Please advise this stressed student

[Eris]

For a while now I have really been struggling to keep up with Uni.
I spent the first semester this year being crippled by stomach pains (literally unable to stand) and trying to convince my cousin not to kill herself. Now I'm constantly worrying about dealing with the NHS and transitioning and how my friends will take it (I have one big social circle from my Archery Club so even a couple of them taking it badly could really cause me problems with the rest). I'm constantly stressed and I cannot concentrate on my workload.

I confided my situation in my course coordinator who was understanding and suggested that I might consider deferring a year. Basically I leave off where I am now and return for the second semester next year. The government will still pay my tuition (taxes in Scotland pay for 5 years of tuition and only tuition).

The main reason that I am considering this is that I cannot resit passed modules. So if I soldier on and do really badly but do not fail then I'm stuck with my bad result which will lower my degree classification. I'm already on extensions for my coursework and just feel overwhelmed

This would mean that I would probably look for a job until Christmas, then go back to uni when I feel less like I am about to fall apart.

I could use some advice, so if what I've said sounds sensible or crazy to you I'd like to know.

[RosieD]

If it were me and the deferral really does mean you can start back where you left off I would take the break.  I have just finished studying for a Master's (dissertation submitted about 8 hours ago) which has taken 6 years (OU).  During that time I have twice taken 6 month breaks, on both occasions when there was too much else going on to deal with - the second time because of starting transition.

You can only cope with so much and you need to be gentle on yourself.  If you haven't finished coming out or gone full time yet then you are right in the middle of possibly the most stressful part of the process.  I would take the time to gather my breath, take care of the stressful stuff (coming out, going full-time) and then return to study.  IMHO, YMMV, etc.

Rosie

[Eris]

Thanks Rosie, it is good to hear from someone who has found herself in a similar situation.
I think I am making the right choice but doubt like fear is far from rational.

[stephaniec]

If it were me and the deferral really does mean you can start back where you left off I would take the break.  I have just finished studying for a Master's (dissertation submitted about 8 hours ago) which has taken 6 years (OU).  During that time I have twice taken 6 month breaks, on both occasions when there was too much else going on to deal with - the second time because of starting transition.

You can only cope with so much and you need to be gentle on yourself.  If you haven't finished coming out or gone full time yet then you are right in the middle of possibly the most stressful part of the process.  I would take the time to gather my breath, take care of the stressful stuff (coming out, going full-time) and then return to study.  IMHO, YMMV, etc.

Rosie

sounds like sound advice

[Jessica Merriman]

If it were me and the deferral really does mean you can start back where you left off I would take the break.  I have just finished studying for a Master's (dissertation submitted about 8 hours ago) which has taken 6 years (OU).  During that time I have twice taken 6 month breaks, on both occasions when there was too much else going on to deal with - the second time because of starting transition.

You can only cope with so much and you need to be gentle on yourself.  If you haven't finished coming out or gone full time yet then you are right in the middle of possibly the most stressful part of the process.  I would take the time to gather my breath, take care of the stressful stuff (coming out, going full-time) and then return to study.  IMHO, YMMV, etc.

Rosie

Outstanding advice! I took time off in the past. It saved my academic scores and I approached my studies with fresh, rested eyes and succeeded.

[Eris]

I feel like I am about to have a heart attack.
Within the space of five minutes I have received an email informing me that there was a problem with my accommodation for next year (and that I may have to find another place to live) and a letter confirming my first appointment with the NHS in just two weeks time (which says that if I have a problem with junior doctors and nurses sitting in on what to me is an extremely personal revelation then I need to phone them in advance and tell them no - which I feel would make me appear uncooperative)! And I'm going out to lunch with and confiding in one of my closest friends tomorrow (not necessarily at lunch). I feel excited to be making progress but also overwhelmed and terrified.

[Eris]

I thought that 2 weeks was too soon and checked the letter again and it's not March but May, I must have misread it in my panicked state. I've gone from terrified and exhilarated to frustrated and disappointed.

[RainbowGuacamole]

I would definitely take the time off. I took a break between my third and fourth years of uni to work through some depression and anxiety issues and the time off was the best thing I could have done for myself. Is there anyway you could still work toward your academic goals in the interim? Maybe do some reading in your field of choice or write some papers (or programs or art pieces depending on what you're studying...) and build a portfolio up and post it online? Time off doesn't have to be time wasted. Don't beat yourself up over needing a break.

[Annabelle]

Hellooo Falconer :3

I am going through literally the same thing as you besides the crippling stomach pain and it's a friend of mine who wanted to commit suicide as well. I'm about to start my second year of Uni as well and thinking of deferring too. If it is stressing you out too much it is better to take a rest and recharge instead of turning yourself into a ticking time bomb. Hang in there girlie :3