in my opinion. You have the right to do whatever hobby you want within the confines of the law and common decency regardless of what gender you are. So, fire yer guns, shout at the TV when your football team is losing and go knit a scarf. 

[Michelle69]

The violent movie thing has been bothering me for years. I am watching Last of the Mohicans right now. Waaaaay too violent, but what a love story!
I have hunting guns but no longer hunt. When I was a teenager I shot a doe through the spine with a bow. She could move her front legs and she dragged herself into a thicket. I couldn't get to her so I went back to the house to get my rifle and the tractor. I could hear her scream almost the whole mile and a half back to the house. It about killed me and I never hunted again. I spent many years in the military and work in private security. I can't be a Captain and there are many high paying assignments I can't do because I will not carry a firearm.
Starcraft is still huge and the very best can make a lot of money at it. I don't play but have a friend who does. I was more into Warcraft III. I played MTG for over a decade but quit when many of my friends moved away. Did win a pro tour qualifier once, couldn't go because of work. Never was able to duplicate the feat so it really is all about luck.
I will NEVER give up on the Eagles! I've watched them and cheered them on since I was big enough to pick up a football. That wont change when my parts do.
I only have three rules:
Take responsibility for yourself.
Don't do anything to hurt anyone else.
Give back. (To clarify since everyone always asks-The universe gives so freely, I think it's our responsibility to give to and do for those less fortunate.)
If you want to do it, and it doesn't violate the three, I say do it and be happy. Your parts and sexual orientation should have nothing to do with it.

[Jill F]

I'm completely with Jennifer Finney Boylan here.

Same monkeys, different barrel.

I might have laid some things on a bit thick, but I'm still the sports fan and guitar junkie I always was.

I just used to avoid "chick flicks", shopping and cooking because they were dysphoria triggers. 

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Now I know plenty of ciswomen who enjoy these things, so my intuition is no, but is this something that would raise flags with my therapist? I mean I am into a lot more feminine stuff, like knitting, cross-stitching, have been making my own clothes for over two decades, and cooking (the fore two I learned when I was 8 or so).

If it means giving up my fun stuff to transition I will, and happily so, but I don't want to change what's on the inside too much, just what's on the outside.

No therapist would ask you to do something like give up the things that you like because they are too "masculine". If they do, they are an idiot and deserve to have their license revoked.

You do whatever makes you happy. That includes hobbies and the way that you dress. Myself, I like certain things that are supposedly "masculine" (whatever that hell that really means) such as Death Metal music and Harsh Noise music. I never wear make up, dresses, skirts, heels or any of that crap. I don't like it and it isn't me at all. I tend to dress very plain with women's jeans, sneakers and plain tops.

You keep doing what you like. Don't worry about someone denying you an HRT letter because of who are and what you like to do.

[Tori]

Also, if you are near the Twin Cities, or any other largish towns, you probably have access to an informed concent doctor or seven. I am all for therapy, I just do not like putting my choices and personal strength in the hands of a therapist. You should be able to get your blood tested and start HRT without a therapist's permission. That will make things easier all around, as it will show your therapist you are the type of football loving, gloc packing, amateur astronomer that can do things without having her hand held at every step of the way.

Your question in the title line made me smile. If it were true, and we'd have to drop all masculine habits and hobbies in order to properly transition, most of us still would, but it is beyond OK to just be yourself, do what you enjoy. As others have said, some hobbies may change over time, I actually think this is due to time management, getting done up and made up, having your hair did, shoe shopping... etc. and you may find these new time killers become new hobbies, and you just don't have as much time for Starcraft, you know?