Does anyone regret FFS?

[missy1992]

Good morning yall!
I was just wondering... does anyone regret having Facial Feminization surgery?
I ask this because this time last year I went under the knife for the complete FFS. I had work done on my forehead, hairline, brow, nose, chine, jaw, and trachea.
Unfortunately I have a case of regret. I don't really know what to say and I am too embarassed to bring the issue up because I initially fought so hard to get this to begin with.

While I really needed a tracheal shave could I just have not done the rest?
First and foremost I have trouble breathing out of one nostril. It is really annoying and I oftentimes have to breath out of my mouth instead.
Secondly, I had work done on my jaw that I now regret. I had no jawline before, I just thought that "packaging" it in made sense (since I did not want to get multiple surgeries). Now however when I look at faces I feel attracted to strong jaw lines and regret getting rid of whatever little I had.

I would share a before and after picture with you all however I am apprehensive about doing so online so i'll have to rule that out unfortunately.

What I ask then is... what do you recomend for me to do to feel at peace with my decision?
Getting MORE jaw work is out of the question for me. I don't want to end up looking like one of those celebrities that got too much work done. I think I will eventually have to get corrective surgery on my nose however.

What do you all suggest I do? Will these feelings pass? I just need a hug on my soul maybe

Sorry to bother you all with my problems. Life for me is good in general otherwise

[mandonlym]

I haven't had FFS but just wanted to give you a virtual hug.

[missy1992]

I haven't had FFS but just wanted to give you a virtual hug.

Thanks
Sometimes thats all I need, a hug. Maybe my feelings are not necessarily about only the FFS. I just feel that mentally I am not in the best place right now and I am afraid to open up to new friends and family because of times past where I have gotten stabbed in the back.
Maybe I should see a psychologist or someone although I am afraid that they too will not be of much help

If anyone has their 2 cents to share thad be very much appreciated

[JourneyingSam]

Massive <<<HUGS>>> Missy.

I can really relate to some of what you said!

I had FFS last summer ... also suffer from nasal blockage-> mouth breathing and also am still experiencing a huge amount of numbness, which has affected both my kissing and playing my sax (Not at the same time I hasten to add!).

Sometimes I kick myself for having it done ...

But the amount of mis-gendering that I have had since is practically zero and whilst there are a few things that are not quite right I'm happy that most of the masculine elements of my face have been softened.

I'm really scared the numbness will never go ... but there is nothing I can do about it.  I have to accept that I cannot change this.

What I've done is not for everyone but I have developed quite a spiritual (most certainly not religious) approach to life and I find it very helpful!

I'm also fortunate to have a couple of close loving friends who I can share this stuff with ... but I also find that sharing it here (and on another TS forums I belong to) with others who "get it" and hear their experience and feel their support has been very helpful!

Sam x

[helen2010]

Missy
As I rushed into FFS not just once but twice without a whole lot of support I shared some of your misgivings.  It took me some time to just recognise my new face as my own, to deal with the trauma and to recover from what is quite serious surgery.  Apart from relatively minor surgery post op recovery really was just a matter of time.
After 3 years the numbness is almost gone, a torn phatysma muscle has been successfully repaired and a skin lift and excessive scarring addressed.
I now own and am very happy with my face.  This was a process and didn't occur overnight.  I hope that you have a similar experience.

[suzifrommd]

+1 for all the honesty in this thread.

I've met a couple of women who've tried to pressure me to have FFS. The women I know who've had it look so great that it's very tempting. But I've heard a lot of stories like the ones here, and I came to the conclusion that I'd only had it if I really needed it - if my life had become unlivable otherwise.

What I'm reading here affirms that.

Hugs and good wishes to all of you for more comfortable times ahead. The body has remarkable abilities to renew itself. I hope that proves to be true for all of you.

[helen2010]

With the wonders of 20/20 hindsight I should have listened to my Chicago endo.  He recommended that I take my time, learn who I am, as my desired appearance could change over time.  He said that I should not opt for FFS too early in my journey.

Needless to say I nodded and then completely ignored his advice.  Soon after receiving this advice I went to Be All and interviewed the leading FFS surgeons.  I asked for quotes and recommendations.   Then when I had an unexpected career break I went ahead - multiple procedures over 2 lengthy operations.  I don't regret the FFS but it was more painful and traumatic than I had anticipated.  Adjusting to my new face also took time. Correcting minor shortcomings and complications also followed as did having to deal with many 'interested friends' who wanted to know what I 'had done' and why.

So while I don't regret FFS I should have taken more time.  My sense is that if I had taken more time I would also have sought a different aesthetic to the one which I chose.  The choice wasn't bad but I think I would have chosen different features and accents if I had taken my time, let the hrt work it's magic and allowed my sense of self and identity to evolve more fully before I locked it in.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Janae]

I had FFS last summer ... also suffer from nasal blockage-> mouth breathing and also am still experiencing a huge amount of numbness, which has affected both my kissing and playing my sax (Not at the same time I hasten to add!).

Have you sought any help for the nasal blockage?

Have you gotten any explanation for the numbness, And where exactly are you experiencing it??

Do you mind saying what Dr. you went to?

[sam79]

I'm pre-FFS at the moment, with about 3 months until my procedure.

Re the nasal blockages, this is one of the things that I will have fixed during the procedure. While it was something I was born with, according to my surgeon, this can happen during a rhinoplasty depending on the degree of change. The procedure to correct mine is called a septoplasty ( and costs more, of course ).

On the cosmetic side of things, I'm only doing a rhino and chin implant. The chin implant is safe, and can be modified / removed later. Though I am making a substantial change to my nose, removing a hump on the bridge and actually making it slightly concave. But staring at photos of the proposed changes, I am happy with them

[missy1992]

Thank you for taking the time to respond, all of you. I wish that I could just get over myself and post pictures online however im not comfortable doing so in this section, maybe in a more private area?

Missy
As I rushed into FFS not just once but twice without a whole lot of support I shared some of your misgivings.  It took me some time to just recognise my new face as my own, to deal with the trauma and to recover from what is quite serious surgery.  Apart from relatively minor surgery post op recovery really was just a matter of time.
After 3 years the numbness is almost gone, a torn phatysma muscle has been successfully repaired and a skin lift and excessive scarring addressed.
I now own and am very happy with my face.  This was a process and didn't occur overnight.  I hope that you have a similar experience.

I really hope so too. I guess i'll go back to my FFS surgeon to have him correct my nose. But then should I trust him again?

Like everyone, I just want to be happy.