I've mostly been lurking for about the last year, mostly because I haven't really had much to say. But I figured now would be a good time to give an update for anyone who remembers me.
About a year and a half ago I moved from my hometown in Alaska to Osaka, Japan because my husband got an excellent job as a university professor. My first eight months or so were very difficult, as I was just post university and struggling to find a job. By a complete coincidence my current boss saw me and my husband last February at a local store and after overhearing us speaking in English, she started up a conversation. Long story short, I was working less than a week later.
I have a really nice gig all things considered. My bosses are Canadian and from BC/Victoria so the culture is very similar to Alaska. The school is a preschool to Adult school and its pretty small. We have three locations in the surrounding 5 cities and 9 teachers with about 420 students. The main location I work at is a seven minute walk from my apartment, which is awesome. I mostly work with preschool kids and they are wonderful. It's really amazing to see how much they learn in just a few months of being exposed to a second language. All of my students are able to argue and bargain with me, though their logic is mostly flawed, like asking me if they can go to the park before lunch because then they will only have to wash their hands once. I also have two adult students in their forties and a handful of elementary school aged kids. I'm not out at work at all. My bosses and their son know about me, but the other teachers, staff, students and parents don't know. All of my kids call me "Nii-Nii" which means big brother, and the adults call me "onikun" which is young man.
Relationship wise things couldn't be better. My husband has been wonderful and it's been awesome having him with me during my transition. He is looking forward to my top surgery almost as much as I am, even though he may not be able to help me due to work. Intimately our sex life has gotten better. We've been together 11 years in February and I honestly didnt know life could be so awesome. I'm a really lucky person to have met him. If I believed in a higher power I would swear he's an angel. But even though I don't believe in such things, I do know that I am very fortunate.
Family has been complicated. Out of everyone, my brothers (the three older ones), my maternal grandparents, aunts and uncles and my mother know about my transition. My mother is adamant about being there for my surgery. We haven't been close in years due to her issues with drugs and a prison sentence. It's been about 12 years since my mother was more than an addict. She's been clean and sober for almost two years and I couldn't be more proud of her. In the last six months she's been the person I remember from my childhood. My mother was one of the greatest people I had ever met, and to have that back again has meant the world to me.
My father, on the other hand, had changed. When I was young he was a very verbally abusive and angry person. A lot of it was because of mom, but it was my father needing to seek counseling for his own issues. He did and while he was single, we got very close. I called him every other day, visited several times and loved every minute of it. About three years ago he got remarried, had a son with his new wife and has changed. His new wife is a very conservative right wing republican Baptist. Her anti-LGBT rants have been so bad that my younger brother is afraid and ashamed of being gay. I can only help him so much, but I have encouraged him to stay strong, start working and start his own life. Sadly, her vitriol has been passed to my father. I feel terrible about my brother being there, but there is nothing I can do to help him outside of my support and encouragement to get out. I wish I could help him everyday, but I don't have the means to do so being in a foreign country.
I know I should have told him, since holding back something like transition will have very damning consequences. But my loyalty to my brother and my own naive thinking has held me back. I wanted to wait to tell him so that he would see from our conversations that I am still the same person, just without the bouts of depression and anger. I have no expectations of us staying in contact once I do tell him, but I have made my peace with that. Yes, I should have told him and that will be on me. But, my father always said "the only person who has to live with your choices at the end of the day is you." If he can live with never talking to me again, that will be his choice and I will respect it. I'd rather never speak to him again and still love him that stop transition, speak to him every day and grow to resent him.
Passing wise is sometimes a crapshoot. I pass about 80-90% of the time. When I first arrived it was 100% but I've lost about 50lbs (~20 kilos) which makes it harder to hide my curves. But if I introduce myself using the masculine no one questions me. It's all great overall.
Medically it's hard, but manageable. I have a very awesome doctor in Alaska and luckily she has been willing to work with me despite my distance. If we stay here long term I will have to find a doctor in Osaka at the medical university but I am going to burn that bridge when I come to it. I am getting physically ready for top surgery with Dr.G and I will be contacting him this week to get the ball rolling. It will be scheduled months in advance, so I have time to get myself in shape and finish saving the money. My husband and I together have a healthy income so I have been able to put aside most of the money for the surgery. All that is left is travel money and to figure out who if anyone I am going with. I'm looking forward to top surgery and aside from a hysto at some point it's the only surgery I am planning.
I've also finally completed my first novel. I started on it two years ago and to see it finished was great. I'm starting editing tonight and I plan to start looking for publishers once its finished. It's the first in a three part series but I have had enough time to figure out the second and third books that I know they will go much faster. I'm also currently working on several articles to submit to a well known site and with any luck I will have at least one ready within the month. Ideally I can work as a writer, which has been a goal for many years. I don't think I'll ever be famous, but I would be content with making a moderate living writing all the stories I have rattling around in my brain. I'm also planning to start self publishing some stories that I want to write on a self run website and as Ebooks.
I can't think of anything else at the moment. To anyone to read this, thanks. To everyone who was here and offered me advice when I was really struggling (there are so many that I can't name you all) thank you for everything. To those starting or easy transition, things can and do get awesome. I'll be around the boards more as I have no intention of leaving soon.
