Came out to my sister and father!!!

[Kaitlin4475]

Well I just arrived in the United States from my mil deployment about two days ago and three delayed flights later I'm finally traveling to my destination of South Carolina. Well my family is generally pretty bigoted so I took the leap of faith and came out to both my sister and father. My sister was so great about it and even loved my chosen name! She used to be uber Christian and very bigoted it totally blew my mind with the acceptance I received. I'm so glad to have my sister as an ally, she even said that she had sort of known all along. However... My father dun dun Dunnn. He was so Terrible about it, basically saying that if I transitioned I would be insane and that my family will never accept a "messed up ->-bleeped-<-". About how I have only felt these feelings for over 14 years (I'm 23) because I haven't prayed hard enough. And worst of all saying that I could do "so much better" with my wife (dick move I know). What an ->-bleeped-<-, but I'm not sweating it.. I've lived this long without him already so what's a few more years. I do hope he comes around though, I would eventually like him to be part of my life, for the time being l won't lose sleep over it. Just thought I'd tell y'all! So glad my sister is cool with it

[Tristan]

Dads tent to have tantrums like that at first. Just like little kids. Give him time. He can't stay mad forever

[gennee]

Hi Kaitlin. Congratulations on your coming out to your sister and father. It may take time for your father but give him time and space. If he has any questions, answer them as best you can. There's plenty of resources here and elsewhere which can help you.

[Jill F]

Wow, and the father of the year award goes to...

So sorry he's being such an ass about it.  If it's any consolation, he tipped his hand to you and you now wield some power over him because of his own irrational fears.  He may fear what people might think of him first and foremost.  If he doesn't come around, you can always make sure his entire social circle knows about you and how he treated you so he can go live under a rock.

OTOH, having your sister in your corner is really awesome.

Best of luck to you, Kaitlin!

[E-Brennan]

I'm glad there's some good news in there!

The bright side is that your father is still communicating with you, so he clearly doesn't want you to leave and never be a part of his life.  Give him time.

And as for your sister - wow, what a great girl she is.  With luck, she'll stick by your side through all of this, and she might also be a good conduit between you and your father.  She'll set him straight, I'm sure.

I'd say all in all, your coming out was pretty successful!  Not perfect, but they rarely are.  Keep up the communication, break your father in gently, and I'm sure all of this will be long in the past before you know it.

And kudos for being so brave!  I'm jealous . . . my folks still don't know . . .

[mowdan6]

Not sure if this helps, but it took 7 years before my Dad would accept me as his son.  We now have a great relationship.  Stay true to yourself and give him time.  Great to hear that your sister is there for you.

[Rachel]

I am so happy your sister is an ally. Sorry your Dad did not take it well.

[Kaitlin4475]

thank you al for the support it means a lot