Not wanting therapy...

[FilaFord]

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[Sarah Rose]

The 1st session.. go in fully dressed, make up and all.
Be very blunt about why you are there and what you want, I've heard stories of people getting their letter in just two sessions.

No promises but if you can convince or stun them on the first go you'll have a much easier time... that's what I plan to do.

[TessaMarie]

The single most important thing that will matter the most will be your level of honesty with yourself & with your therapist.  Any therapist who thinks you may be hiding something either from yourself or from them (or both) is likely to be unclear about your motives & may hold back from making any diagnosis.  This is not the 20th century (thankfully), we do not have to present a perfect lie in order to get treatment (in many parts of the world - some places do still seem to be stuck in earlier times).

Note:  I live in Philly, where we have the Mazzoni Centre.  PA allows Informed Consent for HRT & Mazzoni uses that, so there is no requirement for any letter from a therapist, doc, whomever.  If you happen to live in a part of the world that still demands that "perfect story" from 20th century thinking, then ignore everything I say & do what Sarah said.

I would suggest going to the therapist with a presentation you are comfortable with (eg: I am still too uncomfortable to present female even after 7 months on E). 

I have presented male at every therapy appointment.  At my first session (with my wife) I was even wearing a bushy goatee & sideburns.  The therapist had to work a little to get me to shave them (my internal transphobia level is kinda high).  Granted, the prompt to call for an appointment was an ER visit caused by self-medding.  That may have made a difference with how the therapist dealt with me.

I was recommended to make an appointment for HRT after 6-7 weeks.

Much of how things go will depend on where you live.  Check to see if your state/country allows Informed Consent.  If it does, then no therapist is required.  If not, then find out exactly what hoops you will need to go through to get to where you need to get to.

Best of luck

Tessa


PS:  I am still seeing my gender therapist regularly (down to every 2 weeks since the start of this year), but by now we are spending most of the time dealing with issues other than my gender dysphoria.  Hiding so thoroughly from myself for 38 years left me with a bit of emotional baggage that has been proving difficult to shed.

[JessieBirdie]

I don't think anyone can blame you for your impatience in this matter.  At least you're not stuck in the same situation as alot of other older folks I've seen on this site (stuck between choosing their marriage/family and transition).  Your wife has decided it for you--tbh if she truly understands how you're feeling and has trouble relating to women romantically, I can visualize that she might have your best interests in mind despite how drastic her actions might seem.

About all therapists being kinda useless, I can understand.  I dunno, it's just whenever I walk out of therapy even if I thought I talked about something with some real weight or meaning about it, my situation and level of action never improved.  I dunno, maybe it's more about changing your mindset to adapt to how your feeling than to understanding why you're feeling what you are feeling.  So, I suppose you can just look at the therapist like a gatekeeper of sorts.

[FilaFord]

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[Jessica Merriman]

I didn't want to go to therapy as well. As a Paramedic I am very versed in the treatments, medications and administrations and all the pertinent facts for each one. I finally did go to therapy and he brought up some things I had not considered which could have doomed my "Informed Consent" HRT and life afterward. I now plan on seeing him regularly even after HRT maybe even post SRS. I find new things every week to think and plan for. The right therapist can help with other things than an HRT letter, they can give valuable life advice as well. Please don't just blow it off as a means to HRT. They can help with far more than that.

[Khalysta]

I didn't want it either.  I tried one of the transgender counselors and found them kinda pushy which set me back a bit.  Then I specifically looked for LGBT friendly psychologists and lucked out with mine.  She did a lot of interesting little things I didn't think of to make sure it's what I wanted.  It's also nice to just have a coach to push you along if you stall or delve into issues you might have.  I was also resistant to drugs but she sent me to a psychiatrist who does a good job too and everything is under control.  I think the hardest part was finding and endo that would do it and that I was comfortable with.  Then my psychologist sent a note confirming it all and I signed my life away for it but it all worked out in the end.  I still see my psychologist weekly.

If you have decent insurance the shrinks aren't all that bad.  You have to get set your mind on the end goal and know its a journey of many steps.  Once the psychiatrist dialed in the dosage though after a few sessions anxiety was way down, confidence was up and the introvert could actually talk   So give it a shot.

Like another person said you don't technically need therapy.  Some endocrinologists or transgender clinics work on informed consent.  You essentially waive all liabilities and acknowledge that you will change and they will do it.  There is a lot to deal with though and I would recommend a therapist anyways.

[Cindy]

A good therapist is like a beautician.

You never knew how much you needed their help, and how nice it is to go to one you trust.

My therapist is no longer a therapist, she is a friend who cares about me.

[kelly_aus]

I didn't really want therapy either - I knew who I was and what I wanted.. That said, my therapist has been kinda useful to have - apart from the obvious HRT referral.. He was very handy last year when my GF died.. He's been handy to offload a lifetime's worth of baggage I didn't want to carry around any more.. He's enabled me to admit to some things about my past without shame or guilt - that alone made him worthwhile..

A good therapist is like a beautician.

You never knew how much you needed their help, and how nice it is to go to one you trust.

My therapist is no longer a therapist, she is a friend who cares about me.

Very true, Cindy.. Even if mine seems to be a somewhat absent friend recently..

[EllieM]

Fila...
you say that you don't want to see a counselor, that you had been in therapy for several years previously and that your anxiety issues remained unresolved, yet, you open with your recent discovery. My first reaction to this apparent paradox was: girl, you have just pointed an accusing finger at the underlying cause of your anxiety.

This old girl's advice: one step at a time. You know your history. You know what you are. You don't need a dog and pony show to get what you need. If you want some interim release, try wearing lingerie under your guy clothes. My thearpist was ready to write my letter after three sessions, but I wasn't ready to go there then. Eventually, I did ask for the letter. I have been with the same therapist for five years. 

Are you leaving your job by choice?

[JordanBlue]

I see my therapist on the 6th of February, and I already have the name of a doctor in my area that does not require a letter of recommendation to begin HRT.

If you have found a Dr. willing to prescribe hormones w/o letter from a therapist, that is almost unheard of.  IMO, you need to see the therapist with an open mind.  But make sure the therapist is very knowledgeable on gender issues or you'll be wasting your time.

[TaoRaven]

If you have found a Dr. willing to prescribe hormones w/o letter from a therapist, that is almost unheard of.  IMO, you need to see the therapist with an open mind.  But make sure the therapist is very knowledgeable on gender issues or you'll be wasting your time.

http://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/932389/Trans/Stepping%20Forward%20-%20Informed%20Consent%20Clinics.pdf

Here is a list of doctors across the country who will prescribe with no letter. More are added regularly.

I myself have never seen a therapist for HRT. I simply got the lab work done, had a couple appointments with the Doctor, and got a prescription.

Some people do benefit from therapy, but IMO it should be a choice, not a requirement.

[MaryXYX]

I recently found out that I was transgender at the ripe age of 29.

Do you mind - seven of my children are older than you!

The problem is that my wife hates it and does not want me to transition, so we are going to be getting a divorce regardless of my decision to transition.  My son is three years old and obviously I have worries about how my family life will continue after I begin HRT.

These is no way this can be anything other than painful, but it will set you free to be the woman you know you really are.

... and get vocal feminzation surgery.  I think my voice is just far too deep to ever sound female without it.

Vocal surgery is quite risky.  Why not work on your voice and perhaps get some speech therapy?  I did most of the work myself before I started seeing a speech therapist.  I now routinely get "Ma'am" on the phone, and oh, I still sing Bass.

About the beard, I haven't had any electrolysis but I've found Eflora very effective.  (Also known as Vaniqa - same stuff different company.)