I'm currently looking for a therapist for gender issues as well as some other difficult circumstances in my life. It's triggering dysphoria because a lot of the therapists I've spoken to in the past related to me as female and preferred to handle issues in a typically female way. There was lots of open-ended exploring of feelings without any clear-cut goals or solutions. I respect that that works for some people, but it doesn't work for me. Instead, it tends to make things worse.
The only good experience I had with therapy was with a male therapist. I would talk to him about how my week was and he'd ask strategic questions and give me suggestions for how to handle things better. It was very friendly and constructive. But we didn't talk about my gender issues. I had enough on my plate at the time and didn't want to bring it up.
It's hard because I've always been told that you should see a therapist of the same gender as you. How can you do this if you're trans or genderqueer? I fear that I won't be able to relate to a therapist of either gender. I fear that a male therapist won't be able to help me with the bad things I've experienced as a result of living as female, while a female therapist won't relate to my more masculine way of thinking.
Really, I'd rather see a male therapist, but there aren't that many, and there are plenty of good therapists who are women. Is it sexist to prefer to see a man? Or maybe just ignorant and judgmental?
Is it weird that I'm freaking out over this or is anyone else going through the same thing?
