Losing My Respect . . .

[Gina Taylor]

A month ago, I sent an e-mail to my cousin letting her know how things were going in my life since I had moved out. It took them a month to reply. She apologized for the delay saying that the subject matter was very hard to understand. Unfortunately being family, she doesn't want me to transition.  She's claiming that since I've been out I can easily get into trouble with the law or with people who will see you as a FREAK. And then she tells me that I am not passable as a woman.

So in my response, I gave her enough information to educate her. And still she didn't know what to do, so she contacted my mom and they decided to sugar coat it and just tell me that as long as I write to them as XXXX we'll remain as cousins.

Yesterday I was wearing a polyester pair of pants and a black shirt. As soon as I got into my mom's vehicle, she commented about it that when I'm with her I'll wear clothes that are for men. She brought it to my therapist's attention, and he thought my outfit looked good. It had a Miami flavor. 

I told my therapist about the bad choice in buying a used car last week, and how I should hve went to my payee first to see if I could have afforded it with what I make through my disability. Then mom told him that I had went there dressed as a woman. He told her that it didn't make any difference because all that they wanted to do was sell a car. {He was smiling at me.} Mom thinks that she can use it against them now with my mental incompitence because of the way I was dressed. So I told her that that was discrimination against all transsexuals.  I boldly told her that because I am a transsexual who is going through a transition that you're going to hold it against me is discrimination. My therapist sat across from me smiling again. He was proud of me for finally standing up. My mom now fears me because I've done that. I've told her that she can't stop me from being who I want to be.
 
We argued about the fact that I was not born with this but it happened as a result from my accident. My therapist's theory is that with the damage done to my brain and then with the hormones and puberty that it turned me into a woman, and then with my psychiatrist diagnosing me with Gender Identity Disorder. 

Apparently all that she wants is for me to remain as a male and not be true to myself. 

Mom commented about the fact that I buy my clothes from garage sales, Goodwill and Wal-Mart. So I can't be well dressed. I don't have to spend thousands of dollars to look good.  I told her that the other day I was at the bank, and that one of the bankers commented on how nice I looked. I was dressed in a pair of capris and a blouse by Jaclyn Smith.

[suzifrommd]

Mom commented about the fact that I buy my clothes from garage sales, Goodwill and Wal-Mart. So I can't be well dressed.

Or maybe it means you're a really astute shopper. Finding items you love among thrift shop cacophony is a real skill. I don't have it. I envy you.

I've bought some really lovely things from WalMart. Anyone who assumes stuff from there is junk, is really a snob.

Stay proud of your fashion sense. It's one of the privileges of being a woman!

[Gina Taylor]

Or maybe it means you're a really astute shopper. Finding items you love among thrift shop cacophony is a real skill. I don't have it. I envy you.

I've bought some really lovely things from WalMart. Anyone who assumes stuff from there is junk, is really a snob.

Stay proud of your fashion sense. It's one of the privileges of being a woman!

Exactly what I was thinking Suzi. I know that I have a good sense of color schemes. My mom laughs at me because I pick up blouses for $4.00 at Wal-Mart and I can make them look good with anything. Y'know it's that privilege of being a woman!

[JulieC.]

My wife buys most of her clothes from thrift stores.  She is the ultimate recycler.  She buys a few outfits...wears them 3 - 4 times and donates them back.  Then she goes and buys more.  She won't admit it but I swear she bought the same shirt more than once.

[Colleen♡Callie]

I have a friend a few hours south of me who plans to take me shopping when I visit her again (which will be soon).  There are a few thrift stores near her that she shops at and those are the places we plan to hit. 

Thrift stores are simply second hand, and doesn't say anything about the quality of style.

I am sorry that your family isn't accepting you for you.  Stay strong.  You are doing what is best for you and that's something to be proud of.

[gennee]

Gina, I've purchased 98% of my clothes at thrift sales and places like Goodwill, Salvation Army and Housing Works. If you know how to coordinate your clothing, then you're ahead of the game. I learned how to do this when I was a teen.

[meow8]

Hi Gina,

I'm sorry that things aren't going so well between you and your mom I'd think most moms would like to see their children leading a happy life. It's your life so it's up to you to make the most of it. So good of you to stand up to her. I hope that in time, she'll come to realise how much happier you are by being your true self

[ErinWDK]

Gina,

I am sad to hear how your family is refusing to accept your transition.  You had posted another thread where it looked like there was maybe a bit of a ray of sunshine breaking through the gloom.  This newer bit of a look at the situation makes it look harder.

You need to be true to you.  I can truly say that trying to bottle things up as they ask is not goign to work.  I bottled things up for a good 25 years and all it did was get WORSE.  You are on the road doing what you need to do.  Your avatar does pass.  Hang in there.  The fight is worth what it takes as it is the only route to being able to accept yourself.

Oh, and I envy you being able to shop in thrift shops and come out with an attractive outfit.


Erin

[Rachel]

Buffalo Exchange high end thrift is a awesome place in Philadelphia to buy name brand at a huge discount. Lots of people shop there and it has fantastic deals.

[Ms Grace]

Sounds like your mother is throwing every and any objection she can think of at you, seems a bit desperate if she's complaining about the clothes you buy! Good on you for standing up to her, Gina.

[izzy]

There are just jealous your a  better shopper than them

[big kim]

If it looks good wear it,if it looks good and it's cheap even better.(I'm half Scottish and like a bargain)Not everyone can do it,I know men and women who wear expensive designer clothes and look like tramps who sleep in a bus shelter.I also know men and women who wear second hand and bargain clothes and look really elegant and classy.Not everyone can pull this off,the secret is to get colours,styles and patterns that compliment you and avoid unsuitable styled clothes clashing colours and patterns.

[Gina Taylor]

My wife buys most of her clothes from thrift stores.  She is the ultimate recycler.  She buys a few outfits...wears them 3 - 4 times and donates them back.  Then she goes and buys more.  She won't admit it but I swear she bought the same shirt more than once.

Hey, I see nothing wrong with the way your wife does things. Even if she does buy the same clothes over again. But on a fixed budget, I can't be buying all my clothes from the expensive stores that my mom likes to shop at, so I just do what I can with what I've got.  And there's always a  large selection at the  thrift stores!

BTW, if y'all look at my avatar, the top and the pants I'm wearing are from Wal-Mart and the shoes are from Wal-Mart as well.  Everything cost me under $30.00!

[Gina Taylor]

I have a friend a few hours south of me who plans to take me shopping when I visit her again (which will be soon).  There are a few thrift stores near her that she shops at and those are the places we plan to hit. 

Thrift stores are simply second hand, and doesn't say anything about the quality of style.

I am sorry that your family isn't accepting you for you.  Stay strong.  You are doing what is best for you and that's something to be proud of.

Hey Colleen, I hope that you have fun with your friend. Very good point that you've that thrift stores are simply second hand and it doesn't say anything about the quality of style. 

It's been tough against my family not accepting me, but I know what I'm doing and my friends and my therapist are all behind. me. 

[Gina Taylor]

Gina, I've purchased 98% of my clothes at thrift sales and places like Goodwill, Salvation Army and Housing Works. If you know how to coordinate your clothing, then you're ahead of the game. I learned how to do this when I was a teen.

That's really cool Gennee that we have something in common! Coordinating has never been a problem. You can pretty much put anything with a pair of jeans, and  two pieces are never a problem either. I just bought this nice dark blue skirt and a black blouse  went nicely with it.  Floral blouses goes well with almost anything as well. 

[Gina Taylor]

Gina,

I am sad to hear how your family is refusing to accept your transition.  You had posted another thread where it looked like there was maybe a bit of a ray of sunshine breaking through the gloom.  This newer bit of a look at the situation makes it look harder.

You need to be true to you.  I can truly say that trying to bottle things up as they ask is not goign to work.  I bottled things up for a good 25 years and all it did was get WORSE.  You are on the road doing what you need to do.  Your avatar does pass.  Hang in there.  The fight is worth what it takes as it is the only route to being able to accept yourself.

Oh, and I envy you being able to shop in thrift shops and come out with an attractive outfit.


Erin

These days y'know Erin, my visits to them are very sparse,  and it's perfectly fine with me. I'm moving up the scale again where I'm almost at 90% full time. I figure that by my birthday {June} I should be 100% full time. Thank you for your sweet compliment about my avatar.  Thanks again, but it's really just a matter of being able to have a good eye and being able to put colors together that look good.

[Gina Taylor]

Sounds like your mother is throwing every and any objection she can think of at you, seems a bit desperate if she's complaining about the clothes you buy! Good on you for standing up to her, Gina.

It's fun to finally have a back bone, y'know Grace. I quickly developed it at my therapists last week and my therapist was all smiles!

[Gina Taylor]

There are just jealous your a  better shopper than them

Probably!!!