Hi Mel,
Two things. First, where ever you got your first letter from, is it possible to contact them and ask for a revised version of it, as you need it now for the intention it was originally drafted for?
Secondly, if I understand you correctly about "pre assessment". I'm assuming this is for surgery pre assessment and not insurance pre assessment.
Pre assessment for surgery is a simple matter of meeting with Dr.Bowers in her San Mateo office so she can determine your psychological understanding of what you want to do. She also takes time to examine what you have to offer, physically, so she can discuss expectations, outcomes and the obvious risks associated.
I had one with with her this time last year. Fabulous bonding moment. She's a remarkable woman and a good surgeon. I totally get why you'd have a woman perform his procedure. The only reason I didn't go with her was the fact she books 12 months out.
In answer to your question about getting your date first, before the insurance is approved; I would think, yes. Insurance company's being a regular pain in the **** for anything, it just a matter of haggling with them. And as Vicky said, Robyn is an artisan when it comes to sorting insurance company's out.
Keep up the great job you're doing. You're nearly there, you can touch it almost. (Just find a nice place to hibernate or 12 months. Waiting can drive you nuts. )
Huggs
Catherine