FtM and Queer

[Harpotho]

Has anyone had experience flirting with/datng cis guys while transitioning? I feel like I still look too female to flirt with cis guys.

[Arch]

I don't really flirt except when I'm not serious, and I'm definitely not looking for dates or a relationship. Maybe after I get my bottom half taken care of.

I've attracted the attentions of a couple of creepy guys and a nice guy about twenty years older than I. I flirted with a guy I was working with at Pride a few years ago, but I had no intention of going anywhere with it.

I thought I looked pretty female for quite some time after I started being read consistently as male, and I know that a lot of other guys have had the same experience. I don't think we can trust our own perceptions on that count, at least not 100%.

[Sebryn]

I have flirted and dated men while transitioning, but like Arch I don't flirt unless I'm serious. I don't really date for the sake of dating, more like looking for a lasting relationship, but right now I'm just more concerned with getting my professional life on track now that I can get my markers changed after having top surgery. The lack of bottom surgery hasn't been a problem for the guys that I have dated, but of course we can all run into the guys just don't want to date transmen and that's okay. Their loss. Many of the guys I've dated just think I am many years younger than I actually am hah.

One thing I have done to show myself how much I don't look like the old girl image I had before was to compare pictures from early transition to now. That has really shown me how much transitioning has changed how I look. I also live in a large city so I'd go to gay clubs and dance sometimes. I figured at worst I'd be perceived as a lesbian since most people aren't intentionally searching for transgendered people. I noticed that once my confidence was stronger I started being seen as male by most everyone else I was around.