Transitioning with a professional career.

[Whynaut]

Hey, I don't want to spam the boards but I had posted this topic in the FTM forum and someone suggested I bring it up out here to get more feedback, which I thought was an excellent idea. Anyway, here is my situation:

Hey all,

I'm new here and just wanted to say hi, and ask for some advice with this issue. I'm in my mid-20s and just getting out of grad school to start my career as a high school teacher. Teachers are constantly in the spotlight of the community, making transitioning extremely difficult.

I'm moving forward with transitioning to the point where I may start T soon. Currently, I intern as a teacher and attend my classes in the evening. My problem is that my current students see me as female, but I want to start my career, this September, as male. Which means it would be ideal to interview as male. Teacher interviews happen from now until September.

I've thought about interviewing as androgynous/gender neutral and coming out to my boss when I sign my contract, letting them know I will be entering as male. Another option is transitioning over the summer (maybe start T in May) and just hoping there are jobs left at the end of summer. A third option is to spend my first year as female and transition over the summer if my admin is supportive.

I've also thought about just starting T now, which will give me the longest time THIS summer to interview. But it also means my current students and colleagues will notice changes (namely, my voice). Are there any medical lies to cover up a deeper voice? Could I just say I got my tonsils out or I had a terrible case of bronchitis?

I'm just looking for suggestions and options here. I am small, with a feminine voice so it'd be difficult to pass in interviews without T.

I have seen a doctor and my blood work is being checked out as we speak. I may be able to start T later this week. Scary and exciting.

[suzifrommd]

But it also means my current students and colleagues will notice changes (namely, my voice). Are there any medical lies to cover up a deeper voice? Could I just say I got my tonsils out or I had a terrible case of bronchitis?

I'm a high school teacher who transitioned on the job. During the 2012-13 academic year, I had begun growing my hair long. I also grew long fingernails and polished them with gloss.  I adopted female mannerisms and practiced walking like a woman. Partway through the year I got my ears pierced.

No one said a thing. My students didn't care, as long as I got up and taught my class every day. Nearly all of my colleagues steadfastly refused to notice. My friends stayed friendly and everyone else, well I really didn't care much about their reaction.

In my experience, physical changes on the job did not become awkward.

It helped that I am in no way ashamed of being transgender or of transitioning, so if someone figured it out or asked me about it (one friend did), I was prepared to come out proudly.

If you want more of what it was like to transition as a teacher, I put a lot of my experiences into a thread:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,131762.0.html

Good luck. I hope it goes well.

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi Whynaut

I started a similar thread a few weeks ago, "Transitioning from a senior position in a large multinational". 

A very common theme in the responses is that strength of character, a positive self-image, and the determination to be a darn good professional are much more important to your working success than almost anything else.

Good luck!
Julia

[Whynaut]

Thanks, Suzi and Julia. It's reassuring to hear positive stories from you two, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around it.

My classmates are interviewing now and I have a potential interview next Thursday, which I am stressed about. My plan is to attend this interview as an androgynous person because I absolutely cannot pass at this point in my transition. If offered the job, I'm not sure whether I should accept it and come out later, or come out before signing the contract. Before signing the contract sounds easier because that way I can be introduced to the staff as male, but I'm worried about them retracting the job offer if I come out before accepting.

Maybe I should just worry about getting my career started first? I have an appointment to start HRT on Saturday when I'll get my first injection, so things will begin to get awkward around summer.

Any insight is greatly appreciated.

[Julia-Madrid]

Hiya Whynaut

My opinion, 100% personal, is that your career must be the priority, although I totally understand and share keenly the importance of proceeding with your transition too.   But it's rather difficult for any of us to perform our transition without money, and that's your career, honey  :-)

Why are you stressing about the possible interview?  If it's purely for professional reasons, well, I can understand, but if it's also to do with your gender, try to separate that out if you can.  Put it in a box and leave it at home.  They are looking to recruit a TEACHER,  not a male or female or trans teacher, and they want a good one - you: someone knowledgeable, professional and confident, and gender is just one layer of who you are as a person.

Once you have the job, your priority must be to make your colleagues and students realise that you are a first-class professional and a solid person.  And take your time to transition. 

I know that it's hard to do this - hell, all of us just want to turn on our target gender as fast as we can, but it's a slow process, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.    One thing my age has shown me (I'm 45) is that we should try enjoy the journey instead of being hung up about where we want to "end up", since you never actually end up anywhere; you establish goals and head to them, but as soon as you reach them or get close to them you're dealing with the next part of life's journey. 

Hope this helps a tiny little bit!

J