Anyone else notice this or can relate to this?

[Darrin Scott]

I've noticed something the longer I've been transitioning. I'm starting to feel like I don't belong in trans spaces because I'm not facing the same issues other trans dudes are facing anymore. I'm getting top surgery in 20 days, I pass 100%, I'm on T, my name is legally changed etc etc. I don't face the issues people are facing early in their transition anymore and in a lot of trans spaces, I find, are catered to that. Not that it's a bad thing, but when you DO reach a point in your transition where things like passing, bathrooms, names, getting on T etc aren't an issue anymore, where do you go? Who do you talk to? I've noticed on Susans itself that most of the front page of the FTM section alone is stuff catered towards people either pre everything or within a few months of their transition. It's not a bad thing and I'm not knocking it, but I'm experiencing that there is a life after the actual transition and there is a point where these things aren't in the forefront of your mind anymore. Can anyone relate? I've noticed that people tend to drop off the planet after a certain point in transition. Even here. I've noticed people come and go, which I know is the nature of a internet forum, but even more so in trans spaces where the further along you are, the less you are present in trans spaces. I was wondering if maybe we need a sub forum for people further along like the non transitioning forum or something? I don't know. I've just been down about it lately.

[Kreuzfidel]

I can relate, Darrin.

You and I started our transitions pretty much around the same time - so I'm also beyond that "discovery" stage, so to speak.  I agree with you in that a lot of "trans* spaces", especially support-type places, are geared towards those new to transition because they don't have the same knowledge of where to turn, what to do, etc. as those of us further along do.

That being said, I belong to a Facebook group called "Post-Transition FTMs" for guys further along in their transitions or those who have completed their surgeries.

I agree that we need a space here for those of us further along the road - there "is" the Post-Operative Life board here, but it's mostly dominated by the ladies - in fact, I never see a single post there by an FTM.  Maybe something like a child board in each area (MTF and FTM) for "Post-Operative Life" or "Life After Transition"... I dunno.  Would be nice, I suppose.

I think that it would be good to have a place like that because a lot of us are at different places in our lives altogether - yes, transitioning is no longer at the forefront, but there are other issues that we now have to face since we are perceived as men in the public - and now perhaps we should discuss things such as "men's issues" or what it means to be perceived wholly as male and how that affects us.  There is potential for discussion there - I just don't know if the Mods and Admin would support it.

[MacG]

I'm just starting to transition. But your post reminds me of how I felt after coming out as gay in my teens. There was a time of so much discovery and learning... Then kinda done. I still enjoy queer space, but don't feel a need for "support" anymore.
Ok, two things:
1) newer guys find a lot of value from the perspective of more experienced guys.
2) I would really support a post-transition type board. It would be enlightening to read of experiences/questions that come up after transition.

[Darrin Scott]

I can relate, Darrin.

You and I started our transitions pretty much around the same time - so I'm also beyond that "discovery" stage, so to speak.  I agree with you in that a lot of "trans* spaces", especially support-type places, are geared towards those new to transition because they don't have the same knowledge of where to turn, what to do, etc. as those of us further along do.

That being said, I belong to a Facebook group called "Post-Transition FTMs" for guys further along in their transitions or those who have completed their surgeries.

I agree that we need a space here for those of us further along the road - there "is" the Post-Operative Life board here, but it's mostly dominated by the ladies - in fact, I never see a single post there by an FTM.  Maybe something like a child board in each area (MTF and FTM) for "Post-Operative Life" or "Life After Transition"... I dunno.  Would be nice, I suppose.

I think that it would be good to have a place like that because a lot of us are at different places in our lives altogether - yes, transitioning is no longer at the forefront, but there are other issues that we now have to face since we are perceived as men in the public - and now perhaps we should discuss things such as "men's issues" or what it means to be perceived wholly as male and how that affects us.  There is potential for discussion there - I just don't know if the Mods and Admin would support it.

Thanks for the heads up on the facebook group. I requested to join. That's the thing, I don't think it's terrible that there are threads for guys early on, but I'd like a place to discuss things about transition as you progress.

[stephaniec]

I'd like to see more with both ftm's and mtf's again everybody needs space to strive.

[AdamMLP]

Why not just make threads here? People won't tang about things if they don't think others are interested too.

[GnomeKid]

Hmm yes.. I suppose so.  I guess I figure as time goes on its not that one doesn't belong anymore, but rather that one's role within the space changes from the one seeking help and knowledge to the one giving it. 

Also, no one is stopping anyone from asking questions about things later on in transition... I'm about 5 years post everything except bottom surgery, and I'll still ask my questions here.  Sure, I don't have as many of them anymore, but isn't that a good thing?

I guess I do see the merit of a "post transition" kind of board, maybe shared with the ladies... To some extent it just ends up breaking up the boards so much that it becomes a pain in the ass to check all the different FTM sections.  With a more central board more people see every post. 

[Kreuzfidel]

It's not that people can't ask those kinds of questions here at all - it's that most of the topics that don't relate to "just starting out" in whatever form tend to get swallowed up in one day by all of the posts about passing, girls, etc. because there are more guys active here who are at stage of their transitions.

[notyouraverageguy]

I feel the same, but I'm not post any surgeries.
Just t, and have not had many changes.
I guess its more like the whole first hear people are interested in all the new changes but after that people don't seem so interested. Like hey im 26 months on t or something, there's usually not much to share anyways.
I feel like I did get less involved. I also stopped making videos for myself and taking pictures often to document changes.
For me personally, I lost the excitement after a few months of starting. That's only because my transition has been super slow with changes.

[aleon515]

I know this happens. The gals hang around support groups because many of them continue to have problems passing and so on. However many of the guys do not continue. I have made a point of sticking around so that younger guys have someone who they can look up to, so to speak. OTOH, it isn't for everybody to do this. But just a comment in case someone didn't think of this.

--Jay