Apartment trans questions

[transgressingwaffle]

You could try finding someone in a support group. If there is no one there, I'm sure someone will know a supportive family or friend who needs a room mate as well.

[Jess42]

Uhh, now THIS is one thing I meant by, how to go about that? See, it is NOT the general public's need to know nor should they know imo that anyone is trans. outing yourself like that could have serious problems too. (Which is why I'd never do such a thing in the first place and for other reasons obviously) So, exactly how can one go about advertising/trying to find a room mate without letting the general public know? The only thing I was able to come up with is, not mentioning it till you meet them but I have no clue if that's even possible. Like, do people normally say their gender when advertising for a room mate? If so, makes it harder to inform them and, and.. oh I don't know how else to say what I'm trying to say/express/ask but I'm sure some of you know what I mean and such. lol

No you don't have to tell them upfront in the add. While talking on the phone you could mention it. Or that you live an alternative lifestyle and let them go from that. In an add you wouldn't even have to give your name. You can have in it to call first. I would never have them over and then lay it on them without having a friend there just in case. There are a lot of messed up people in the world just on the edge of sanity so always be wary of that. but I see where you are coming from about not knowing how to go about it. In this day and age a lot of men and women are roommates that have no relation other than being roommates.

You could try finding someone in a support group. If there is no one there, I'm sure someone will know a supportive family or friend who needs a room mate as well.

That is an excellent idea and probably the way I would go.

[Shana-chan]

In case I forget, thanks everyone for all the advice from past, present and future. 

You could try finding someone in a support group. If there is no one there, I'm sure someone will know a supportive family or friend who needs a room mate as well.

No you don't have to tell them upfront in the add. While talking on the phone you could mention it. Or that you live an alternative lifestyle and let them go from that. In an add you wouldn't even have to give your name. You can have in it to call first. I would never have them over and then lay it on them without having a friend there just in case. There are a lot of messed up people in the world just on the edge of sanity so always be wary of that. but I see where you are coming from about not knowing how to go about it. In this day and age a lot of men and women are roommates that have no relation other than being roommates.

That is an excellent idea and probably the way I would go.

Excellent ideas but for some, there are no friends, no support groups (IRL) and in sme cases no family members either who can be there in those cases. So, the only thing I can think of is to tell them via phone, have back ground checks done as suggested earlier and maybe, if the management is there then they can be there for a meet up. Other than that, I got no idea what else someone can do or how they'd go about looking. Does anyone else have any ideas, tips etc.?

[Missadventure]

Ok, so varies from state to state but I'd think so long as cannot discriminate against based on sex is the case then people at least have a legal shot even if it is small and hard to prove. Anyway, new questions which I thought about (Though I may be forgetting some) and boy are they a doozy.  (I've also added them to the OP post)

So, what about room mates? I mean, how hard is it to find one when they know you're trans and should they be told you're trans and how does one go about that when looking for a room mate? 

It varies within states too. Here in Indiana transsexual rights to housing are no protected. In my city they're not protected. In the city across the river they are. I would suggest contacting an LGBT legal resource in the area you live to get a firm answer.

As for roommates. At this point my roommate is the only person on earth who doesn't know I'm in transition. And, I don't know how. It should be more obvious to him than anyone. I moved in as a man, and I'm very clearly not anymore. But, we never really talk beyond basic pleasantries when passing. If he ever stops to say "So... what's going on with you?" I'll tell him. But, I see no point in telling him otherwise. He's not family, or a friend, or anyone else who means anything to me in my life. So, as long as he's respectful around the house, and pays his share of the bills, that's the relationship we have, and I don't owe him any "Hey, guess what? I'm becoming a woman!"

[Hikari]

What about perhaps advertising for a roommate in an LGBT paper, I remember seeing ads like this in the Washington Blade, I assume it would work or people wouldn't bother paying for ads (I assume they pay since the Blade is given out for free lots of times near my old Metro stop, and they gotta pay for it somehow). Now, if you are worried about someone getting your number just buy one of those ultra cheap prepaid phones for $20 and use that number.

In an LGBT newspaper it shouldn't be a problem to mention being transgender, in fact I would mention it because not every person in the LGB is fine with the T.


That being said all of that only really helps if you even have a local LGBT paper. Not every city does.

[JenniL]

FHA protects you and if feel discriminate you can also reach out to your state attorney. 

I told my apartment my new name had the change my name. Just so I can get my new name establish on my credit reports just for that simple fact. A name change simply will not change that easily with the credit bureaus.

I honestly had no issues with with apartments when coming out. Felt agitated yes.

[Jess42]

In case I forget, thanks everyone for all the advice from past, present and future. 

Excellent ideas but for some, there are no friends, no support groups (IRL) and in sme cases no family members either who can be there in those cases. So, the only thing I can think of is to tell them via phone, have back ground checks done as suggested earlier and maybe, if the management is there then they can be there for a meet up. Other than that, I got no idea what else someone can do or how they'd go about looking. Does anyone else have any ideas, tips etc.?

I think that you got the right idea. If you have no one else that can be there then the landlord should be able to help you out with that one. If the person asks just tell them it is policy of the management. Definitely a background check is a must trans or not. Is there not an area around you that has a few LGBT groups or places that GLBT groups frequent? If so advertise in that area but still go through the background check and other precautions.

I just saw what I did with the letters and I can never get the letters right. Is it LGBT, GLBT, BLGT? I think I'm gonna' start using TLGB since the T is me. As a matter of fact we should all start using the letter that pertains to us first in the mix and that way no one is last in line.