How can I eliminate the fear and shame?

[Feather]

I was extremely nervous when I had a meeting with a trans woman for the first time. It took me months before I had the courage to tell my own mother., I was scared as a chicken to call a gender therapist whom I will meet next month. I was anxious beyond repair when I was in the waiting room before I told my doctor. I was almost petrified when I made an appointment for a total make over service.. I was sitting in the car and it took me an hour to find the courage to actually make the call. I wish I had a female voice, then it would be so much easier. My body awareness is really holding me back and makes me believe I am just kidding myself. I really don't like having a male body.
So far every step I took turned out well and the fears that I had were not rational. But what can I do to eliminate this fear and shame? Is this simply a matter of time?

[TerriT]

Those are huge steps. You should be happy to have taken them. It takes time and practice, and some things are easier for me now. I still have a lot of nervousness and apprehension.

[mrs izzy]

Fears are a emotional reaction to acceptance. Once you build up your confincence level of your acceptance the fears will melt away.

As you have seen there is no rationality to the fears you have had so far. Relax, breathe and enjoy who you are.

Society say it is shameful to have GID. There is no shame in a human trying to live a happy life.

Everyone here is normal.

Keep true to your path and take the steps as you need.

Hugs
Isabell

[Feather]

I feel almost frozen and petrified before I take any of these steps.. but always relieved afterwards.
I was in a state of only questioning for almost a year.. now things are speeding up, and I want it to speed up more. I can't wait to start therapy.

[Ciara]

Fear of the unknown is normal for everyone. Remember always that there is no shame in being transgender. Love who you are Feather. You have nothing to be ashamed of. It is those who don't accept us that carry the burden of shame.

[Ms Grace]

You have nothing to be ashamed of. It is those who don't accept us that carry the burden of shame.

I love that!

[Rachel]

Hugs Feather,

Keep a list of your accomplishments and how you felt before and after.

You told your Mom,
Made an appointment,
Shared with a Doctor,
Shared with a FtM trans* ally.

You said you felt good afterwards. Fear, as you said, is not rational but it is real. Embracing your gender and embracing your truth takes time, accomplishments and takes a lot of introspection an growth.

You have gone a long way in a short time, look at all your accomplishments. 

[Jason C]

I can relate to this, though not because I'm trans or anything. That's how I feel in general with my anxiety; it's so damn difficult to take the first step, and once you do take it, you realise it isn't as bad as you thought it'd be. I think time can help, but I'd say I agree with Cynthia Michelle; keeping a list of your accomplishments, the steps you take, and realising that you should be proud of yourself. The anxiety doesn't mean you're a coward or anything. In fact, having anxiety and being so scared and still doing something is soooo brave, and I have tons of admiration for you for having taken steps despite your fears. There is nothing to be scared of, logically; you're being yourself, and if someone doesn't accept that or doesn't respond in a decent way, they're not worth any negative feelings over.

[Feather]

Thanks for all the warm posts..!  ^^

I will start therapy late April.. loooong time