How to come out?

[dt38190]

This is my first post so I'm kind of nervous anyway on Monday I went to my local GP and told him that I'm transgender and I've known since I could remember (he had never dealt with anyone who was transgender before and told me to come back in two weeks). Anyway I feel bad because my doctor asked me if I had spoken to my family about it and I haven't yet and I kind of don't know how to tell them its even harder that I have 3 brothers and no sisters. I'm very close to my Mum and will probably tell her first but even though I'm close it's still quite a hard thing to bring up. I used to play with girls toys and dress up as a girl all the time usually I would dress up as mulan and sings all the songs from the movie  and they've never asked if I was gay or anything (even although I'm 18 and never had a girlfriend). My family are quite modern but I'm still really nervous about telling them any suggestions?

[LittleEmily24]

There's really not easy or right time to tell someone, you just have to bite the bullet and do it. Though honestly I have a feeling that if you tell them, they wont be surprised judging by your behavior, especially since you said your family is "modern"

When I came out to my older brother (whom i barely hang out with btw), I expected him to be totally against it... turns out that he feels that "he understands my behavior better now" and my parents were in total shock... so you never really know what to expect when you come out to people. As long as you're safe.

The question you have to ask yourself (since you know your family better than anyone) do you think they'll accept you? or will they still love you once you're out? and if the answer is yes, then you just have to pick a time where you feel comfortable telling them... but don't wait for the "right time" because honestly, there is no right time.

Just make sure you are safe and informed and prepared for it. When I came out, I was totally in fear and i dont know why because i knew my family was going to support me and still care about me regardless, I honestly don't know why i was so nervous and afraid.

[Monique]

its actually really difficult to come out to family and friends, my mother had a really tough time accepting it when she found out which wasn't a good way to tell her. i bought something from an online womans store and it came into the mail but i was working that day so my mom found it and she asked me what it was, so i came right out and told her, she was first disgusted because she didn't understand it but then she got better at it, there really is no right time to tell anyone be it friends, family and others. i came out to my best friend the other day and i thought he was gonna hate me but actually it was the other way around, he accepted me for who i am and hes happy for me.

[Annabelle]

Hellooo and welcome

Well I honestly find coming out to whoever you are closer to such as childhood friends and family is much harder than just coming out to people you aren't as close with. Like the girls said before me. There really is no right time to tell your family or friends. I started off by telling my childhood friend while being scared he will totally reject me and think I'm gross. Of course he was shocked but now he fully supports my decision along with a few others

All the best girly

[Natalia]

It's one of the hardest parts of our transitions: coming out.

You can start giving small hints of how femine you are, showing that you care about your appearance and want it to look more feminine...you can start behaving more feminine...but sometimes our parents are just too blind to realize anything.

My parents never even had a clue I was trans. I gave them a lot of clues and on the last year I was giving a lot more on porpose, but they didn't realize until the day I decided to call my mother and tell her everything.

I never had a girlfriend (and I am with almost 27), never behaved on very masculine patterns...but they never thought anything was wrong with me. I wasn't even considered gay...they just thought I was kind of delayed and that some day my instincts woiuld wake up and from that day on I would start acting as a "normal" boy.

But here's mu advice: There is no way to run out. One day you'll have to call your mom and say it all. Get ready, choose the right words and tell her everything. You'll feel much better after coming out  , even if the results aren't the ones you want to expect.

I started remembering my mother of the feminine traits I have and telling her that I secretley crossdressed since I was 8. I told her how I was envious of women and how I would like to be accepted and seem as a woman. It was very hard for her to understand and accept me. Sometimes she was already treating me by feminine pronouns and giving me some of her old feminine clothes...sometimes she was in denial...but I am happy she had the chance to know my real me before she have gone a few days ago