My opinion on "the t-word"

[MugwortPsychonaut]

First of all, I totally acknowledge the vast, nuanced opinions on this topic. I'm sharing how I feel, and I fully respect others' opinions that are not my own.

Okay. Having said that, I don't get too hung up on the t-word™. I say it time-to-time in a slangy manner, almost always referring to myself. Some of my friends use it, not meaning it as a slur at all -- just slang. I don't bother to be a wet blanket and correct them for something that in that moment is so minor. I know some people are hurt by this word. I know some people -- many people -- have had it yelled at them while someone was kicking the ->-bleeped-<- out of them.

Most of the time, I say "trans" (as an adjective) or "trans person." Or, sometimes I'll be specific and say "trans girl," "trans woman," "trans guy," "trans dude," and so on. For myself, I'll sometimes say "->-bleeped-<-" as a joke. But I would refrain from that if somebody within earshot really didn't like to hear it.

However, if I hear somebody say "she-male," they'll get a dirty look or worse. That word -- that compound word is nothing but objectification. It's gross.

[930310]

I believe that this is sound reasoning and it is important that you feel comfortable as well as the people around you. Saying the t-word might be offensive and you should never refer to anyone but yourself with it.

[Jess42]

First of all, I totally acknowledge the vast, nuanced opinions on this topic. I'm sharing how I feel, and I fully respect others' opinions that are not my own.

Okay. Having said that, I don't get too hung up on the t-word™. I say it time-to-time in a slangy manner, almost always referring to myself. Some of my friends use it, not meaning it as a slur at all -- just slang. I don't bother to be a wet blanket and correct them for something that in that moment is so minor. I know some people are hurt by this word. I know some people -- many people -- have had it yelled at them while someone was kicking the ->-bleeped-<- out of them.

Most of the time, I say "trans" (as an adjective) or "trans person." Or, sometimes I'll be specific and say "trans girl," "trans woman," "trans guy," "trans dude," and so on. For myself, I'll sometimes say "->-bleeped-<-" as a joke. But I would refrain from that if somebody within earshot really didn't like to hear it.

However, if I hear somebody say "she-male," they'll get a dirty look or worse. That word -- that compound word is nothing but objectification. It's gross.

Sometime people are just ignorant to our plight. Me personally I don't care what anyone calls me as long as there isn't malice behind it. Even the "she-male" word. Even though we may find it offensive, there are plenty of people that don't have a clue of how it offends us. After all it is just a word. You got to give ignorance a certain amount leeway and there are plenty of our sisters that are making quite a bit of money from that ignorance and god bless them for that. Believe it or not there are a lot of cisguys that use that word to check out trans women. And not only that a lot actually find us attractive whether or not they are willing to admit to it. So even bad publicity or lucrative professions are good in a way.

"She-male" maybe an objectification but women have been objectified since the dawn of time. So maybe, just maybe we are on equal ground as out cis counterparts. I mean look at all the derogatory names for cis women. The "B" word. The "C word. The "W" word. And one that I have been personally called, The "S" word and the "W" word by boyfriends that are PO'ed.

Just trying to keep an open mind and looking toward the positive.

Plus you know the old saying, "Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me."