Letting the fact that I'm trans discourage me from dating

[Brandon]

All my experiences were bad all throughout my freshman and sophomore year, This year I met a girl she's a freshmen and well lets just call her A she sees me as a biological male and doesn't know that I'm trans yet because I don't wanna just broadcast that to someone I'm still trying to get to know, A is a freshman I mean she's really nice to me we text alot I can also tell that she is attracted to me, But I feel like theirs no use in trying to get with her because I feel like I'm a deal breaker for her even though she doesn't seem like shes all that interested in sex but still I wish I was nomal that way I could have asked her out by know even wrote her poem for V day and she loved it even her teacher was like you need to get with him because everyone though my poem was sweet and people are saying we would make a cute couple I'm just scared though I always feel like no girl would want to date a guy like me...... idk i'm just nervous I really don't know how to bring it up or how to, I feel like she would accept its just my age.

[Declan.]

The right girl won't feel that way. If she does, she's not the one for you.

[Brandon]

Yea I know I just hope she is for once

[Cloudchamber]

It sounds like she's into you Brandon! I would go for it and don't let being trans discourage you. Of course, if your relationship gets serious, you'll have to tell her. But as Delcan. said, if she's right for you she'll be cool about. And regarding the age thing, I knew several couples in high school with a two year age difference, it's not that big of a deal. So yeah, I would say go for it. Good luck

[Brandon]

Yea I guess your right ill try it out and see how it goes

[GnomeKid]

Hell, you're further along in the dating world than I was as a sophomore in HS, and I went on to have a meaningful long-term relationship just out of HS.  Sure it sucks that its not just so easy as it could be if one wasn't trans, but it certainly isn't impossible. 

I transitioned in college, and learned from my room mate that lots of girls in the department were interested in me.  They all had met me as a girl, they all saw me go through surgery and then start hormones, and they all (assumably I guess I don't know them that well) were pretty much 100% straight.  I didn't do anything about it because of where I was in my own head, but its certainly not inconceivable to have a straight woman attracted to a transman.  Happens all the time. 

Another important thing to remember is that just because a girl likes guys doesn't mean shes got a big thing for dicks.  Certainly some do, but definitely not all.  Even so, romantic attraction can often alter what one previously thought they wanted.

[Elijahwaits]

Good luck! I hope it all works out. I agree with everyone so far.

[Brandon]

Hell, you're further along in the dating world than I was as a sophomore in HS, and I went on to have a meaningful long-term relationship just out of HS.  Sure it sucks that its not just so easy as it could be if one wasn't trans, but it certainly isn't impossible. 

I transitioned in college, and learned from my room mate that lots of girls in the department were interested in me.  They all had met me as a girl, they all saw me go through surgery and then start hormones, and they all (assumably I guess I don't know them that well) were pretty much 100% straight.  I didn't do anything about it because of where I was in my own head, but its certainly not inconceivable to have a straight woman attracted to a transman.  Happens all the time. 

Another important thing to remember is that just because a girl likes guys doesn't mean shes got a big thing for dicks.  Certainly some do, but definitely not all.  Even so, romantic attraction can often alter what one previously thought they wanted.

I'm a Jr not a sophomore and I've never even had a gf because I got rejected all the damn time, But like I said I'll see what happens.

[GnomeKid]

I'm a Jr not a sophomore and I've never even had a gf because I got rejected all the damn time, But like I said I'll see what happens.

Ah, my mistake.  Either way though... I didn't have a gf until college (not that this is a matter of comparison, really).  I didn't really ask anyone out either though.

In general high school isn't really a great time to be different in any way as it is.  Not saying you shouldn't be yourself.  Eventually you'll find someone who is into you and doesn't care what other people think.  I got lucky having weird nerd friends who loved queers (some odd social bubble I fell into in a school of prep-->-bleeped-<-s) and a personality which tends to tell people I'll just shrug and walk away if they try to open their mouths to me, so I never got harassed for pretty much anything.  I did, however, have friends who were harassed at the same school even for being gay - much less trans.

  Maybe a lot of your rejections have been more about what these girls thought other people would say to/about them rather than really having anything to do with their feelings towards you.  After high school it seems people stop giving such a ->-bleeped-<- about these things.  You're not enclosed with the same people for days - years - and dependent upon that acceptance and social interaction for what feels like the rest of your life. 

I know it sucks.  Just another thing to wait for in life.  Wait for hormones, wait for surgery, wait to the accepted, wait to get out of your hometown...

That being said its not a guarantee that you'll have to wait at all.  You could get a gf within the next month.  Its completely possible, and the more your peers become used to your male status the more likely it becomes.  That being said being in the same boat years after high school dating is still a hard subject to breach, but for me its more about my issues than those of other people (as I sort of mentioned in the previous post). 

[Brandon]

Its alright, And yea it does suck especially when you see all your boys in relationships or taking pictures together and hugging and kissing. I just don't like the idea of having to wait , All I can do is hope and pray that she is accepting, I'm getting tired of rejection when I have so much to offer but no girl will take it.

[invisiblemonsters]

i'm gonna weigh in on this because although i'm not as young as you, i am in school and have the same worries. i know i will find a woman who will accept me for who i am (my ex was a straight cis woman for example), it's still hard. i'm stealth, i pass even without being on t yet and i still find this aspect of it all making me anxious. trust me though, people will surprise you and even if she doesn't, it won't be hard to meet other women because you have sooo much time and sooo many more experiences you haven't even got to yet!!

you just gotta be yourself man. you choose when to disclose it, etc. in the end telling someone you're trans is just like telling someone about yourself when you're on a date. you might not discuss everything in the first date but eventually, you get to the heavier stuff. don't let it put you off though because when you find someone who is accepting and loving and will be there through your journey, you'll be glad all the others said no because it lead you up to someone who is awesome.

[Brandon]

I guess your right.

[Calder Smith]

I'm glad you found a girl that's into you. I say you should just go for it and see what kind of girl she is before you tell her. Make sure you can trust her. If she doesn't accept you, she's not worth it.