Hi everyone,
So I don't really know where to begin. I guess saying hi is a good start. Yasmin of course isn't my name, but it is what I'd pick for myself if I did ever transition. I'd like to talk a little bit about myself, maybe explain my situation to anyone that is willing to hear. So I guess I'll just start at the beginning of all of this. I'm 31 now and even though I know sexuality has nothing to do with it, I pretty much knew I was bi in my teens. But to battle that and push my fem side down, I resorted to being manly, lifting weights, etc. Coming from a culturally traditional and military family made just the idea of being different as something to push deep down and ignore. Even writing this is huge for me. It's sort of my first time coming out.
I didn't know I was this way from childhood like most people it seems. But looking back I could see some signs. Most of my good friends were girls and I had a habit of writing stories or movies from a girls perspective. Playing secondlife online, I relished in being a woman with friends and fashion, but even then I felt like I was lying to myself, like I was just a man pretending to be a woman.
The first time it hit me that I might be transgender was about two years ago. I don't remember how I came on the subject, but I was reading about hormones and transitioning and it really seemed to stick. But then I pushed it down again. I then graduated from medical school last year and the year long wait for residency left me questioning things again. The feelings are even stronger now and I've read up more and more on the subject.
Their are things I will have to do in the coming year or so. I need to see a gender therapist, I need maybe acknowledge who I really am while being far from friends and family, and I need to see if all this makes me happy. I cannot say for certain if this is just a fantasy or maybe I get arousal from the idea of dressing up as a woman, or if I really am transgender. What I can say for certain is that I apologize to the entire LGBT community for the wrong ways that I thought for so many years. I think I finally have somewhat of an understanding.
