Battling that should'nt be

[mowdan6]

So in my local trans group, all of a sudden transwomen are posting on their pages, hatred against transmen.  Saying that transmen have no idea of the struggle they go through and don't have it as hard as they do.  I will say I do believe transwomen have a harder time initially.  Coming out and dealing with more discrimination.  but in one way, we guys have a harder time.  If you are a guy that needs complete surgery, and you don't come from money, or can't afford insurance, you get stopped very quick in your track.  And why are we having this infighting?  Makes no sense to me.

[Sheala]

your right, it makes no since to have all this infighting. we all go through simular struggels. granted yes transmen generaly have less stigma and horrassment from society, but in the long run transwomen finish better..... but thats wrong, i dont know the right word though.

[Michelle123]

The main issue that we all deal with is lack of acceptance.  We can at least show that to others as an example of how humans should behave. 

There is all different variables in who has it easier.  A transwomen who makes the transition at 18 has a really different journey than a transwomen at 50.  In the end, I think we just need to accept each other, accept our differences,  Hopefully, most of can then find some happiness is our own little world.

[Sheala]

The main issue that we all deal with is lack of acceptance.  We can at least show that to others as an example of how humans should behave. 

There is all different variables in who has it easier.  A transwomen who makes the transition at 18 has a really different journey than a transwomen at 50.  In the end, I think we just need to accept each other, accept our differences,  Hopefully, most of can then find some happiness is our own little world.

that i compleatly agree with. I know my transition so far *knock on wood* has been a breaze. then again i have a very large and wonderfull support system.

[Felix]

It's too complicated to reduce like that. I feel like I have it easier than most transwomen I know, but because I didn't know other transmen existed until I was in my late twenties, I spent most of my life thinking of myself as more of a failure than I actually am. I also grew up without the privilege that people who appear to be male have, and I have to deal with people who think I'm a lesbian or who think I'm a woman who pretends to be a man just so I can get extra rights and respect, etc etc etc. I am hugely biased toward my personal problems being more serious than problems I don't have.

This topic comes up endlessly with different wordings. We have to be careful not to get too easy with our beliefs and assumptions. Even when we are careful it is a minefield to compare one minority group to another.

[mrs izzy]

I live and see both spectrum each and every day.

Let me say it is equal in every way. Yes a few of the surgeries are out of reach for many but in day to day living we all share the same discrimination.

When you really break things down cost can come to close to about the same. Yes if one seeks out a phallo it will cost big $ but electrolysis is also a huge chuck of $ for the ladies.

Anyway we are all the same in the eyes of society. We need to help each other get past the hardships the best we can.

Isabell

[Colleen♡Callie]

That's horrible.  There's no reason to be turning on our own.  As many have stated we need to stick together and accept and support one another.

There are issues faced that tend to lean heavily on the transwomen side of things and issues faced that tend to lean heavily on the transmen side of things, and PLENTY of issues both our sides share that are equally relateable whether or not we are transwomen or transmen.  We share a lot more issues than we don't.

And whether or not one side or the other has it harder, it's pointless to state so.  The hardships and struggles of transmen are just as crucial, important and valid as those of transwomen.  We get invalidated enough already from a society stacked against us, its useless to contribute to that invalidation and discrimination.

It doesn't matter who you are or what group you belong to, you hardship and struggle should never be invalidated.  There's always someone that has it worse than you, always.  That doesn't mean what you're dealing with isn't important either.

[JulieC.]

It doesn't matter who you are or what group you belong to, you hardship and struggle should never be invalidated.  There's always someone that has it worse than you, always.

I couldn't agree more.  It seems it is human nature to feel what you are going through is the hardest worst thing possible.  Every other being may have difficulties but they are not as big as mine.  It's just not true.

I don't have any understanding why there would be infighting between transmen and transwomen.  I get why cis men and women don't understand us.  But we should understand and support each other and not worry about who has easier.  None of it is easy.

[gennee]

The need for respect in the trans community is greatly needed. Each person's experience is important. Difference helps us to see that we all have things in common. Look at it this way: when you share your particular experience with a group of people there may be someone in your midst who may be struggling with the same issue(s).

I love reading about others journeys and we should try to understand the one different from who we are. If each group ghettoizes themselves into cliques then we'll always remain divided. Those who are against us see this divide and see us as a carnival act. A second point is that we need to stop seeing ourselves as victims. Yes, we've had a hard time in some cases but now the chance to live the life that you really want to live. Living in fear and self-loathing only leads to misery and regret.

[Jessica Merriman]

Even my Psychologist didn't know about this issue until he found out for himself.

[Asche]

My guess would be that what you're seeing is some mix of (male) entitlement and misogyny.

If you look in the cis world, you see that a lot of men grow up with a sense that men and their concerns are automatically more important than women and their concerns.  A fair number of these have contempt for women, too.  These attitudes don't necessarily go away just because someone realizes they are trans.  I've tried certain TG and CDing sites (which shall remain nameless) which are MAAB dominated and, for all that they talk about being women inside (or having a female self), the sexism and misogyny is not a lot different from othere male-dominated spaces, and it's made me wary of getting together with TGs in real life.  One of the reasons I prefer Susan's is that I haven't seen much sexism here and the number of FAABs seems to be about the same as the number of MAABs (to the extent I can tell)  -- at least in the forums I frequent (mainly this one and the Anodrogyne forum.)

My guess is the motivations of the transwomen who are expressing hatred towards trans men is not much different from the motivations of men who express hatred towards women in other corners of the Internet (and in Real Life(tm))  In both cases, it has less to do with reality than with what's going on inside their heads.

[Colleen♡Callie]

My guess would be that what you're seeing is some mix of (male) entitlement and misogyny.

If you look in the cis world, you see that a lot of men grow up with a sense that men and their concerns are automatically more important than women and their concerns.  A fair number of these have contempt for women, too.  These attitudes don't necessarily go away just because someone realizes they are trans.  I've tried certain TG and CDing sites (which shall remain nameless) which are MAAB dominated and, for all that they talk about being women inside (or having a female self), the sexism and misogyny is not a lot different from othere male-dominated spaces, and it's made me wary of getting together with TGs in real life.  One of the reasons I prefer Susan's is that I haven't seen much sexism here and the number of FAABs seems to be about the same as the number of MAABs (to the extent I can tell)  -- at least in the forums I frequent (mainly this one and the Anodrogyne forum.)

My guess is the motivations of the transwomen who are expressing hatred towards trans men is not much different from the motivations of men who express hatred towards women in other corners of the Internet (and in Real Life(tm))  In both cases, it has less to do with reality than with what's going on inside their heads.

Excellent point.  I've seen the same misogyny and sexism on other TG sites.  It's always sad to see though.