Quote from: danielle28 on February 13, 2014, 10:38:14 PM
are there any other ladies out there who made major sacrifices in order to transition? for instance I have decided to move all my stuff to a storage bin and sleep in my car for the next 90 days while I save up money for my transition and to get out of debt. I am 10 days into doing that's already. I don't expect anyone to understand. I am doing what is necessary in order to clean my financial slate. I have never been more proud and happier than right now than. why? because for once I am doing what I need to do for me to move forward with my transition. I have a good job and have been able to make it work thus far. I was wondering if any other ladies have made sacrifices for their transition that they would like to share
to inspire others who may be struggling. I was living in an apartment that was extremely noisy and I couldn't get any sleep anyway. I actually get more sleep in my car then I got in my apartment. thank you ladies for continuing to inspire me with all your sharing on this forum. danielle
Let's see, I spent all of the money I could have had to have a comfortable retirement, so now I have to work when I am old. I lost my job when I told them of my transition, and this despite a company with a perfect 100 HRC score (which proved to me how little it mattered). I told them one day, and the very next morning I was fired and walked out of the building. I decided to go full time that day and take the biggest gamble of my life and spend every penny I had in the world on FFS surgery hoping for the best. The very next day I filed my name change and went full time, without having a job.
I was out of work for about 4 months, some of that time being used for surgical recovery. I had no money except an unemployment check. I still needed electrolysis every week, and so I decided, ramen noodles or electrolysis? So I ate more ramen noodles than I will need for a lifetime.
I was laughed out of a few interviews, some people wouldn't even shake my hand and thank me for coming in. I saved money and went without a great many things for 2 years just to pay for my SRS surgery. I bought clothes at goodwill, a junky car that barely made it to electrolysis every week, and whatever insurance I had never seemed to cover my therapy, who insisted I did one year of RLE with 1 visit a week. It took some serious persistence like 50 hours/week, but I managed to land another job making about 60% of what I earned as a male. That parts funny. Nothing changed, no change in education or experience, but an ID that said female and I was worth less in the market place.
I haven't talked to my own parents or my sister in almost 20 years now. Almost everyone in my family knew about me, since I was dressing up even as a kid and even in high school. No shocker, they all thought it was "a phase" it would go away and I would turn out "normal". I didn't turn out normal and honestly if we tried to sit down and talk now it would be like complete strangers having a conversation about the weather.
When I woke up from my surgery, I knew it was all worth it at that moment. I had finished what I started, well the expensive bits at least. When I did my BA surgery 2 years later it wasn't an expense, it was a treat. Something I treated myself for a job well done.
I gave up a lot just for the honor of being able to wear a bikini to the beach or having to sit down to pee, but I wouldn't change anything. It was still worth the effort even all these years later. I was able to rebuild my life and actually come out ahead. Now I have a future worth living. Sacrifices? Yes, maybe not life threatening but major. Do it again? Yes only because it was what I was born to do.
