When did you first know you were a transguy?

[CursedFireDean]

For the longest time I just thought that since I had a vagina I had to be a girl. Like, I thought that no matter how I felt, I had to be. Then I saw an episode of Degrassi about a transgender guy, and my very fist thought was 'that's me.' For a long time though, I thought that you had to be straight to be a transguy, I thought I had to like girls, so I denied it. I just didn't know that it was okay for me to be gay. I was pretty miserable until 9th grade when I decided that I was going to figure out my sexuality- I'd been confused about it, so I wanted to have a label for myself. When I was looking up stuff on the internet, I learned that being trans has no effect on being gay, and if I was a guy, it didn't matter whether or not I liked other guys.
Funnily enough, now that I know who I am, I've been able to figure out my sexuality much better. I think the influence of growing up like I HAD to be a girl made me think I liked guys, but when I really began to break down some of the influences in me, I realized that was not the case.

[Edge]

For the longest time I just thought that since I had a vagina I had to be a girl. Like, I thought that no matter how I felt, I had to be.

Me too. I kept thinking it was something I was going to have to suck up and accept.

[4736251]

I wished that I was a boy since I was 8.  However I didn't know what the term "transgender" was until recently.  I remember watching an episode of MTV's "True Life" where there was a trans guy.  He said "this is one of my binders.  Instead of making me look I have big boobs, it makes it look like I don't have boobs, so it would be easier to pass as a guy".  And I was like "holy ->-bleeped-<- I want one of those!" lol 

[GnomeKid]

sooner than I could talk... if that is an option. 

[Calder Smith]

I haven't seen any TV shows with a trans guy on there. I kind of just learned by looking it up online.

[aleon515]

I haven't seen any TV shows with a trans guy on there. I kind of just learned by looking it up online.

Well *TV shows* no. I understand CBS is producing a program about a transguy teenager. The title of this is Ze (gender neutral pronoun). I understand some group  like Switch (which I ma not familiar with, picked this up.)  I don't know any kind of dates for this or if the project is still going.
(And of course, not trans guy, but Orange is the New Black is a Netflix program with an amazing portrayal of a trans woman-- I am sure I picked up stuff on that the average viewer wouldn't have been interested in.)

--Jay

[YBtheOutlaw]

seriously i don't remember. my childhood memory is so foggy that i don't have a clear timeline of my own history in my head. there are few bright patches of memory that stand out of the fog and they tell a lot. the earliest hint i've digged up so far dates back to the days of kindergarten. i went to preschool for two years and i remember at the beginning of the second year i asked the woman who sew our uniforms to add a pocket to my shirt like the boys shirts. she laughed and told me only boys got pockets, but i insisted so i got a pocket. i was afraid at first that i would be outcasted for having a pocket but nobody seemed to notice, and i was very happy. however i was sure i was a guy stuck in a girls body when i was 13, but struggled through a terrible denial phase and put myself back on track at age 17 after i discovered what i really was through internet.

[-Luke-]

When I was in sixth grade in an emo phase a boy on the bus teased me and said I was only unhappy because I wanted to be a boy. He was totally right and I knew it, but then his sister said a girl couldn't become a boy and only a freak would want to. I guess that's my first memory about it.

I didn't consciously see myself as trans until way after - I thought wanting to be male and have a male body was a lesbian thing, even though I hated the term because it was for women and not men, and that trans people were always MTF. When I became more aware of it I realized it was what I was, but I was so scared that I repressed it for two years. It's only been in the past season or two that I've come to terms with it completely.

[bornpurple]

Back on topic now guys so this thread doesn't get locked..

Anyone else ever been accepted by all the guys in school but was excluded from certain activities because you were a "girl"?


I remember all the guys thinking of me as that cool "girl" that liked video games and understood all the stuff boys liked but when it came to sports they either didn't want me to play or took it easy on me. Like when we would play football, they wouldn't tackle me for example.

Yup. All my guy friends tended to accept me wholeheartedly when we were alone or in a small group and they usually said they didn't see me as a girl at all. In fact I think they forgot that I "was" one. And I certainly didn't remember that I was supposed to be one. But as soon as "all the guys" got together I suddenly blossomed into a girl in their eyes and they banned me from playing with them. I always thought it was unfair so I usually tried to beat them up in retaliation afterwards.

When I got older I skipped a few grades though and suddenly the boys were all a lot taller and stronger than me and I couldn't keep up with them in sports or bond over talk about girls. So the girls were the only ones that accepted me and that's how I made my first feminine girl friends.

[JasperStatik]

I'm not exactly sure when I first decided I was a guy. I don't remember much from my childhood. My 2nd year in high school I came out as a questioning transgender the first time but shoved these odd feelings and behaviours aside and became an "emo" teen. Music is my life. And then in December of this year (2 years later) I decided that it's who I've been. I looked at old photos and sure enough. I could see the boy in me trying to escape. I ordered my binder a few weeks ago and it'll be here any day now. Not exactly answering your question but it kind of does.

[NathanExplosion]

I knew I was male about a week before Halloween when I was 18. I am 21 now, so it has been a little over two years. I knew because I went to a Halloween dance in a female costume, and felt miserable. I said to my now-boyfriend, who has been ID'ing as male for much longer, "I feel like I'm cross-dressing."

I always knew there was something different about me from the early stages of puberty. I remember being about ten and realizing I was not like other kids. It was then that I went through about every identity in the book. I started out identifying as bisexual. A couple of years later, I identified as a lesbian. That lasted a couple of years until I finally came to terms with the fact that men are definitely hot, and began identifying as pansexual. Sometimes I dressed male, sometimes I dressed female. It wasn't until I began attending an LGBT youth group and really learned what it meant to be trans* that I finally figured it out. It never occurred to me fully that I COULD be male until then, and it was a pretty immediate transition.

Looking back, I rarely looked in the mirror and felt sick or wrong. I always (and still do) liked fashion and costumes, and I always felt like I was just wearing a pretty costume. I was in denial, and in that I just accepted that my female appearance was a costume, and it wasn't so bad to PRETEND to be female, but I realized once I came out that it was never me and that I wasted so much time pretending. Does that make any sense or sound like something anyone else went through?