Jealousy

[LeroyG]

God, why do i always have to get so jealous of my guy friends!? Their bodies, their stomach capacity, their facial hair, muscles,.....everything. Sometimes i wish i could not have gone to college and just done it online and stayed in my safe bedroom back home in GA, away from human contact. I thought maybe going back to my room and playing WoW and killing things with my pet boar on there would help. It didn't. I'm just gonna go in the forest and punch trees again, i guess. Only a few weeks ago did i finally feel comfortable to come out to anyone. I've been keeping this secret (being trans) my whole life and it just gets so hard sometimes. Idk where i'm going with this, i just needed to let this out. Do you guys ever get jealous like this?

[King Malachite]

I feel like that all the time and it's normal to feel that way.  You just have to push through it and know that most people, cis or trans, has something they are dysphoric about.  Kudos for coming out to people!

[Jessica Merriman]

Jealousy is normal like Malachite said. Knowing I can never have the one thing I want haunts me every day. I am so jealous of cis girls ability to have a child. I can and do pass, I am comfortable with who I am and I love life more than ever now, but I will never get to feel life growing inside of me.    I will never get to love someone and form a life we made to show to the world how great our love was. Have to go now, I feel a good cry coming on. I don't really know if this qualifies for jealousy or regret, but there it is.

[Chaos]

Jealousy is normal like Malachite said. Knowing I can never have the one thing I want haunts me every day. I am so jealous of cis girls ability to have a child. I can and do pass, I am comfortable with who I am and I love life more than ever now, but I will never get to feel life growing inside of me.    I will never get to love someone and form a life we made to show to the world how great our love was. Have to go now, I feel a good cry coming on. I don't really know if this qualifies for jealousy or regret, but there it is.

My ex girlfriend who is cis,had a condition that made her uerus very weak.her ovaries (folicils) would burst,causing massive bleeding and many times she was rushed to the hospt as she nearly bleed to death.surgery after sugery,they refused to remove her uterus and would tell her 'someday you can have kids' and as time passed,she held onto that hope.one day the worst happened and she was rushed again after she woke up in a flood,her bed ruined.they told her that she would never have kids and that in order to save her life,they would need to remove her uterus.I was there for her through it all and encouraged her,letting her know that 'being a mother isn't about giving birth but loving them' over time she realized that she wanted to be 'a mother' and she still could.so many children are throw away and abandoned,waiting for someone to love them.never feel bad but know that you can also be a mother.reach out a hand to those who need it and give unconditional love,which is what a real parent gives.

[Brandon]

Everyone feels like that sometimes, I guess I was alittle lucky when it comes to muscles and the nice body. But its good to focus on things you can change I did like ganning muscle and having a nice body, If you look at my Avi I took that pic in the summer Ive gained alot more muscle I'm even starting to notice vains in my arms, But it took work same with my body, I do have abs and I'm working on my six pack. Yes I still get very dysphoric but honestly it feels good to look in the mirror and flex and see muscle and then to have people ask if you lift weights. So I would say focus on things you can change.

[Ryan55]

yeah its pretty normal, i get like that too sometimes, especially with the bottom area, i get jealous that i dont have a penis, and if i want kids, it will cost tons of frigin money, then it would be if i could just impregnate some girl on my own, but you get over it

[aleon515]

@Brandon, seeing veins in the arms is a more masculine trait. I've gotten very veiny and (a little ) more muscular on T. Sounds like you are doing well in your fitness routine, because this will change your body in a masculine direction too.

--Jay

[Calder Smith]

Yes, of course I get jealous of cisguys. Their facial hair, their muscles, and especially their lower half.

[BeefxCake]

yeah i get super jealous too, especially at the gym and in my classes.

and they don't even have to be fit or attractive men, i get jealous of old men, skinny men, fat men, tall men, short men, you name it and it sucks cuz really none of them see me as a guy too and ughh.. aggravating.

[GnomeKid]

hmm to some extent.  Mostly dudes who look more like me or guys with gfs (especially guys who look kinda like me with gfs because that could so easily be me if I didn't have so many mental/physical relationship issues) people who are where I feel I could be if I hadn't have been trans.  Then again, I'm in a completely different mental place (in a positive way) because I am trans.  I don't think I'd change the experiences I'd gone through.  I'm just mostly miffed that a more complete transition is not more readily and reliably available.

T helps, Top surgery helps (I'm sure bottom surgery [such as it is] helps too, but I can't speak from experience).

[Chaos]

For me and maybe I'm weird,I don't deal with recentment or jealousy but that doesn't mean its not normal to feel that way.I just come from a different time,different battles and different mind set.I spent my entire life lost and trying to be accepted as the old me and I gave up and then when I transitioned,it was like a light came on and determination was at its highest.I personally know that I am special,loved and I am confident.I could care less what others look like or if they accept me.I love evryone the same and if they can't do that for me then they can jump off a cliff lol I mostly deal with being inpatient because I'm eager to start my life and hate the feeling of stagnating 'shrugs' keep your heads up tho!

[AdamMLP]

Sometimes I get jealous, mostly with people being able to strip off down to their boxers in their rooms, or sit and play Xbox top less. I'm always covered, I go to sleep and wake up worrying that my armpit or leg hair will show to my room mates in the position I'm in. I'm jealous of their height too, but I'm learning to try and let that go, there's nothing I can do on that count. The fact that that can go to the gym and work out without getting dysphoric is hard too.

Mostly though I'm not jealous of others. I'm angry at myself for not having the appearance I should do. My problem isn't others, it's with me.

[timbuck2]

It's natural to be jealous of something or someone no matter who you are.
At the end of the day you've got to learn to love the parts of your personality that you do like and physically change what you don't until you're happy.

[blink]

All the time. It's worse around other guys, but just seeing any part of my body is a reminder (small frame, light body hair, etc.). Stuff that helps me:

Remembering there are many men with similar builds/shorter than me/can't grow facial hair due to genetics/etc., trans and cis.  "It's not just me, lots of guys have [trait]."
Focusing on the future, after surgery and time on testosterone. "It won't always be this bad."
Concentrating on the things about myself I consider positive, or focusing on what I can change now, not what can't be changed yet/ever. Working out on a regular basis. Thinking about what kind of man I want to be, and remembering how many important aspects of that aren't even physical.

[Nikotinic]

I definitely find myself getting jealous of cis-guys.

Not all the time but occasionally I'll see someone and just think "Damn it, why is it so easy for you."

I get pretty jealous of my husband's arm muscles too - the closest he does to working out is computer games but he still has more muscle than I do. I'm not on T yet so I just have to keep telling myself that I'll get there one day, and then maybe do some push ups.

[gustavadolphus]

There's a dude I'm friends with who's stealth and has been on T ~2 years. He's growing out a beard now and it's perfect, and I still haven't gotten to start hormones, so I'll find myself getting really pissed off at him for fairly small things, mostly just because I'm jealous of him.

There's not much to do about it that I can see, except address it and look for some source of patience.

[4736251]

I definitely find myself getting jealous of cis-guys.

occasionally I'll see someone and just think "Damn it, why is it so easy for you."

This may seem very ->-bleeped-<-ed up, but the main resaon that I want to transition is envy.  It's like Nine Inch Nails said: "I just want something I can never have".

[Bimmer Guy]

God, why do i always have to get so jealous of my guy friends!? Their bodies, their stomach capacity, their facial hair, muscles,.....everything. Sometimes i wish i could not have gone to college and just done it online and stayed in my safe bedroom back home in GA, away from human contact. I thought maybe going back to my room and playing WoW and killing things with my pet boar on there would help. It didn't. I'm just gonna go in the forest and punch trees again, i guess. Only a few weeks ago did i finally feel comfortable to come out to anyone. I've been keeping this secret (being trans) my whole life and it just gets so hard sometimes. Idk where i'm going with this, i just needed to let this out. Do you guys ever get jealous like this?

More days than not.   

[YBtheOutlaw]

it's almost funny when a cisguy is jealous of me over something and i'm jealous of him for having a body i want to have. the mutual jealousy... it makes me laugh at times. why can't we just exchange our positions?