I may be wrong, but it seems to me that this clinical organization is trying to base its help on the trans people's actual sexual activity, rather than what some one assumes their sexual practices are. If this is the case, as a trans woman, I would not be adverse to answering these questions, if my name was not attached to my answers. I know form my social science major back in the 1960s that when makes up a questionnaire on a particular population of individuals it was best to gather information from this population to develop a questionnaire that was relevant to that population.
Are organizations which are concerned about healthcare for the trans community going to base this healthcare upon uniformed assumptions, or are they going to gather this information from individuals within the trans community and base this healthcare on our actual problems.
Think about one of the major misassumptions of the cis gendered people about trans people is that they changed their gender from sexual identity to another. When the fact is that, from my own experience, is that I was born a female, but I was labelled as a male because of the sexual characteristics of my body, and thus I was raised and socialized as a male. Therefore, my transitioning is actually me stripping myself of this false male gender identity and my male socialization, then living and developing my life as my female self and discovering who I am as a female, and as a female, how what my personal interactions with others are going to be. When I walk into a clothing store and look at the wide variety of women's apparel, what are my styles? What are my likes and dislikes in textures of cloth, colors, fashions, sensuality, that I like and that works for my physical features. Then look at all of that makeup, what's me, and what do I like?
Then now I am a woman, how am I going to be accepted, and how will I respond to people treating me as a woman. Then there are my sexual relationships, what will I experience when I am being treated as a woman, as apposed when people assumed I was a male. I know on Facebook and the AARP social website, that when I posted my picture, as you see it here, there were men who, immediately came on to me as a woman. It's like they thought that, here's a woman that I can spin into my masculine orbit with charm and overly evolved male ego. Some of this may have been sexual, and some of it, just men gathering their admiring harem to stroke their male ego, and admire their education.
Now, I personally stated in both cases, that I was transgender, and most of my resentment came from my emotional response of, "Who do they think, I am? They don't even know me!!!!! How can they make the assumptions that I would even want to get to know them, let alone become their admiring bitch. Just because a man has a penis, that doesn't mean, that automatically, want to have anything to do with it!!" Before I want to be considered as a part of a man's hero circle, I want to get to know him, and him me.
Well this goes to healthcare professionals, also. I want them to know about how I live my life as a trans woman, before they make decisions about my needs as a trans woman. I deliberately used the word, "trans" because I am somewhere in the spectrum of transgender and trans sexual.
So, while it is understandable, that, it may be uncomfortable for me and many other trans individuals to answer personal questions about our sexual practices and lives, I don't what them just to assume that I am a gay male cross dresser, which I am not. I am a woman. Nothing wrong with anyone being a cross dresser or the being a gay male cross dresser, or a bi sexual male crossdresser. And as far as my sexual practices, I don't know if I am a lesbian or bisexual, never having any sexual interactions with males. I can have imaginary sexual interactions with males and feel that I am ok with it. However, in my actual everyday life, I have never been near any male that I am sexually attracted to.
When I am in a relationship, I am intensely loyal to it, even when over time I do not know what that relationship really is. I am currently in a twelve year relationship. I am also extremely private about my personal sexual practices. I have never bragged or made up stories about any kind of personal sexual conquests. I have always been uncomfortable about this, even when others are spewing theirs to all within ear shot.
However, if healthcare professionals are going to make assumptions about my lifestyle I want them to be based upon the facts. I used to donate plasma. I have never had a sexual relationship with another person of my legally assigned gender. Just because I wore finger nail polish one of the people working at the plasma center became uncomfortable about me and pressed me, when I finally told her, I was a trans woman, my days of giving plasma were over even though I had been donating for months, and they had tested my blood for HIV a multitude of times and found nothing.
I don't think that I was rejected for having sex with my cis female partner who was also giving plasma at the same time that I was. I would have understood that my rejection because I was in a lesbian relationship with her. However, my driver's licence still listed me as male.
They judged me on prejudged and not on fact. I know that it is illegal for individuals who had had same sex sexual relationships to sell or donate blood products. But legally in Florida, I had not.
I guess each one of us will probably decide for ourselves when healthcare individuals get too personal about our sexual lives and just tell them to mind their own businesses.
This is kind of a conundrum, tell them to mind their own business, and them have them base our healthcare on ignorance, or tell them about our personal lives and over time they will base our healthcare on the healthcare realities of all trans individuals of whatever orientations.
Sooner or later, I feel, that the Affordable Care Act will be changed to insist that all health care polices have to provide for trans peoples healthcare needs including surgery if desired. I would hope that this healthcare will be based upon our real needs and not ignorance.
