Old Feelings

[Two Bodies/Same Soul]

Hi folks i found this site yesterday as i'm currently coming to terms with accepting what iv'e felt ever since i was a really young child. I always through most of my life wanted to be a Girl. Iv'e went through a couple of years in extreme denial by pretending to be a born again christian but now i'm seriously thinking about who i really am in my heart and mind, and all this only at the age of 22! ->-bleeped-<-! It's hard because i'm surrounded by family that love me dearly but many other family members who are rather conservative and some who are just plain judgemental. I remember when i was eleven i first heard of transgender from an episode of oprah, then i learned i wasn't the only boy who wanted to be a girl! In tears i came out to my mom and i can remember she just chalked it up to puberty and sexual confusion, so ignorance is a bit of a problem in the family. I live in virginia in the small but extremly conservative christian community of Lynchburg. I might come out before 2015 or at least before 23. :/

[Skyler]

Hey Fuzed .  I also live in an EXTREME conservative small town, i haven't come out to anyone in school yet.  However I did tell my two best friends and my dad...not my mom yet because its going to be hard for her i think...shes judgmental.  I've completely come to terms with being transgender because im a much happier person knowing i am.  I wouldnt come out until your ready and in a safe position, good luck

[sagitilicious]

Good luck to you. I hope you find the right opportunity to come out and are embraced for it

[V M]

Hi Fuzed 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

[Jessica Merriman]

A big warm welcome the family Fuzed! I come from a small conservative town as well where the whole town still turns out for Friday night high school football. I have the distinction of being the very first Trans girl in our town history! You can imagine how that went! Oh well, what doesn't kill me lets me feminize.*giggle* Anyway, feel free to rant, vent, share good news (we like that a LOT), learn or just have some fun and meet the rest of the family here. Here is a BIG HUG  to welcome you and make you feel right at home! You will find out you have family all over the world now. Just watch out for the Aussie's  they can get a little rowdy!*giggles*

[Jamie D]

Hey there fuzed!  Pleased to meet you.

Be yourself, hon.  Tell those who would judge you that they are not living Christ-like lives.  Even Rev. Pat Robertson said there is "no sin" in being transgendered.

[Two Bodies/Same Soul]

Thank you for the warm welcome everyone. Needless to say i'm scared. I'm questioning whether i would even have the courage to come out much less go on HRT. I'm scared to go on HRT because i don't want to look like a man lady abomination that sounds like Dr. Girlfriend i want to look just like a CIS girl. My immediate family my mom and brother are very tolerant and accepting despite what my mom said to me when i was eleven. My brother is an agnostic who told me that he is very pro LGBT rights. The rest of my family though i doubt will receive my coming out with open arms. My grandmother being one of them, hell she had a problem with me just going on Prozac! Some friends would probably get disgusted seeing as how they are deep in intolerant Christianity. I have a friend whom i still love deeply seeing how he was one of my first REAL friends though he is a lawyer who often crusades against LGBT causes. If you want pray because i'm not sure if i would every have the courage to come out much less start HRT. 

[Jessica Merriman]

I don't think I look like a man lady abomination and I started HRT at 47. I had 28 years as a Paramedic/Firefighter one of the most Alpha jobs on the planet. You should do very well on it at age 22. I can tell you one thing, the feelings you have now will only get worse as the years go by. You would be amazed how much courage you will find when you are living as the person you are comfortable with. So, as I see it here are your choices. Become the real you and live a happy and well adjusted life full of new discoveries -or- live up to every one else's expectations and always carry this secret living with the pain and confusion. It is YOUR life not everyone else's. If people love and care for you they would not leave you because of transition. A TRUE friend would support you and know you are finally happy and free. Make an appointment with a Therapist who has gender experience and at least let them offer their opinion of what they see in you.

[Two Bodies/Same Soul]

Thank you for the encouragment Jessica. I'm going to try to at least talk it over with my mom in the next few months and at least see where i can go from there.

[justjournalhonestly]

I think taking it slow is good to a point, but do be wary of how life can suddenly get dictated for you. I know in my case I was reaching a point of gaining the freedom to sole search at 18, and next thing you know I was a dad and a Marine. I don't regret it, and think it was my destiny to take that path. I do know that I would not have been as terrified then as I am now, at nearly 46 and at least a year from HRT (due to not giving a ->-bleeped-<- about life weight gain to morbid obesity better known as NGSALWG2MO.) Obviously you face your own set of stressful and scary circumstances at young ages, so again take it slow and seek guidance. Just be wary of pitfalls that could force your hand in directions best avoided, so that your happiness and well being get to peak.

And please do listen to Jessica, as in my little time here she has already to be proven one of the world's most supportive and inspirational people! Many on here, so you will be as happy as I know I am in having found Susan's wonderful community.