Hello

[Jboggs]

Hello everyone. Well here's my story. I have had I believe gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember. Like many others here, I tried to deny it. I have lived the manly life to try and suppress these feelings. No one would ever know that I feel this way. I have done the typical get clothes, make-up, and the works. Then I would get the guilty feelings that someone would find out then I would purge everything. I live in a small town so everyone has a perception of me and I didn't want them to change that perception and I didn't want to disappoint my mother.
I always said when my mom passed away I would live the way I wanted to. But, I never wanted her to pass away. She was all I had. But, life happens and she was diagnosed and passed away with cancer. So, here I am able to live my life the way I want to. But, I am so scared to be who I really feel I am. I am so conflicted and depressed. I just hope I can muster the strength to be me and live my life and transition the the woman I want to be.

[gennee]

Hi Jboggs and welcome to Susan's. You have my sympathies about you mother's passing. I can imagine how scared you are now that you can live the life you really want. The first step is the hardest but consider the alternative. Would yo be happy if live a life that never gave you fulfillment before?

[Jboggs]

Thank you I appreciate you kind words. I know what the answer is. I just have to take the step.

[mrs izzy]

Welcome Jboggs to the forum,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know trying to deal with this and family sometimes is a fear we all have. I am a example that it all does not have to end bad. I am more the exception the the rule.

You never have to live for others. Others will never live there lives for you but want to stick there nose where it does not belong.

Do not see that you have had any therapy. If not i would suggest you find on that knows the WPATH SOC and help you with a offical diagnosis and walking this path in live.

It is hard at times but there is always happiness if you keep honest with your own inner person.

Stay safe and walk with pride.


Isabell

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Jboggs,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.

There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.

Very often that first ginormous hurdle we all have to jump is accepting ourselves, regardless of who is out there. Once that is done the rest is just detail. Filling in them blanks, so to speak. Once you know who you are, there's no turning back. It's unstoppable. Welcome to the family.

Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Jessica Merriman]

A big warm welcome to the family! You now have us as a support system, so use it to your advantage. Feel free to rant, vent, learn, make new friends and have some fun along the way. There are also a lot of shoulders to cry on if you ever need them. This is a safe place and our moderators do an excellent job of keeping us protected. Here is a BIG HUG ( ) to start your journey off right.

[Jboggs]

Thank you everyone.

[Jamie D]

I lost my mom to cancer a little over six years ago.  I completely understand your feelings.

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Welcome to the site, hon.  We tend to be like family here.