It took me a long time to accept that any social dysphoria that I may have "counted" as "real dysphoria". It is like that question of if you were the only person on a desert island, would you still take T? Some people say you aren't truly dysphoric unless you answer yes.
Although I have had top surgery, I am not in great distress about my lower regions. Would I like to have a penis? Yes. Do I "use" what I have now? No. But, I am not freaking out about what is below my belt. I just pretty much ignore it. I also haven't always wanted facial hair. So, I didn't think I "qualified" as being "trans enough", to consider taking testosterone/to transition. Not being on T and being read only sometimes as female in public has been tolerable. Most of the time I am read as male. However, if I have a conversation, most often they eventually realize I am natal female.
Since top surgery I have been going out more. I didn't realize how much having my breasts removed (even though they could be hidden in a binder), would make me feel more free to go out and do things. Subsequently, going out has resulted in my having that uncomfortable experience of being misgendered, since the opportunity is now there. The social dysphoria has become unmanageable.
Two weeks ago I went on T. Low dose (.25 the normal dose). I don't know the long term plan yet, but I do know that I feel better on it. The low dose buys me time to figure it all out. There is also a health concern issue for me on T, so that plays into long term use, as well.
On pragmatic approach...use the time in college to figure it out. When you hit Senior year consider getting on T (if you are going to transition to male). You can get the name change, gender marker change, etc. over those last 9 months of school. You will graduate with a male name and will hopefully have enough T in you to pass at your first job. Just one option.
