downward spiral

[kellypatrick]

The last month sucked. Got dwi have been in psych ward for a month fo Dr attempting suicide. The psych ward was not to bad I talked to a psychologist and she was very supportive of me and we focused almost all of our discussions about how I need to be more open about being trans so I can start loving myself . The psych ward is at the VA here in Tampa theTheystaff was very supportive calling me kelly and even ms gartland a couple of times. It is now in my Va records that I Am trans. We had to go to a lot of groups but I never told my full story to the other Vets. Some were really unstable and I did not feel comfortable.After leaving the psych ward I was placed in program that would house me and treat me fore my depression and alcoholism. The psychologist even arranged for me to be able to wear female clothes if I chose to. I was going to feel out the surroundings before doing so but would als have to out shopping again since my clothes were leftbat the hotel when I got baker acted. After one day here I found out this isnt a place where I would be safe to do so. We went to an aa class and the other gus first turned to talking about gay people some said they had no problems others said they had problems about gay people. Then the started talking about ->-bleeped-<-s and they were all against them and some even said the will beat up a trans person. OBVIOSLY I started gettind depressed again. The next day I got a text that my ex sister in law was going to file a missing person report because I have not contacted anyone since myy baker act. So I got really anxious about having to contact her and got even more depressed and was planning on at the end of day going back to my dorm room grabbing my clothes and finding a room for a while to get drunk then kill my self. But we had one more class that day and I told them about hoow I was feeling. They were all supportive offering to be ther with me when I made the call and als just told me that not telling them where I am was an awful thing to do. Thanks to that support I didnt do as I planned and went ahead and made the call. She was very supportive and then her mother and sister texted me with their suppot and telling them they love me .  I am still a little depressed about not being myself but think that I am going to ask my psychiarist to give me hormones at least I can start that when I am here.

[gennee]

Kelly, it's wonderful that you have support from your family. That's a great start. Now you can be who you really want to be. Self acceptance is the road to self discovery.

[Jamie D]

Kelly, even though you had a bad month, and got committed, look at it as an opportunity to turn a corner and start in a new direction.

Any time you need to talk, drop me a PM.  I am on the west coast, so our hours may not sync, but I will reply.

[Jessica Merriman]

I wish this was more- I just read an article about a 20 year Navy seal undergoing transition and she is so gorgeous. Good luck baby.

[kellypatrick]

Thanks fore the kind words ladirs I am feeling better every day.

[kelly_aus]

Here's a hug from one Kelly to another.. 

[Ms Grace]

Sounds like you made it through a very tough month and got the right kind of support which is great. Hopefully it was just a rough patch and things really start to look up for you from here on in!