How is lesbian dating different from straight dating?

[suzifrommd]

I dated a lot of women as a male. Now that I'm trying to date as a female, it all has a deceptive familiarity. I need to remind myself that the territory is not as familiar as it seems and there is a lot I don't know.

If you've dated women both as a male and a female, how are the two different? Can you share your experiences?

[Ms Grace]

I'm having dinner with a lesbian couple on Thursday - one is a friend going back 25 years who was straight at first. It's a topic I'm curious about myself (unlike you though I never had many dates with women)...I'll ask them - and say "I'm asking for a friend"

[Adam (birkin)]

I'd be really interested in the answer as well. I've never been with a guy as a girl, and I've never been with a girl as a guy (well...not in the traditional dating sense anyway).

[LittleEmily24]

Having experienced gay dating, lesbian dating and straight dating. Unless there is a special kind of behavior brought on by the culture of my area, I'd say its all the same. When I was male I dated a guy for a little, and it was the same as dating a girl in a straight relationship, and being in a lesbian relationship currently   I'd say that people are too different to be pooled into one sort of experience.

Granted I have a habit of going after people who are kinda "out there" lol so maybe I just know what its like to date favorably crazy

[Brooke777]

I find that the dating as a lesbian is quite different than straight dating. I find that the conversation is a bit smoother, and more personal. Also, it seems like there is less of an attempt to impress the other person. When dating as a male, it seemed as if myself, and my date were trying to put their best foot forward. Which did not allow us to get to know each other on a very personal level. As a lesbian, neither of us are afraid to say how we feel. If we really like each other, we say so. If we just want to be friends, or never want to see each other again, then we say it. Nicely of course. Oh, and there is no expectation that one person will pay for everything. We actually discuss who will pay what.

All in all, dating as a lesbian is far more relaxing that dating straight.

[Heather]

I'll admit I have no clue about lesbian dating but if I keep on getting hit on by women I may just give in and find out for myself.

[Janae]

It has to be vastly different. Men pursue women in a totally different way than say another woman would, And for good reason.

Masculine energy is apples and oranges compared to a feminine one. There are just certain things that men do and give off when dating that just don't apply to women. Automatically men are expected to do and act a certain way that 2 women don't have to deal with. Brooke touch on some of this already.

[big kim]

No different for me,I've had the same lack of success with both!

[Frostice]

It kinda depends.

When I was a guy and had girlfriends. Not many of them really understood much of my interests, when society considering that it "belongs" to males.
If you find a girl to date, you are most likely to share make up, clothing and such as common interests. By that...it makes the dating closer and more personal imo.
Perhaps you will not have your biggest interests in common. But whatever that you will have in common will make it more unique.

Recently I met another MtF that is a soldier, and we fell in love. Maybe it isn't the most "femme relationship" you could think about, but I think that many transgirls still have the consciousness, when dating and can act abit male, since many of us missed that social part, when we didn't grow up with other females.

And honestly. By thinking of my personality, I have to think what kind of girls I can be with. I cannot imagine myself to be with a stereotypical girl, since I am not stereotypical...but that is my personal preference.

[Missadventure]

I found that as a man dating women I had to keep my feelings and desires hidden most of the time. I also had to act more assertive than I really am. And at some point those acts would become tiresome, and then the relationship would fall apart.

So, my recent attempt at lesbian dating... Well... It was much much shorter lived. But, it was very different.

Conversation was much more fluid and personal. Everything was more relaxed and comfortable. And I felt I was able to be much more open about my feelings and desires... Which, made it really easy for me to turn into a very emotionally intense lady without even realizing it and frighten her the hell away. 

Though, post relationship analysis shows that she was right to run. I've always ALWAYS been a foolish romantic, and in relationships I was the person doing sappy heartfelt romantic gestures, because, quite frankly, I wanted to be the recipient, and knowing that wasn't going to happen, I tried to live vicariously by being the person who instigated the act. And, well, the woman in question this time, as much as she's totally awesome, and as much as she totally gets me in nearly every way, well, she's not the type to write sappy love letters, or send me flowers for no reason. And, those were the expectations I had hung over her shoulders.

Sigh. Live and learn...

[Jodi.LP]

What Janae said

[noleen111]

It depends on the person you are dating..

Since starting hrt.. I have dated one woman and one guy

The woman.. She was nice and very easy to talk too.. I was relaxed straight away. I did open up easier to her. She was a very muscline woman.. Wore  no makeup, not even a lip gloss.. She dressed like guy.. She said she was very attracted to very girly girls. We only went out 3 times.. She never knew I was trans, as things never got that far.

The guy.. We dated for about 9 months.. And he was aware of my trans.. As we did sleep together a number of times. We were close.. It took a longer for me to be comfortable.

But I don't think there is really a difference between lesbian and straight dating.. It depends on the people involved.

[stephaniec]

I only dated a lesbian once as a male. she said she was attracted to me because of my hair. I had hair down to the middle of my back. My hair is quite feminine though. she slept with me , but didn't want sex so we only lasted a day. I really can't say if there's a difference though because I've had one night stands with guys too.