Hi Andy,
Hope you're doing well in the TX heat. I wanted to make one suggestion about working with your PCOS. I have a friend who was diagnosed a few years ago, and due to her aversion to taking meds, decided to work on it on her own. She changed her diet to be more whole foods focused, eating more veggies and the like. I don't know about your eating habits, but hers were not great at the time, so I think this helped her to feel a bit better. She also started exercising (just walking regularly). The symptoms haven't been interrupting her daily life as much, anymore, so far as I know.
As for my own experience, I was having symptoms of PCOS (extremely painful menstrual cycles, often I couldn't go to work because they made me sick). I was tested however (ultrasound), and they didn't find evidence of cysts. I found that as far as dealing with the pain, naproxen sodium tablets worked best for me (brand name is usually Aleve or something like it). Obviously, though, these did not alleviate all symptoms, and yours sound more severe than mine.
I ultimately decided to go forward with HRT, and after my first month taking T I never had a menstrual cycle again. So that was one side benefit of T for me, but I totally sympathize with your uncertainty regarding it. I worried over the decision for about 4 years, and it was a very difficult one in the end.
I hope you feel better and that you find a solution that works for you.
Best,
Kesed