I'm a lion hear me roar... Rawrs....

[Nero]

I have no idea what I can say other then, thank you everyone. These past few days have been more then stressful, and I think that stress might have led to the fever that I still cant seem to get over. All I do is worry and hope that she is safe till next Friday and I'm not sure how to handle each day. I suppose the fever is helping me sleep at least, but I wish Friday would come sooner.

I think I might see about getting in contact with a lawyer to see about getting full custody and how I could work around a payment plan or see if there are any good government lawyers that I only need to pay a small percentage.

It's been hard... I called for a few days and asked if I could speak to her, but he told me she didn't want to talk to me on the phone... I'm not sure if he is lying, or what, but that is something that is new.

Thanks for checking in, Dalex. God, this is awful. I can't imagine the worry you're going through. I pray that if he is guilty, the fear of being caught stops him from doing anything. Awful that he won't put her on the phone. God. I'll be praying for your daughter's safety. We're with you.

[Edge]

It's been hard... I called for a few days and asked if I could speak to her, but he told me she didn't want to talk to me on the phone... I'm not sure if he is lying, or what, but that is something that is new.

Record it. I hope your daughter is safe and I am glad she has you.

[Dalex]

Alright, another update. Just got a call from child service and it seems my ex has called in yet again. Really, does he think he is helping himself here? He is acting so childish and it just seems like he is trying to work me up til I explode.  Well, depending on how things go, I'll know on Friday what he or his mother have made up this time. But on that note, I think I will make a call tomorrow and go for full custody. If he really was innocent, he would not be acting like this.

[Nero]

Alright, another update. Just got a call from child service and it seems my ex has called in yet again. Really, does he think he is helping himself here? He is acting so childish and it just seems like he is trying to work me up til I explode.  Well, depending on how things go, I'll know on Friday what he or his mother have made up this time. But on that note, I think I will make a call tomorrow and go for full custody. If he really was innocent, he would not be acting like this.

What's he calling in about? Making counter accusations?

[Dalex]

What's he calling in about? Making counter accusations?

Yup. Him and his mother have called in and accused me of neglecting my daughter a week after I took my daughter to the hospital, spoke to a police officer and child service. I'm not worried since my daughter is my everything and I know I dont neglect her. Just feel hurt and angry that he would accuse me of something like this to try to spite me for acting and listening to what my daughter told me about what her dad did to her. She has even used the words that her dad hurt her down there.

[Nero]

She has even used the words that her dad hurt her down there.

The word 'hurt' is less ambiguous. 

Sounds like they're trying some damage control. Was she checked out physically?

[Dalex]

The word 'hurt' is less ambiguous. 

Sounds like they're trying some damage control. Was she checked out physically?

She was and they were not able to see if somethinga had happened or not, since everything was so unclear in the check up. That it now came down to her story snd such. They had one meeting with here where she talked around everything and thay she had been rather unclear. So, her one visit is what they look at.

The child service system here is not the worst, but there are a lot of things they should improve on. Starting with a lot of the people working there.

[~Kaiden]

I highly doubt your daughter expressed that she didn't want to talk to you.  It sounds to me like hes angry and trying to get back at you in any petty way he can. 

He's just digging his own hole the more he throws around false accusations. 

I hate to say this, but I think you are right.  These don't sound like the actions of an innocent man. 

[MiaOhMya!]

Yep be sure to let him dig his own grave! I'm sure the child protection people see that kind of behaviour all the time. Besides they are going to side with the mother of a child most of the time. Also I doubt any of his false accusations carry the weight of an accusation brought forth by the child herself.

Emphasized again like everyone says: document it all. Every accusation, every lie.

[Lavender]

Separation is never pretty is it? Sorry to hear your going through such a rough patch, and he really is acting waaayy too extreme if, as has been said, he was truly innocent. I feel the most for your daughter being in between everything, and I hope that custody thing goes well D:

[Dalex]

Separation is never pretty is it? Sorry to hear your going through such a rough patch, and he really is acting waaayy too extreme if, as has been said, he was truly innocent. I feel the most for your daughter being in between everything, and I hope that custody thing goes well D:

You are right, it has been a rather messy year after I told him to pack his things and leave. And I have tried very hard to let everything go as little on my daughter as I possibly could. And thank you Lavender.

Yep be sure to let him dig his own grave! I'm sure the child protection people see that kind of behaviour all the time. Besides they are going to side with the mother of a child most of the time. Also I doubt any of his false accusations carry the weight of an accusation brought forth by the child herself.

Emphasized again like everyone says: document it all. Every accusation, every lie.

Yes, I have not been calling him on any of the false accusations. Just taken a note of it and documented it like all of you have recomended I should do.

I highly doubt your daughter expressed that she didn't want to talk to you.  It sounds to me like hes angry and trying to get back at you in any petty way he can. 

He's just digging his own hole the more he throws around false accusations. 

I hate to say this, but I think you are right.  These don't sound like the actions of an innocent man. 

When I finally managed to get her on the phone, one of the first things she said was that she wanted to come to be and he tried to cut my time with her as short as he possibly could.


So, now for the most recent update. My plan is to a therapist I know of that does, what she likes to call, play therapy. It is still uncertain if what she said her father did was one of those innocent child lies, but ether way it is clear that there is something that is on my kids mind that is hurting her. My top priority is that my daughter is healthy, happy and safe. I just hope I am doing everything right.

[Dalex]

Hey everyone, I thought I would use my old thread here to write up an update instead of making a new thread.

My laptop broke down in the start of December and then last month I had to cut my internet. Things have not been going all to well on my end here. I'm loosing my apartment and I don't know when, child service decided to close down my daughters case cause it seems my ex managed to convince them that I'm just over reacting since the two of us don't get along, which is bull->-bleeped-<-...

I feel like I'm loosing from my hands here and it just seems harder and harder to fight everything like this. But, I know I have to. What is the most important is my daughters safety, and after recent events and news from doctors, it clearly isn't so. I spent all of last week telling my daughter I loved her over and over again, and she always replied "No, dad says you don't love me...." It took me four days for me to convince her other wise... I told her that if he would every say something like that again, that he was lying and that I love her very much. And then I got a call from child service telling me that her hymen has been slightly torn. Yet, the one who is in charge of the case is still going to close down the case.

On top of all of this my dysorphia and PTSD has been going through the roof and when I think about that, I just feel like I'm being selfish and that I need to push my issues to the side. I just wish I knew just what it is I need to and how to do everything.

[Edge]

Sorry I don't know what to say that could help. I am sorry you and your daughter are going through this. I wish child services would do something to help you protect your daughter. Is it possible to take this to court?
It's not selfish. Stress has a tendency to bring other issues to the forefront. I know it's not much, but *GREAT BIG BEAR HUG*

[Dalex]

*Accepts the GREAT BIG BEAR HUG*

Thanks Edge, and as for taking this to court? I'm going to see next week if that is possible and if yes, I'm going full on and I'll mop the floor with his face if I have to. The mental break down can wait till I have everything taken care of But I am trying to keep myself sane by every now and then doing something to occupy my mind for at least an hour or two.

[Edge]

Good luck. I hope it goes in your and your daughter's favour. It should.

[thevaliantx]

I am at work do I do not have a lot of time, but I think that whenever there are allegations like this it is better for everyone involved to get a "checkup".  It clearly defines things and removes any doubts that would muddy the circumstances in which one might get help.

[Dalex]

I am at work do I do not have a lot of time, but I think that whenever there are allegations like this it is better for everyone involved to get a "checkup".  It clearly defines things and removes any doubts that would muddy the circumstances in which one might get help.

I have had a few visits since this all came up and me and my home has been checked out and I will be getting visits the next few weeks, and I don't mind at all. But, he had not received one visit and has gone to one meeting and talked to them on the phone. So, I have no idea what I should think of child service here in Iceland at the moment, or perhaps about the woman that was on our case. Case closed due to lack of information that can confirm if something happened or not, or so I was told.