LTL has more to the point and peky a hug.
I'd be inclined to add that a lot of my mates have been pointing to the sads as in seasonal affective disorders and the shifts in weather many of us have been experiencing adding to feeling extra cagey and more prone to feeling low... if nothing else that might give you a distraction in trying to get spring sprung...
I'm more of the break a plate variety... a simple but demented exercise of writing down your anxieties, insecurities, fears, hopes, dreams the things you need/want to say down on some discount plates and giving them a toss.
Sure, it leaves you to picking up the pieces and throwing them away or a lot of material to make some mosaics with. But either way, it gets what needs to be vented, let out ... out, out into the real world.
Sometimes we need to breakdown as much as we fear the outcome. I'd be partial to suggesting heading the mosaic route and redirect, channel that energy into a constructive and creative endeavor that allows you to express yourself, eating up your time and thoughts as you try to rearrange the pieces of your life.
But it sometimes works just as well to burn a little sage, recite a poem, rock out to your favorite song or whatever personal rituals bring you comfort and walk away.
There's no shame in walking away as along as you're able to confront it like bringing it into a tangible space and being able to physically deal with it, put it into perspective.
Though, I'm prone to some theatrics... rituals, performance and art. -- giving oneself a space to act out when they're lacking the resources or ability to communicate their needs and desires... and figuring out the steps to get there/achieve what they want. So, heading on a personal walkabout, journey... be it just a distraction or something more.
when things get dark, when I'm feeling low... it's where I find myself. It's where I know myself...honestly. I've built a lot of walls in my lifetime as it was necessary for survival... and it still is ... but they need to come down from time to time. And it does take some effort to bring them down, to give in and let go. Which is usually has a lot of fears attached to it but isn't always a bad thing.
But it does become harder with age... don't we all fear scraping our knees a bit more now than we did as a wee children. And our struggle to avoid a scraped knee, sometimes makes for a worse injury. But in this moment, I'm thinking it's a bit more troubling when we do we don't react nearly as much as most of us did back then... and i'm not too sure that's a good thing. I'm inclined to think how we act out as adults is to redirect all that tension into becoming obsessed with the things we can talk about - we exaggerate insignificant matters, getting fruther and further from the root of our issues and hiding from ourselves.
frankly, my typing here is a bit of an escapism for topics I don't know to approach myself... but I'd like to think it's the reflections in which we recognize within each other that brings us to a greater understanding of the questions or answers we seek, or at least helping us to find the language.
ever theatrical... dramatic... this song was playing in the echo of my thoughts
