Feel Ugly?

[Everly]

im just curious. this is going to sound awful but my back and forth mindset regarding hrt hinges on one thing: my odds of being pretty.

i mean back and forth as in. in the course of a single mental monologue id be set to do it and then set never to several times over. i finally put it off (today) for a year at least. just to not have to think about it..

so im just curious, how happy are you with what hormones have done. did you turn out as attractive as you wouldve liked? and as irate as it may make some of you i dont want the whole ' it doesnt matter what you look like ' thing.

this is mostly directed at early twenties transitions as i am 24.

and sorry if anyone is offended by my straightforward and rather harsh analysis of what potential hrt has but im just trying to answer my own questions regarding statistical likelyhood of my own happiness after hrt. im 6' 2 with manly features like a wide nose prominent brow and big clumsy feet. i already think like a woman. my concern is looking like one.

[ErinM]

I kept my expectations low going in to this. Despite a lifetime of learning to cope with an outright deformity knowing that people put a lot of value into inner beauty, there are days that I struggle.

I try to keep in mind a post I saw on another trans woman's blog talking about a conversation she had with her wife. Her wife basically said that if you're hoping to see a pretty girl in the mirror it won't happen. That women, no matter how attractive they are will always find something they're not happy with.

That being said, I think estrogen has been good to me and progesterone seems to be building on that a little.

[Rachel]

Tall woman have a fantastic advantage, models are tall.

Faces can be changed.


Dysphonia will not go away and get worse with time.

At 24 you have a great shot at having great results.

Pretty, well all women are pretty, some more than others.

[amZo]

Well I looked like Brooke Shields before HRT so I'm pretty ticked off!

I didn't change as much as a lot of folks, but there was only one way for me personally to find out so I did.

[ZombieDog]

I had the same problem of worrying if I'd be 'handsome' during/after transition and what I've found is that I don't look like what I WISH, I looked like(a cis guy) but I look better.  I feel better.  I look in the mirror and I don't always see "Dang I look good" but I'm starting to say "I look RIGHT."  And that's more important to me than being 'handsome.'

[androgynouspainter26]

I'm a bit before you in terms of time, but I didn't get a steady dose until a few months ago and I'm almost twenty.  Even at this age, the hormones won't solve everything-I know that I personally need FFS, breast augmentation, the whole nine yards really.  But I'll never forget, a few months ago I was wearing a gorgeous black dress (actually the one in my profile pic), and I had just finished putting on layer after layer of makeup.  I got up, and looked into the mirror; I think that's the first time I ever personally saw a girl staring back at me; that was a lovely moment!  My transition is far from over, and I think it'll be a long time before I really feel like myself, but I think that even past that initial blip of puberty, there is certainly hope.

[TerriT]

Go spend some time in the before and after thread. That should provide enough incentive.

[Ms Grace]

Go spend some time in the before and after thread. That should provide enough incentive.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The major problem is, you won't really know how much HRT will change your appearance until you're on it for a number of months if not years...and even then it's relatively subtle. HRT won't change your nose, or your brow or your chin, etc, it won't stop your beard or significantly thin your eyebrows. It will soften your skin and the shape of your face, maybe make your eyes look a bit larger...but that's about it. So if you're feeling bad about some aspect of your face there's a chance that won't change. But like Tiffany points out, there are some stunning transformations on the Before and After thread, very inspirational. Yes, some of it is the result of surgery but that's what that person felt was necessary for them.

[muffinpants]

I'd just like to point out that feeling 'ugly' is a problem all people face. You can't help what you were born with and I find it unfathomably cruel that people can use looks as a basis to judge people. I'm going to pull out the cliche card and tell you that personality and attitude have a lot more to do with beauty that your outside appearance, and this is true for everyone. Never feel less valuable because of the way you look; physical beauty is fleeting, but a beauty from the inside is one that will last.

[Ms Grace]

This is true Muffinpants, sadly we can do it to ourselves as much as other people do. Worse still, we can be harshest of critics about ourselves - the most gorgeous of people can often be hugely insecure and critical about how they look. I agree, true beauty comes from within...it is the strength of personality and belief in oneself beyond mere looks. It's possible those people stopped criticising themselves about their appearance a long time ago.

[Androgynous_Machine]

Personally for me transitioning is about me, not about making others happy.  Then again I got fairly thick skin and have little to no regard for negative people's worthless opinions.

I'm loved by friends and family, what more could a girl ask for?  I think the biggest contributor to passing is confidence.  Once you have it in your mind exactly who or what you are, then there isn't anyone on the planet who can tell you any differently.

-AM

[Emo]

Im 21, and i want to feel like looks dont matter... But part of being female is caring about how you look. Usually anyways. Im happy with some of the changes but what it hasnt changed or hasnt changed enough, i am dysphoric about. Im only just starting out but im starting to feel like all these visual changes i notice are only in my head.