Transitioning from a senior position in a large multinational

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi everyone....  So today I met up over lunch with one of my managers (lots of dotted line reporting in my organisation), but he's the key person in Spain with whom I collaborate.   He's a lovely guy and very insightful and he says "Can I ask you, are you leading a double life? It's just that occasionally you come in with remains of mascara, and I'm sure you had lipstick on the other day..."     

Well, the intro was perfect.  The truth is that I have been using makeup for work - pushing the boundaries quite deliberately.   So from that, I was able to proceed directly to explaining my situation, and his response was wonderfully positive.  He shall work with me on the communiction plan for before I do my FFS and for when I come back as The Girl.

It certainly doesn't mean that the future is rosy or guaranteed.  But at least it does mean that, when I am ready to launch myself into a new reality at work, I will have his full support, and since he  heads up a key division of my company, this will be a major help.

Let's see what happens next... this is a really weird journey...!

J

[barbie]

Hi everyone....  So today I met up over lunch with one of my managers (lots of dotted line reporting in my organisation), but he's the key person in Spain with whom I collaborate.   He's a lovely guy and very insightful and he says "Can I ask you, are you leading a double life? It's just that occasionally you come in with remains of mascara, and I'm sure you had lipstick on the other day..."     

Well, the intro was perfect.  The truth is that I have been using makeup for work - pushing the boundaries quite deliberately.   So from that, I was able to proceed directly to explaining my situation, and his response was wonderfully positive.  He shall work with me on the communiction plan for before I do my FFS and for when I come back as The Girl.

It certainly doesn't mean that the future is rosy or guaranteed.  But at least it does mean that, when I am ready to launch myself into a new reality at work, I will have his full support, and since he  heads up a key division of my company, this will be a major help.

Let's see what happens next... this is a really weird journey...!

J

What I recently realized was that people are not so much interested in me as I had thought. At first, they show surprised reactions. But, no more reaction thereafter. Nowadays few people comment when I wear miniskirt at my work place, because I wear it nearly everyday. I miss those comments as people are loosing interest in my fashion.

barbie~~

[Julia-Madrid]

What I recently realized was that people are not so much interested in me as I had thought. At first, they show surprised reactions. But, no more reaction thereafter. Nowadays few people comment when I wear miniskirt at my work place, because I wear it nearly everyday. I miss those comments as people are loosing interest in my fashion.

Barbie, speaking theoretically, if I get to the point where I would not be a novelty in my workplace, this would be the greatest and happiest day for me!

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi girls.. I thought I'd post a brief update...

Last Friday was a rather important day.  I needed to speak to my direct boss, my local team, and then visit my parents as a girl for the first time.

My direct boss took it totally in his stride.  We did a video call, as he works out of Italy, and I needed to send him a photo via Whatsapp to show that I wasn't going to be too scary to put in front of customers.  His comment to me was "If you're happy, I'm happy."  I was happy.

And then an intimate coffee and cookies get-together with the 6 people that make up the local team I work with on a day-to-day basis.  This was actually a bit harder and more stressful than I was expecting, but mainly because of stuff in my head.  I showed them a few pictures, received a few hugs, and I think everyone is happy.

So far so good.  On the 21st of July we will send out a formal announcement to the people in my work ecosystem, as I will be having FFS a couple of days later, and in August I do wish to return to the office as a girl.   Let's see how it goes.... no doubt the fun will start when I get back!

[Cindy]

Congrats young lady!

I hope it all goes well (it will!)

Cindy

[Julia-Madrid]

Congrats young lady!

I hope it all goes well (it will!)

Cindy

Thanks so much Cindy!!!    Gawd, I really hope so - I have been meticulous about all of this stuff.   There is a banana skin out there somewhere still.... 

[Cindy]

Julia,

Can I give you one piece of advice from my experience?

Enjoy it!

In a few weeks or months you will realise the truth. You are a woman, nothing special, just a woman.
It is a glorious realisation when you understand that you are just ....... normal.

Rejoice in it

[Julia-Madrid]

You know Cindy, I was going to send a private message to your penultimate post, but your reply here pretty much anticipated everything I was going to say. 

It's just that my transition has been so much easier than I imagined, so comfortable and natural, and with many fewer obstacles than I was expecting.  All I want each day is to wake up, pretty myself up a bit, go out there and just be who I am and continue having fun. 

Everyone told me this was going to be a major obsctacle course.  So far, I'm just not finding that!  As I say, there must be a banana skin waiting somewhere...

Thank you for your advice!
Hugs
Julia

[barbie]

Hi girls.. I thought I'd post a brief update...

Last Friday was a rather important day.  I needed to speak to my direct boss, my local team, and then visit my parents as a girl for the first time.

My direct boss took it totally in his stride.  We did a video call, as he works out of Italy, and I needed to send him a photo via Whatsapp to show that I wasn't going to be too scary to put in front of customers.  His comment to me was "If you're happy, I'm happy."  I was happy.

And then an intimate coffee and cookies get-together with the 6 people that make up the local team I work with on a day-to-day basis.  This was actually a bit harder and more stressful than I was expecting, but mainly because of stuff in my head.  I showed them a few pictures, received a few hugs, and I think everyone is happy.

So far so good.  On the 21st of July we will send out a formal announcement to the people in my work ecosystem, as I will be having FFS a couple of days later, and in August I do wish to return to the office as a girl.   Let's see how it goes.... no doubt the fun will start when I get back!

Congrats.
I guess your personality and professional performance could have been more important in receiving such support.

In my case, I have changed my appearance gradually by stealth. I did not declare anything. People who have been closely with me are fine, but the problem is when I meet some people in a long time, and they show some surprised reaction at my change, asking those classical questions.

barbie~~

[Julia-Madrid]

So, its 3 weeks to go before the boy ceases to exist at work.  I then get some FFS done and return as The Girl.  Meantime I have gradually been coming out to people and I have been astonished by how positive the responses have been.

At the beginning of June I was in Nice for a conference, together with 4 guys - we're a product development group - and one of them knows my situation and suggested I tell the rest of them.  Well, it was a non-issue - they met the girl after the working day was over, and after 30 minutes, it was totally normal. 

Then yesterday our entire team - we're 20 people in 15 countries - had our monthly call with our manager.  We're a close group and he and I agreed that it was time to tell them.   Well, his introduction brought tears to my eyes.  He basically said "One of our people, an excellent and competent colleague, has decided to change gender, and I want you to know that I fully support him and ask you to do the same.  In this group I want people to be happy, and if it will make you happy to change gender or change region, or whatever, I will support you."  He was actually warmer and more eloquent, but my mind was doing summersalts at that point, so I can't reproduce it better.

I know that my situation is pretty unusual, and I have been humbled by how positive my colleagues have all been.

[Cindy]

 

[suzifrommd]

I know that my situation is pretty unusual, and I have been humbled by how positive my colleagues have all been.

I would say the same for my own transition at work. Good luck, Julia.

[Julia-Madrid]

I would say the same for my own transition at work. Good luck, Julia.

Thanks Suzi... I'll report back once I see how people react to me when I finally turn up as a girl in August!

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi Everyone!  Today's my first day at work as a girl.  I decided to bring the date forward since my group is moving from one floor to another and it makes sense for me to arrive in the new place as The Girl.

Below is the note I sent to my 150 closest colleagues.  I received around 50 replies of support.  Let's see how it goes....

-------------------------------
Dear Colleagues

It is time to tell you some news that is important to me.  (and below you will find the same note in Spanish):  recently I took the step to recognise something that I have known consciously since the '90s and subconsciously for much longer- that I am transsexual. Since January I have been carefully putting many pieces into place so that I may transition to becoming a girl and living as one. Join me in celebrating a weird but joyous event!

Outside my work environment I made the change some months ago, and from today  I finish the change at work as well.  From this point onwards, to all practical extents I will be a girl.  Yes, I'm keeping my name, as it's gender-free in most places, and has some lovely meanings.

Our business relationship does not change – I am fully supported by the company and my role continues.  Share this news as you think necessary, but please be a little discreet.  And get used to calling me "she" - you can start this already!

You will meet me in version 2.0 from 11th of July, and you can see how I look on my Lync photo.

Questions are welcome.   

Warm regards
A

[Cindy]

Cute!
Congrats and let us know how you go.

[Erica_Y]

Congrats I hope it continues to go well. I to thought I was in a minority group of having a positive coming out at work experience. I am still in the honeymoon phase only 3 months full-time however work has been fantastic and made the transition to the correct me almost without skipping a beat and I too work for a larger global organization at the Director level in the oil and gas industry which is not known for being progressive at all on many levels let alone leading edge HR policies. I am delighted to hear of others having positive experiences and sharing. The number one piece of feedback I got was "you are so comfortable with this and it shows, that helped us allot and took out the awkwardness to a large extent"

It sounds like you are at the same place with yourself and this projects and others reflect it back as you have experienced it will only get better!

[Julia-Madrid]

Thanks Erica... we need to show that all women are equally capable in whichever industry we choose.  I admire your courage... oil and gas... fantastic.  Good luck!!!

julia

[Erica_Y]

Thanks Julia I took some big steps early on that set the stage for everything else to come. Funny thing you should mention the "capability of women " which really applies to the Boardroom in my organization and I wanted to leverage that as much as possible. I will share a bit of my story.......

Back in Jan. I flew to Houston (still in boy mode) as I went full-time in April. I set up a appointment with the Chief People Officer of the company who happens to be female , one of the longest standing Executives and sits on the Board of Directors and came out to her sharing my plans and goals. I had two reasons for this. The first main one was that she carried significant politcal organizational power and influnence especially with the CEO and to have her support would set the tone for the organization. The second reason was to get a read on the temperature of the organization to go the distance with me as policy is one thing having the backing and someone to set the tone at the highest levels is a whole other level.

I was super nervous Jan 05 , however when I came out and we talked for a good hour I walked out amazed and tremendously relieved. Depending how the meeting went I was either staying my first choice or planning for a job search. HR Policy alone was not good enough for me I wanted the political org. support. She was fully supportive and encouraging, becoming my support sponsor and she pulled in the CLC (Chief Legal counsel) who is also female as it turns out to help build out the legal support I needed just in case. She managed the Executive Management side of things which went really well.

From that point on it was still nerve wrecking till I came out in April as Erica. I announced it organizationally a month before I showed up at work as Erica. The reception and support has been overwhelmingly  positive and wonderful with even the client base and our contractors taking it in stride if they happen to know I am a special girl

I am currently recovering from FFS (full meal deal) and then I will be back at it with a new me to introduce again 

Julia keep moving forward and living a positive journey as it is important for us special girls to read but it is more important for the general population to see and experience this as well. We are just like everybody else on this blue marble wanting to enjoy, live, contribute and make a difference in our lives and others in a positive way.☺️

[Julia-Madrid]

Hiya Erica

All the best with your FFS recovery - I'm 10 days away from going in for mine.

Wow - so you also appear to be with a rather progressive company.  Mine is kind-of weird - over 100,000 people and no formal LBGT policy.  I think the unofficial line is "who cares, as long as you do your job."  I'm in a strange position, in that I belong to a small global team, but also report locally for certain activities.  Using this was part of my strategy, and yes, I planned it in serious detail. 

When I came out, I started with our in-house medic and she opened the door to local HR where the woman is also regional HR head.  I provided her with a 4-page roadmap to be used in the case where there was no official policy for this (there wasn't!) and made it clear that HR needed to do very little for me.  I then spoke to my local manager, who by great fortune would have loved to have been a psychologist, but chose to become an engineer because it pays better.  He gave me massive support.  That was followed by my true international manager, and then by a local director who had told me he wants me on his team.  So I prepared two safely cusions in the case of my primary plan not working, which was to stay in my current team.  Oh, and I did speak to a friend in a totally different industry who had offered me an "if all else fails" position in his company.

I guess we must also recognise that we were reasonably empowered people before we made this change, and there's no doubt that this helped a lot.  I do feel for some of our younger sisters who are just starting out in their working lives and find themselves in front of prejudiced or uncomfortable recruiters.   

I have no idea what's going to happen next, though I am being transitioned into a more customer-facing role, which is an enormous show of support.  This week I have a few customer meetings, which wiill be quite illuminating.  I just hope they will be more interested in the message than in the messenger.

One thing which amused me is that, following my email announcement two days ago, it was clear that colleagues started looking for pictures of me.  I control my image quite carefully but there are a few old archival pics that Google has found of me.  And I subsequently received a modest flurry on Linked in connection requests.

Which brings me to a strange point where I would ask for your feedback.  Many people in your company now know you as a special girl.  Would you say this has affected your visibility (and opportunities) posiively, negatively, or not in any notable way?

Hugs from Madrid
Julia

[peky]

Congratulaciones mi querida amiga, que todo marche a biento en popa,

carinos y besos !

P